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Timbo

Events and Promo Team
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Timbo last won the day on April 20

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About Timbo

  • Rank
    Full Member
  • Birthday 01/01/1966

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Lincolnshire
  • Interests
    History, Archaeology, language, wooden boats, woodwork, fishing, filmmaking. photography in no particular order.

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  1. It sure looks like it...and that bloke on the left of the bridge suddenly felt hungry and is off to get some chips!
  2. Timbo

    Bad Manners

    There was alway's Uncle Albert's approach Ray. Uncle Albert was my dad. Ex RN and ex Humber Keelman. In the case of yachts (pronounced yaCHt's by Uncle Albert, anything smaller was a dingy as in 'dark and' to Uncle Albert), he'd instruct us to hug the bank to starboard. Once within range of Uncle Albert's best Petty Officer's bellow, and if no signal had been given to us, Uncle Albert would bellow out 'Oi prat features! What's holding your ears apart? Give us a clue?'. Any resulting verbal match was usually quickly over by means of Uncle Albert's dockyard vocabulary and his abilities as a sign language instructor. Now 'Stalham Chicken's' (Uncle Albert's term for both privateers and hirers who travelled too fast with no concern for others, sorry Clive,...erm how best to translate this...hmm...Uncle Albert said they were all 'a name for a male bird' and toenails) would get one of Uncle Albert's special winks and grins. He could put just as much expression into a wink and grin as he could into a 'good cussin'. Someone on the receiving end of a special wink and grin would suddenly slow their speed. It was if the silly old bloke in the sailor hat knew something that they didn't and you just knew it would result in a chat with either a copper, the bank manager, your Mrs, her mother or all of them.
  3. Timbo

    Where's Timbo?

    A bit like Poltergeist... "This house is clean...." well the computers are!
  4. Visited Meadowhall Mall this evening with Ellie and Granddaughter Gracie (5) and after visiting 'Build a Bear' we toured a fragrance shop or three. In one shop the sales assistant asked her Manageress the name of a fragrance a customer was asking for by describing the bottle. "Its J'Adore" says Gracie. The assistant smiled at Gracie and asked her Manageress again. "Its J'Adore by Dior!" says Gracie. The Manageress bent down to talk to Gracie. "Are you going to work in a perfume shop like this when you are bigger?" she asks. "Yes, but one that knows the names and has clean shelves like Grandma's," answers Gracie. From the mouths of babes!
  5. Timbo

    Where's Timbo?

    Danish oil...if it's of Scandinavian origin!
  6. Timbo

    Where's Timbo?

    The tent has been dried and is currently laid on top of the rest of the 'gubbins' in my kitchen that was packed into my car for the DIY SOS weekend. The journey back from Norfolk had been somewhat tight fuel wise. I'd stopped at Swaffham to rummage through the car for pennies, cobbled together ten quid and put that much fuel into my tank. I arrived home after a two-hour forty-five-minute journey showing eight miles left in my tank. The beagles were ecstatic to see me, so I spent an hour sat on the sofa covered by a blanket of beagle while I caught up with my daughter Holly who had been on beagle sitting duties. After I had taken Holly to the train station the next day for her journey home to Wigan I was showing zero fuel in my tank. Anyone remember the 'Potter's Wheel'? Well, there has now been a short intermission while Timbo catches up with his sleep. I slept most of Monday and Monday night. After walking the dogs on Tuesday morning I slept the rest of the day until time for the evening walk. I then slept the night. I unpacked the car Wednesday morning and then...slept through the afternoon and well into the evening, and then slept through last night and awoke around 7 am this morning feeling refreshed and ready for work. Walking through to my 'Office-editing suite-second studio-stills studio' I discover something horrific. Well-meaning, but horrific all the same. A note from my daughter placed on my computer which read "I've installed Windows 10 for you, get with it Dad". OMG! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO Noooooooooooooooooooooo! Unfortunately, I use computers to do a job of work which Windows 10 is not even remotely capable of doing. So, where's Timbo? Uninstalling Windows 10 and eradicating any trace of it from my system. It's the computer equivalent of Japanese Knotweed! So hopefully by the end of the day, I will have cleaned all drives and be ready for work again. Just as an indication of how crap Windows 10 actually is...I have two identical laptops both with the same software. One Windows 10, the other Windows 7. Windows 10 takes over 6 minutes to boot and load my main piece of software. Windows 7 does this in under 30 seconds. Render times for film is a right eye opener. To render six minutes of footage using windows 7 about an hour. Windows 10...2 days. So while I'm formatting drives, the post arrives and with it a letter from my Quack and an appointment for hospital. The Saturday before the DIY SOS I attended hospital for a brain scan and a shoulder scan. At one point I did bend down to tie my shoelace so who knows what else got scanned? I now have an appointment to see my GP on Friday to discuss what they found...and an appointment on Saturday at the hospital for another scan and pre-op. So more when I find out whether it's my head, a...spect or elbow.
  7. Timbo

    Diesel Emissions.

