Where's Timbo?

[YnysMon]

Welcome back Timbo!

Helen

[MauriceMynah]

Bout time too you skiving little snot bag!

 

:)

[Malanka]

Oh timmy timmy timmy,

You simply can't be left alone for five minutes without another right Royal (geddit??) cock up heading your way with gusto and plashing one timbo time after time.

Blood pressure . Check

Rotator cuff. Check

Chest pains. Check

Angina. Check

Mini Stroke. Check

Arythmia. Check

New meds. Check then chuck

Medics. Check more different opinions than fleas on a dog.

What's the difference between God and a Doctor. God doesn't believe he is a doctor.

 

If that didn't make you smile then you're a boring old git. Get better soon.

[Wildfuzz]

Ah the wit remains, good to hear from you - I think -  ref our discussion can you text or PM me your address please?

[Timbo]

....Aaaaaand in Timbo watch this week, we visit the GP's Emporium of Quackery for more idiocy.

Still feeling rubbish I attended the Emporium of Quackery yesterday. Getting into the place was a task of Olympic proportions. The ramp that you must use to access the doors on the first floor was slick with an inch of ice and not gritted. Next Winter Olympics I'm going for the gold in the plaiting your legs up a slope men's event.

Blood pressure OK, temp OK, Pulse, ok ish...look folks I'm a sucker for nurses ok? Then I said the magic words 'chest pain'. In seconds my shirt was off and the young nurse is attaching electrodes to the 'moob' area.
"OMG you smell amazing I could eat you, try and relax!" says the nurse. 
Right.

The upshot is...I've had a heart attack.

So I'm whipped upstairs to see another medico and given an 'urgent' appointment to see my actual GP...in four months time. That's an urgent appointment to see my, well not my GP but a locum, in four months time for a review. A review of 'what' I don't know. In the meantime, I'm told to go home and rest but 'if you feel funny phone an ambulance'! Now, to avoid activating the forum automatic anti-swear software I will allow you to add your own expletives at the correct juncture.
"Now listen Sonny Jim, you don't know me, but if you did, then you would know that I'm not just 'funny', (get ready with the daffodils) I'm hilarious!"

And do you know what fellow members of the NBN? Do you know what? He upped the antidepressants and booked me in for a psych evaluation (next week, not four months). Ah well! I've asked that they put me in the same ward as Maurice Mynah, Vaughan, Wussername and Regulo. 

Oh, the fragrance I was wearing was Creed Bois de Portugal!

[Timbo]

Oh I forgot...My doctors surgery is located in Elswitha Hall (come on Vaughan...Alfred the Great's Mrs, she was a Gainsborough Girl) it's also the birthplace of Halford Makinder...one for the politico's and geographers!

[Regulo]

53 minutes ago, Timbo said:

Halford Makinder..

He's the Indian chap who works in the Basildon branch of the motoring shop, isn't he?

[Vaughan]

1 hour ago, Timbo said:

Ah well! I've asked that they put me in the same ward as Maurice Mynah, Vaughan, Wussername and Regulo.

That would be a fun ward, wouldn't it? Quick nurse, the screens!

My father would have said "If the devil could cast his net"!

Look after yourself my friend and get in practice for when we see you again in May!

[Maxwellian]

I don’t know what Timbo is on but I want some. Get well soon Tim.

[Timbo]

1 hour ago, Regulo said:

He's the Indian chap who works in the Basildon branch of the motoring shop, isn't he?

Nah Ray, your thinking of his uncle whose wife was on Crime watch for stealing the plastic toys out of chocolate eggs!

 

[Regulo]

Oh, yes. "Halfincher" Makinder we called her.

[grendel]

40 minutes ago, Timbo said:

Nah Ray, your thinking of his uncle whose wife was on Crime watch for stealing the plastic toys out of chocolate eggs

kinder strange behaviour.

[grendel]

2 hours ago, Timbo said:

I'm told to go home and rest but 'if you feel funny phone an ambulance'!

no  feeling yourself and phoning an ambulance

[JanetAnne]

If you are going to start adding heart attacks to your repotoire will we need to re-train the beagles?

[Timbo]

7 minutes ago, JanetAnne said:

If you are going to start adding heart attacks to your repotoire will we need to re-train the beagles?

This will be HA no 4 if confirmed and stroke no 19...so Dylan takes it all in his stride. Although I have to say, at the minute he's starting to look a bit peeved. As if to say 'I know you're not right, but either hurry up and keel over or get better I need a nap'!

Toby, on the other hand, seems to pick up more on how belligerent I'm feeling and has taken to piddling up the leg of various charity collectors, local politicians and salesmen who won't go away.

Incidentally, I know I will never be 'right'! It's an oath Maurice Mynah makes you take when he inducts you into the Broads Society of Fools & Joculators!

[grendel]

if this goes on much longer we will get them to install a starting handle in your chest, two turns and back to 'normal'

[Bound2Please]

4 minutes ago, grendel said:

install a starting handle in your chest

Not quite a starting handle, but when they had my heart out in 1997 on St Paddys day, they left a pair of jump leads hanging out till about 3 hours before escaped them. The most painful things to be pulled out of healing chest as congealed blood on them, was like razor blades coming out of the chest skin.

[Timbo]

FANFARE: Played on a Kazoo by an asthmatic chicken. 

Ben Gunn Productions are proud to announce...

The birth of my Grandson Arlo at 1:35 am this morning. Not seen the little tyke yet but according to Ellie he looks like her brother Steve (aka Watson to folks following RT's adventures & management of the Wayford Inn). Poor little...! Still, he has me as a Grandad...no wait...that's a good thing!

So time to dust off those fishing rods and get practising for when Arlo is old enough to have fishing lessons. I've put him on the waiting list for his season ticket at St James Park. There's nothing that lightens my soul more than the grandkids shouting 'Howay the lads!' when they score a goal...particularly as Daddy is a misguided Chelsea supporter! 

In the meantime, I'm keeping Gracie (5) entertained with trips to the park for the 'Open Air Park Ballet & Disco Dancing World Championship'. This involves Gracie being a ballet teacher and competitor for Great Europe, me being the pupil as well as providing voices for the Chinese and German Judges and the commentary for the BBC on this televised competition. 

For those wondering, the name Arlo was chosen by his Dad. Not for Arlo Guthrie but Arlo the friendly dinosaur. It is to be noted that Gracie has been asking if her new brother will be green or black? Name your baby after a dinosaur and your five year old will expect you to produce a dinosaur!

So we are off to celebrate...and then we may be moving onto the 'Indoor Round of the Park Ballet & Disco Dancing World Championships'. There are ten rounds with a maximum of 100 points per round. After three rounds the scores are:

Gracie: 560 points
Rest of the world: 2

[Regulo]

Congrats, Timbo. 

[MauriceMynah]

Indeed, many congratulations. I only knew Arlo as a place very near me...Still........ Just as well the dinosaur wasn't called Basingstoke.

[Polly]

Lucky dinosaur 

/ er baby having you for a grandad. Congratulations 

[Malanka]

So Tim, you gonna be at the spring meet up or what? Get well soon you rumbunctious old git. 

 

No slacking, no back sliding, get better dopey, no more near misses with the reaper and stop with the strokes it's getting boring. We miss you........

 

M&F

[Springsong]

Glad you are  "well" again look after yourself us stokers must stick together.

[Bound2Please]

congrats Tim

[Maxwellian]

:)