stumpy

Many years ago I was told by an old boatyard owner that anyone who sets out to convert battery power to heat is on a road to nowhere.

A few weeks ago I had a mardle with someone who knows the boat well - it involved a great deal of tooth-sucking.

Gentleman single handers of a certain age who are careful about hydration might find one or two useful if kept within reach of the helm.

That looks very much like a ThermX heater - we have one as the only built in heating on No Worries. Its passed 3 BSSs so far and takes the edge off nicely but we only have a small volume to heat. In the depths of winter we try to moor by a 'lecky post and fire up the fan heater.

Paul, the £10.40 could be courtesy of a sparks working on the 'lecky point. We were fortunate to be moored at Dilham some years back when the points were being installed. We provided the guys installing said post with cuppas and a loo, when they finished safety testing and making sure the card reader worked they left us with just under a fiver on the meter!

My dear old Mum (a psychiatric sister tutor) used similar tactics on my kid sister. After a fierce interview without coffee anything left on the floor when she went out was bin-bagged and piled behind the garden shed. Eventually she started running out of Chelsea Girl going out schmutter - "Mum! Wheres my sequinned hot pants?" "Behind the shed, third bag down" She learned! 50 years on we still wind her up about it.

Do that don't? That did do!

There seems to be an awful lot of kipping going on.

It could be stink weed- theres shedloads of it at Fairhaven Water Gardens.

We have a Wavestream filter, it removes oil and other pollutants from the bilge pump outlet, dead simple cartridge filter. Passed three BSS tests so far, apparently you can drink the output but I've never tried it.

A cynical old curmudgeon might suggest it's a measure to obscure the identity of a boat that may or may not have just clattered into another boat and hammered off into the sunset leaving only a trail of empty Stella cans.

I well remember NorVic being the school shoe of choice and weren't those hideous sandals with a little flower cut out in the front and white sponge soles also made in Norwich?

Tuning was so much easier in the good old days - roll of chequered tape down the side, STP sticker on the back and a good dose of castor in the tank - jobs a good'un 😂

The only broad I wouldn't advise mudweighting on is Salhouse as it has a firm sandy bottom rather than black gloopy mud so the weight just rolls about rather than sinking in. If you must, the best holding seems to be in the bay near the island at the upstream end.

I believe they've fitted an electric sail drive, or something similar, to some of the Hunter fleet. Round here, which is amateur lobster pot central, sail- and out-drives are known as devil's egg whisks.

Out on the Felixstowe Rd on what used to be called the Suffolk Showground. We used to go every year but the admission prices keep creeping up and most of the goods for sale seem to be Chinese tut. Cracking bacon baps from the burger van though.

Perhaps he's bought it for his leaving do?

Back in my Cuzzie days a colleague was confined to desk duties as he used to hurl even on a 400-odd foot box boat securely moored to a concrete quay. It was recognised by the department as a valid disability so reasonable measures were taken to keep him on.

Had a late night phone call with mate in Detroit who's dad lived in the Upper Peninsula of the state ( really really the back of beyond) and pemmican is still a thing up there amongst the Chippewa locals. Steve has eaten it when out looking for deer and apparently it tastes like you'd imagine but it keeps you going through five foot snow!

Ah yes! That late night/early morning kebab - and why does one always say yes to the question "Chilli sauce boss?"

"Sorry folks, my batteries are flat so I've got to run the engine. I need to pull the curtains" You couldn't make it up!

Some years ago when I stood behind a bench in the Customs Hall at Felixstowe we had regular school battlefield trips coming back from Zeebrugge. A bearded buffoon of a history teacher toddled up and after a bit of a struggle presented me with a rusty Mills bomb he'd confiscated from a spotty faced Herbert! Apparently he'd had it in his pocket for a couple of days and an 8 hour ferry crossing. EOD from Colchester didn't take long to get from Colchester!

Adnams brewery used to have a cracking cartoon on the back of their drays - a pig sitting in a deckchair raising a foaming tankard captioned "Adnam's pigs are happy pigs". They were fed on the spent mash from the brewery and made wonderful bacon!

The ' beer back funnel' used to be often seen hanging on the cellar wall, the ones I've seen always had a very narrow spout so as not to disturb the bottom of the barrel. All the slops would go into the mild barrel at closing and be settled by opening time the next day.