    Having just had two identical new model cars with exception of one being diesel and the latest petrol...my next car will be diesel. Two reasons. It's cheaper to run, and I get better torque so will be able to use my vehicle in light snow.
  8. Timbo

    Tudor Reformation

    Griff...that is very much a yes please kind sir! RT did have two mudweights ...for the fishing...I have one at home that Uncle Albert was in the process of splicing when he was taken ill I don't know where the other is though. Anyone that knew Uncle Albert knew he hated 'old folks centres' having been a social worker specialising in the elderly. But he would regularly attend the 'old dear's knitting club' at one home in Gainsborough every week. Picturing those old ladies knitting away and Uncle Albert sat in the middle with a coil of rope and a marlin spike often makes me chuckle. "Ooh 'ant he got strong 'ands Ada!" "Ere...Aggy he says I can touch 'is fid!" Of course, according to Uncle Albert, he hated it...but he still turned up with a coil of rope on his zimmer frame and sit next to Ada and Aggy.
  9. Timbo

    Diy Sos (forum Style)

    Thank you, sir, you are a gentleman, better still a Yorkshireman! Never worry we'll get you 'roped in' too. After all, there's Uncle Albert's Tot Collection (single malts & Pusser's Rum) that will need some attention when we get back under 'that' bridge for what I'm calling 'Uncle Albert's Coming Out Party'!
  10. Timbo

    Diy Sos (forum Style)

    Oh while I remember...for members not at the DIY SOS weekend it's.....Competition time! Can you name this NBN Member?
  11. Timbo

    Diy Sos (forum Style)

    So...how do I start to thank so many fantastic, marvellous people? By saying thank you, of course, but words cannot express the surge of emotion that an event like this past weekend produces. Saturday morning arrived and it was like the roughest crossing of Breydon with waves, tides and currents made up of euphoria, love, melancholy, joy, amazement and gratitude. Of course there was a lot of wind and water too...but that's only to be expected when you get boaters altogether in one place! I suppose the best place to start is at the beginning and thank someone whose friendship and help has meant so much to me over the past few years. Without Doug, Royal Tudor (RT) would have been at the bottom of the basin in Wayford years ago. While I was at my lowest possible ebb he reached out the hand of friendship and has been a true friend, mentor and a source of good old fashioned common sense ever since. To be honest, without Doug's kindness and patience it's not just the boat that would be in a sorry state. Passing on just a few of his skills gave me a new lease of life. He taught me just about everything I know on the subjects of boating & woodwork...of course not everything that he knows. So a very big thank you to Doug for organising and suggesting the event and of course working like the veritable blue bottomed fly! Next we have a couple who typify what the Boating Community and particularly that of the NBN is all about. Mike was one of the very first friends I made on The Broads back in the days of hiring. Needing to print out my forum logos and not having a printer Mike offered to print them for me and post them to me. “What's your address? asks Mike. “Gainsborough.” says I. “I'm eighteen mile up the road in Scunny.” says Mike. Not only had Mike printed out my forum logos but he passed a cross a printer he had spare and enough ink cartridges to cobble dogs with. Uncle Mike and Aunty Pat are never far away if you need them and check up on me regularly. This weekend they provided the food tea and coffee, enough to feed an army. The do say that an army marches on it's stomach and apparently so do boat builders! Alongside Doug we had a resident expert in Dave (Janet Anne). When I first got involved with the Broads boating community Ellie had feared I had fallen in with a group of cross dressers. I mean Doug was known as 'Doug Perfect Lady', then there's 'Peter Jenny Morgan' and of course there's 'Dave Janet Anne'. Of course, although Dave does have the luscious locks, the beard and King Charles Moustache sort of gives the game away! This weekend was the first time I had met Dave...but like so many members of the NBN I count him as good friend. After all, I think we must talk on the telephone at least once a week! Not only using his skills and knowledge to fit heating systems and fuel tanks he also calmed a few natives and provided pipes, fittings, fixtures, paint designs and redesigns and worked long into the evening while the rest of us had retired for a shower and the nearest pub! Dave comes as a triple act you know. Well he does now! Along with Dave comes the lovely Ally. So, with the state my head is in these days I was calling the poor girl Sam all weekend. Ally is now the leader of the Goons. Goons slave away in the dark shoving putty into the cracks of boats for hour after hour after hour after hour. And she says she enjoys it! I have to admit that when I joined the rest of the Putty Goons under the boat I found it quite relaxing laid flat on the floor in the cool! Well, just for the short time that I was there. Working with Dave was Sellsey. Piping, plumping, braising, building and slaving away in RT's hot bilges. So we had the Goon Gang and we had our 'House Elves' Pauline and Lulu. The ladies slaved away from morning till evening, frying bacon, buttering bread, making sure everyone was hydrated and then clearing away and preparing for the next day. They'd also been busy baking way before we had arrived for the weekend! Thank you ladies! Just as a follow up I did tell Ellie that in future I expected to be fed and watered on demand with cake twice a day. Do you know, I think she's taken to the idea. Well she did say 'yeah right'! Now many of you will have realised over the weekend that I'm crap with names. Isn't that right Sam? So bear with me if I can't remember everyone's names. I can see all of your faces and remember and appreciate everything that you did. We had the Bakewell Tarts...three fantastic gentlemen of the Broads that fitted new cabin sides, the cooker and the fridge and quickly must have realised by my blank expression on several occasions that...I'm an idiot. Pauline confirmed my idiot status and got the best blank look from me when she told me that I 'tended to think out of the box' and asked 'what would you do about President Trump?'. I get the feeling our Polly is putting a 'team' together. A team with 'skills'! We had Jonzo helping make patterns for cabin sides, Robin, Phil, Ian and my brother in law Steve in the sanding gang. Grendel making window fittings and carving bespoke bits and pieces on demand. If I have forgotten to mention someone by name I do apologise as my head is in such a whirl still. Please, please accepts my apologies and heart felt thanks for all of your hard work and friendship. To close, for the minute at least, thanks to Ian and the staff at Martham Boats for allowing all of us to work in the sheds, it is very much appreciated indeed! Timbo
  12. Timbo

