Night Owls Nook

[Timbo]

You are imagining you are listening to NBN late night radio NIGHT OWLS CORNER with your host this evening Simon Sloth!

 

Tonight on NBN NOC...A Special Programme. Startling Wildlife on the Broads! We talk exclusively to the Broads Authority's Ranger Littleton. Tonight's music comes from Joseph Locke, The Festering Saws and the Billockby Bontempi Electric Reed Organ Society.

 

[Timbo]

Good-bye, good-bye I wish you all a last good-bye!

 

That of course was Joseph Locke with Goodbye from the White Horse Inn...but it's not horses we are here to talk about tonight is it as I welcome Ranger Littleton of a new wildlife unit created after today's amazing discovery.
Humph!
Excuse me?
Humph, please call me Humph!
Ranger...Humphrey Littleton?
That's right mate.
So er...Humph tell us how you made this discovery?

 

[Timbo]

Well yer see it was like this mate. There I was sitting in me dingie in the reeds just off Fleet Dyke and I 'ears it.
Hears what?
Well first I smelt it...but then I 'ears it. Bloomin awful it was...smelt worse than an old man's privvy carpet it did. And then I 'eard it, started like a little mozzy and ended like a big raspberry.
What was it.
fartin Camel wanit!

[Timbo]

You mean to say a camel broke wind in the reeds beside your boat and you could smell it and hear it but you couldn't see it?
Ah well you see it's a rare species. Some bugger's been shipping 'em into the Broads from Riyadh.

But surely you could see it?

Nah mate it was camelflaged!

 

Back with Ranger Humph Littleton of the Broads Authority's Camel Protection Unit after some music.

[BroadScot]

Nae wunder this forum is changin supplier, its honking wi camel dung ! Phew! 

[BroadScot]

1 minute ago, Timbo said:

Nah mate it was camelflaged!

[Timbo]

Evening Iain! Weird day today people spotting in Rotherham!

[BroadScot]

Evening Tim, have your Fylingdales recovered from last night? 

[Timbo]

Welcome back...that was the Festering Saws with a track from their new album 'This Might Sting a Bit'!

 

Joining us on this special programme tonight is Ranger Humph Littleton of the Broads Authority's Camel Protection Unit.

[Timbo]

All I can say about Rotherham...it's amazing what you see when you aint got a gun! Moustaches are back in fashion it seems. Even one or two of the blokes had em too!

[Timbo]

So you smelled it, you heard it, but you didn't see it. So how do you know it was a camel? How many humps has it got?

Cor blimey mate yew don't wanna 'ang about if one of these little buggers as got the hump. Man eaters they are!
Man eaters?

Oh yes mate! Native to Riyadh is your man eating farting camel.

[BroadScot]

Would that be one lump or two?

[Timbo]

So how are they getting here?
Oh that's easy mate some bugger's smuggling 'em in a suitcase. Fly in from a hotel in Riyadh looking like Lawrence of Arabia, all windswept and interesting, suitcase full of your farting camels, hires a boat and releases 'em into the wild.

[BroadScot]

Just now, BroadScot said:

Would that be one lump or two?

Sorry nurse its this new hospital radio station, it wid give you the hump! Says I popping my pills! 

[Timbo]

Just opening a bottle of Reserva 2011 Iain...I've earned it today!

 

[Timbo]

But they are man eating you say?
Oh yeah..drops it's guts, bakes the old air biscuit to make room it does.
But what about the public? How should they protect themselves?

Ah well sir the Broads Authority have plans, sir!
I thought they might have!

 

More from Joseph Locke now and the Sheik of Araby.

[riyadhcrew]

Write it all down Tim. I will put up the money to print and publish it and we'll both make a fortune.

[JanetAnne]

I'd have a copy!

[BroadScot]

4 minutes ago, Timbo said:

So how are they getting here?
Oh that's easy mate some bugger's smuggling 'em in a suitcase. Fly in from a hotel in Riyadh looking like Lawrence of Arabia, all windswept and interesting, suitcase full of your farting camels, hires a boat and releases 'em into the wild.

Eric, did that, Eric Morecombe after he had dun a show oot there ye ken. 

[Timbo]

2 minutes ago, riyadhcrew said:

we'll both make a fortune

or get committed?

[BroadScot]

1 minute ago, JanetAnne said:

I'd have a copy!

A talking boat smoking Camels? Methinks your needing yer exhaust system checked oot !

[Timbo]

perhaps for forum funds? I might have to have a word with my good friend Dreeko and see if we can make a proper radio recording, or an animation.

[BroadScot]

15 minutes ago, Timbo said:

Evening Iain! Weird day today people spotting in Rotherham!

They awe look white there wi flour oan their faces Tim !

[Timbo]

1 minute ago, BroadScot said:

They awe look white there wi flour oan their faces Tim !

I don't think there were enough 'bits' between em to make a face!

[Timbo]

Welcome back I'm here with Ranger Humph Littleton of the Broads Authority's Camel Protection Unit and we are discussing what measures the Broads Authority will be taking to protect the public from the recently discovered Man Eating farting Camels.