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LondonRascal

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1 hour ago, LondonRascal said:

“Yesterday during the height of the rough seas I experienced something I have never had before: An anxiety attack. 

I went from being rational and fine and on the helm to no use whatsoever and found myself unable to focus. I ended up alone in my cabin feeling pretty helpless. It was not so much a fear, more something that I had no control over and the feeling, sound and motion in such seas  I’d never been in before that kept on and on and worse my reaction to this was to almost shut down. 

As time went on I began to feel better and was able once off the coast of Folkestone to regain some normality and assist as we came into Dover. 

It’s a hard thing to admit and now deal with when you experience such and have little control over it. The thing was it breads itself. So then you fear another episode which causes you to turn into a spiral of worry and guilt - as if you are letting the side down (and then you get pressure on your shoulders not to) - not from other people but your own self. 

The fact the seas were to be as bad as yesterday to begin and as we had another experienced crew member joining the boat at Dover, I took the decision after talking to all involved to either leave the boat and wait for calmer weather which I would do or should the crew feel able and happy to go on I would be happy to trust them in the care of the boat but I would not be joining them on this leg.

Been out myself today Robin so I am on catch up but I saw your Facebook post just as I was setting off, if I am repeating anything already said sorry.

However, firstly you haven't let anyone down and need feel any guilt, you are making this incredible journey for yourself no-one else and just like the troubles you already have had along it this is just one more issue that needs rectifying.

It's blatantly obvious you have friends who care and want to help out too, there is no reason to feel you are putting them out or letting them down they are there in their own time not through any feelings of necessity purely feelings of friendship and help.

You also have many online 'friends' this thread in itself is testament to that who wish you all the best, many of which you have helped along the way either in person or through your blogs so as I previously said there is no reason for feelings of guilt or failure, you are among friends.

It's also worth remembering that any anxiety attack does not mean that it will happen again, and whilst you will naturally worry it  may reoccur it dies not change the fact it most probably won't.

However there is help available out there for it and although I won't insult your intelligence by writing what is easily available I will say should you choose to seek help to stop it reoccurring, CBT training is exceptionally helpful from my experience.

Hope that wasn't too much of a ramble, it seemed an epic post worthy of your own lengthy rants.

Chin up son

 

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Training is a useful word there Jay. Griff and Howard add combat at sea type training to their obvious personal qualities, training can give you that bit of distance from your feelings which can really pay off. That's not to say that you don't feel things after the event, but just that you go into coping mode at the time.

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It is no wonder you had a wobble Robin, just think how much has gone on and changed for you in the space of a few months. It was your processor saying whoa old chap lets just take a bit of time to catch up. Try not to feel bad, your crew would not want that, they really care for you and so do us forum folk and that's the only lesson to take from  from all of this, we want the best for you.

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16 minutes ago, Paul said:

Apparently it was not a case of couldn't. but wouldn't because of traffic volume. 

If that is the case its annoying but a lot better than mechanical failure.

I could crew tomorrow, but I'm sure there will be plenty already in line

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10 minutes ago, 40something said:

If that is the case its annoying but a lot better than mechanical failure.

I could crew tomorrow, but I'm sure there will be plenty already in line

If I am right the latest time the bridge could be lifted was 16.15 and it appeared they were there for/or before that time.

So who decides that 'because of traffic' they can decide not to open?

Don't seem right to me. 'Jobsworths?!

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3 minutes ago, Happy said:

If I am right the latest time the bridge could be lifted was 16.15 and it appeared they were there for/or before that time.

So who decides that 'because of traffic' they can decide not to open?

Don't seem right to me. 'Jobsworths?!

It,s not one bridge, it,s two ,and trust me the a47 backs up ,without the bridge, they state that it won,t open in rush hour in the port guide.,sad in this case but it is what it is.

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Although I'm sad for Robin that he hasn't been able to tuck Independence into her own bed tonight, I'm really gutted for the rest of the crew. Robin has toiled and suffered but at least he's done it to get his own pride and joy back to Norfolk. He's been delayed by a day that's all. The other lads have had to say goodbye before the job was done, imagine the triumph of turning into new moorings salty and weary after this adventure of adventures.

It doesn't diminish their achievement at all but I bet they wish they were there when Brundall received her newest (and probably most pampered) tenant. Well done all of you, you're some set of lads doing that for a friend. I'll be looking out for Independence in August. I think I read that she's berthed away from the river but she's so big maybe I'll spot her from the top helm of a Faircraft Loynes dual steer.

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