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Following the Bank of England warning that the middle classes will be “hollowed out” by the move to automate many jobs, a leading Silicon Valley technology company today announced that the first candidates will be News Readers. A computer-based system equipped with sampled speech and CGI head and body shots will be released for commercial sale in early 2017. Attributes such as smugness, incredulity, political bias, liberal hand-wringing and obsequiousness, the latter essential for Royal correspondents, can be digitally programmed. Other features such as the Laura Kuenssberg sneer, the Robert Peston warble and the Fiona Bruce raised eyebrow and head-wobble will be available as additional cost options.



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