    Diy Sos (forum Style)

    Lay in this morning... Awake at 5:38, fire lit and kettle on. Yesterday was a fantastic day spent in the company of so many wonderful people. Uncle Mike and Auntie Pat provided vittals to feed the five thousand, which Polly and Lulu set about doing. The smell of frying bacon in a boatshed is damned fine! Everybody worked flat out all day, everybody except me that is. I spent the day bimbling around trying to remember everyone's name and where various tools and bits of the boat were. I can't thank everyone enough for all their support and hard work. We must have crammed six weeks of work into a day! Right the kettle is boiling... Time for a coffee! Slightly damp camping today!
  13. Timbo

    Diy Sos (forum Style)

    I'm up and raring to go Grendel. Kettle is on at Hickling but just realised I left the SD cards at home!
  14. Timbo

    Diy Sos (forum Style)

    5...4...3...2...1...Thunderbirds are GO! Thunderbird 2 (which seems to look like a Qashqai) is currently descending onto the equipment pod in the hanger. The next-door neighbour is currently shouting at me for fitting hinges on her shrubbery to make 'take off' from Timbo Island more realistic. Essentials are packed. Working from my daughter's list she's just written for me... Food (crate of beer), cutlery (bottle opener), suitcase (full of medication...should have taken some perhaps), tent (Maurice Mynah Memorial Marquee), Tools (everything from the shed that will fit in a box), Tool (me in the driving seat), Vegetables (I think that's me again), bits of boat (curvey wood), bits of boat in kit form (rough wood in planks), knob (could be me...but I'm guessing she means the one Stuart made for RT's throttle), Stain (checking the front of my t-shirt) camera (wonder if it's Aztec? where is that medication?), phone (for ET impressions and talking to brother in law Steve on the trip down), dognuts (I'm going to have to ask...will report back when I find out but Dylan and Toby are looking worried), Darth Vader outfit (nebuliser), wine (aw do I have to?) and dougHnuts not dognuts (for me to eat on the way down.Chillax beagles!). So I'm looking forward to seeing everybody very soon. Steve and I will be at the beautiful Hickling Campsite from around 6pm depending on traffic!
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