MauriceMynah

I wonder if a certain CEO will ever realise that he is in charge of a National Carr Park.

I have, for some months now, been curious about posts that have been "liked" and have wondered about the order the likes are displayed. They are not in time date order, nor are they in alphabetical order. What order are they in please? I just wondered. Perhaps if loads of you "liked" this post I might be able to work it out.

And the distinct odour of haddock

Great, somewhere for me to keep my bee..... Great, somewhere for me to keep your bee..... Great, somewhere for you to keep my bee... Great, somewhere for you to keep your bee... Great, somewhere for us to kee... Great, somewhere for the beer.

No, it's quite true, you will be back to the boat.

I would imagine that like most things in life, you get what you pay for. The broads has moorings to suit most budgets, the cheaper ones having few facilities, the pricier ones having more. I'm still looking for one where nubile young virgins drape themselves all over the boat 24/7... Anything to keep that wretched duck poo off the decks.

Just kidding Clive, I make my own diesel (Biodiesel) from used veg oil. 25p a litre is what it costs me and I'm allowed to make up to 2500 litres per rolling year. I make somewhat less than that, about 2000 litres.

Time to mention the "Elephant in the room" Liveaboards are not the problem, it is peoples perception of liveaboards that causes all the issues and there is a logical (but not good) reason for this. A number of these people keep their boats clean, in good order and are genuinely a credit to the community. These people are hardly ever mentioned when discussions about livaboards occur. Why not? Because nobody notices them for what they are. Their boats are seen but not recognised as homes, they are thought to be "just another boat on the broads". Then you get the stereotyped liveaboard. This boat is dirty, covered in rubbish along with the bank beside it. Nobody wants it near them, and it's owner is considered a worthless skiver and probably dishonest too. I don't remember how the occupants of Thorpe Island were allegedly described by someone in the BA or the council, but I do remember the description being thoroughly offensive. I also know nothing about the people who live on the island nor the general appearance of the site but all parties need to look at the island and see which camp it lies in. Typical or stereotype. Please please please no one should take offence to the above and remember I am talking about PERCEPTIONS here.

Price match with my supplier then Clive... 25ppl

Sorry folks, I really must protest. The Cators have provided much to the comforts of mooring on the broads. There was much said when the "No Mooring" signs went up, Now they wish those mooring there to contribute to it's upkeep much is being said again. Why on Earth should they let boats moor there free of charge? If 6 boats moor there per night 365 nights a year ( though I would suspect it to be fewer) that would give an annual income of £17,520. not enough to pay for the renewal of quay heading (every 10 years or so), rates for litter disposal, insurances and so forth. But no, Instead of gratitude all I read is about the rich getting richer etc. If a private individual is going to do something to help the boating, fishing and twitching fraternity that individual will need to have a fat wallet to start with. and should they feel it necessary for those they help to contribute, then good luck to them. I for one thank them for their efforts.

It's taken me a while to work out "F*G*O*S". Only derog in the USA I believe

It's not "Half Pint" is it?

These things happen in stages... The only one there... The only one a bit there.. The only one a bit not there ... and... The only one not there anymore. Now, perhaps here's where I get my wrist slapped. The cynic in me wonders if a boat that had 'just about had it' suddenly becomes insured and by amazing coincidence develops an electrical problem and catches fire late at night. Ok, I accept it might have been insured all along,. but a derelict boat shouldn't just catch fire.

arghhh the Bells the Bells ! I need Grants.

I take your point Charlie, but I think Essex jokes predate TOWIE by quite some margin. To quote from Wikipedia... "Essex girl, as a pejorative stereotype in the United Kingdom, applies to a female viewed as promiscuous and unintelligent, characteristics jocularly attributed to women from Essex. It is applied widely throughout the country and has gained popularity over time, dating from the 1980s and 1990s." and... "The stereotypical image formed as a variation of the dumb blonde/bimbo persona, with references to the Estuary English accent, white stiletto heels, mini skirt, silicone-augmented breasts, peroxide blonde hair, over-indulgent use of fake tan (lending an orange appearance), promiscuity, loud verbal vulgarity, and socializing at downmarket nightclubs." Wikipedia then goes on to quote Time magazine saying... "In the typology of the British, there is a special place reserved for Essex Girl, a lady from London's eastern suburbs who dresses in white strappy sandals and suntan oil, streaks her hair blond, has a command of Spanish that runs only to the word Ibiza, and perfects an air of tarty prettiness. Victoria Beckham – Posh Spice, as she was – is the acknowledged queen of that realm " So there you have it! As a genre of humour it is recognised in the USA. Essex was chosen owing to its proximity to London, otherwise the genre could equally have applied to Norfolk and Great Yarmouth or Suffolk and Lowestoft. Wherever it applies, if it wasn't there, it would have been somewhere else. As for the actual jokes, like any other jokes, some are good, some are not. Most are inane and a few are genuinely offensive. Twas ever thus.

That should please the neighbours.

I want a sign in the back of my car saying... ..."Children have all grown up and left home. You may now go back to driving like an a**e."

Hmmm, Sing-along-amap ... It'll never catch on I tell you

It was 1965 and I was 11. My uncle who had taught me to handle a boat on the Thames Estuary said "Right you are, Keep to the right, pass Port to port and give way to sailing craft." He then left me at the helm of this 40 footer albeit only for a couple of minutes while he had a 'comfort break' as they're called now. I too was S*** scared but as proud as punch too. It was one of Richardson's called 'Fancy Free' I'd love to find some pics of her but all I have is a very small pic originally from the brochure.

Well like Carole, I was like born just artside of Sarfend like in Leon See like innit you know, and like I noo Sarfend well like you know. Bofe me an me sister like went to West-leigh skool an she went on to Belfairs like, but we moved an I went to a rather pleasant school in Hertfordshire. Gives one hairs and graces don't you know! Seriously though, I have no problem with taking the pee out of Essex, if it hadn't been there it would have been somewhere else. There are indeed some wonderful places in Essex, personally I'm pretty fond of Dunmow, Chelmsford and most of the sea-side places.

Well It's all sounding good to me. I'm looking forwards to visiting you whenever I head down to the southern waters.

Yep, I can't remember what was going through my mind (apart from "Jaws" ) when I posted that ! Probably just got back from the pub !!! Never mind eh, you'll get used to me.

To paraphrase a certain film Coolcat..... ... "You're going to need a bigger sofa"

I am forever in your debt thingamybob

Hiya, great to see you posting here, very much look forwards to seeing you out and about.