How Your Memory Works.

Regulo · November 16, 2017

So, why can't you recall names anymore? Here's what I think happens.

Your memories are stored in your brain inside a big cabinet marked "Memories". There's a little man whose job it is to file memories away, and
retrieve them later. Mine's called Bippo. Bippo is the same age as me. He always is, because he's inside my brain. When we were young, Bippo was very good
at storing memories in the cabinet. There weren't too many, and Bippo was young, like an eager, waggy-tailed puppy. And he was fast. He was like
Usain Bolt crouched over in the starting blocks. As soon as the Guv (me) asked for a memory he sprinted to the cabinet, got the memory, sprinted back, and
waved it in front of my mind's eye before I'd finished asking for it.
But 40 years later, me and Bippo have slowed down. Rather than being crouched over like Usain, now Bippo's just crouched over. When I asked Bippo to get me
the name of the bloke I'd spent three days on a course with in 1978, Bippo's first response was to put his teeth back in. They'd fallen in his lap while he was
having a nap in his armchair. His second response was, "Really? Must I? Suppose I'll have to, then". He picks up his walking stick, hobbles over to the Memory
cabinet, then realises he hasn't got the key. It's in his jacket, hanging on the back of his chair. Back he goes, gets the keys, and returns to the cabinet.
Wrong keys. These are for the "Emotions" cabinet. Bippo has the zero hours contract for that, after I sacked Nippo. He just wasn't gainfully employed nowadays.
I asked Bippo for some "Lust" from the Emotions cabinet last week, but by the time he'd got there, I'd lost interest and made a nice cup of tea instead.
He's left out the Apathy, Lethargy, Procrastination and Idleness files from that cabinet, hardly worth putting them away. Anyway, after another journey to
the jacket, Bippo finally has access to the Memory cabinet. Not much point without his reading glasses, which are on the side table by his chair. Except after
hobbling back, Bippo can't find them. He spends the next four hours, wandering around my brain, until he finds them tucked behind the pituitary gland, where
he'd left them while pretending to be a jockey on my optic nerve. That explains the tic under my left eye I had earlier. On his return, Bippo is so tired he
needs a quick breather, so sits down and falls asleep again. Four hours later, his teeth landing on his crotch wake him up with a start. "Blimey, the Guv
wanted a memory earlier, I'd better get it, sharp!", he thinks. After his nap, Bippo is invigorated, and makes good time in getting the cabinet open. Of
course, the memory cabinet is stuffed full, and over the years things aren't always where they should be. Some memories, have been lost forever down the back
of the cabinet. Unfortunately, others have "DO NOT DELETE" red tabs on them. Bippo gets these out at the most inappropriate times, just to bring the Guv
down to earth now and then, like the one about my mate's 18th birthday party, where the girl I drunkenly backed into a corner and groped and slobbered over,
turned out to be his granny. Thanks, Bippo. While rummaging about, Bippo decides some files can be thrown out. PIN numbers, Birthdays, car registrations,
anniversaries, grandchildren's names they all have to go, according to Bippo. Finally, Bippo has success. File requested has been found. Bippo hobbles over to my mind's eye and
proudly waves the answer in front of it.