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Signing Off And Leaving


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I've used the term, argument for argument's sakes and I stand by that, it does seem to be a recent and regrettable phenomenon on NBN. A verbal game of chess for some? I can quite understand it if this is a factor in Richard's decision to leave the forum. I do think that on some topics Richard has been bullied by some. Such a shame as he has so much to share with us all.

Take a break, Richard, ignore the trolls, you'll be welcome back.

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10 hours ago, kadensa said:

There would be a lot less conflict if people disabused themselves of the idea that posting on an internet forum is like having a discussion with friends when it is far more akin to getting on a soapbox at Speaker's Corner.

Sorry Kadensa but I don't agree. The soap box is predominately a one way communication, where even the frostiest forum is two way, and if a member (not necessarily you Ricardo) cannot accept that other people have differing views, methods or attitudes, then that person really has no place on any forum except one of their own creation. (No, that wasn't aimed at anybody in particular either.) 

I frequently find that whilst agreeing with what someone says on a forum, I strongly disagree with the way they say it, or even sometimes that it has been said at all. I would suggest that the "Ricardo situation" comes very much under this heading. I agreed with much of what he said but would find his actual posts rather confrontational. I would tend not to reply to such posts. Other members would however rise to such confrontation, and a somewhat less than constructive exchange would follow.

There is nothing to be gained by apportioning blame to anyone but perhaps loosing such a knowledgeable person might make each of us look to our own style of posting and perhaps make us re-consider the tone of our replies.

 

... Maybe Kadensa, that WAS a soap box reply! :)

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To be fair Peter I haven't seen much bullying on here. I have witnessed some staunch defence of Robin's right to do things his way. As the saying goes "if you cannot stand the heat, keep out of the kitchen" or learn to play nicely.

We all have differing views and should all be allowed to express them within the terms of service, but it doesn't mean any of them are more important than others, or more correct, however the constant questioning of the same individuals viewpoint is quite close to bullying, certainly could feel like harassment.

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I agree with MM’s analysis of what went wrong. It’s a tone rather than content issue so very often when threads go wonky.

I am also aware that thinking all day over a post demonstrates real discomfort, which isn’t good. Maybe there is a way to learn from the situation and take away something positive.

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The trouble with any form of "electronic" communication is that you miss all the subtle nuances such as tone of voice, facial expression , "body language" and the rest  that you would normally have when talking face to face, and which humans have evolved over thousands of years to recognise.  You also lose the ability to immediately follow up on any misunderstanding of or ambiguity in the message. 

When I  was  working,  colleagues would, from time to time. get involved in e-mail  "wars" with people in other departments. If left to themselves, these would fester. and/or escalate. When investigated, these were often caused by misunderstanding, often over trivial points,  for the reasons I outline above.  When the individuals concerned were in my group, I would insist that they either sit with the person with whom they were feuding and resolve their issues or, if this was not possible, pick up the phone and talk.  I am sure this didn't make me popular but it certainly avoided a lot of conflict.

Sadly, none of this is possible on a forum like this so it behoves all of us to be as clear as possible when posting,  to try and see things from the perspective of people who will be reading our posts and to not take things too seriously when you see something that you interpret as a direct threat or criticism. Chances are, it was not meant.  Also please try to restrain yourself from posting whilst deep in your cups.  In vino veritas is all very well, but people can find your version of the truth extremely hurtful.

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4 minutes ago, Gracie said:

Never make promises when you're happy

Never reply when you're angry

Never decide when you're sad

..............

Just thought if we're being all deep and meaningful, I'd throw that into the mix :default_biggrin:

Grace

Never truer words said or typed darlin

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blimey go to hospital for a few days and the gods dump snow everywhere and Ricardo leaves?

I think on the whole I would prefer he stayed as 75% of his postd are interesting the ramainder appear a little overly confrontational but I suspect thats got more to do with my interpretation of his written word ....

As for bullying here? I havn't seen any .... there are fothright, imovable views which no amount of debate will ever reconcile but thats what social media is.

Personally Ricardo I would have preferred you took a posting break to recover your equilibrium and then come back in when inevitably some topic will get steam blowing out of your ears.

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9 hours ago, smellyloo said:

blimey go to hospital for a few days and the gods dump snow everywhere and Ricardo leaves?

I think on the whole I would prefer he stayed as 75% of his postd are interesting the ramainder appear a little overly confrontational but I suspect thats got more to do with my interpretation of his written word ....

As for bullying here? I havn't seen any .... there are fothright, imovable views which no amount of debate will ever reconcile but thats what social media is.

Personally Ricardo I would have preferred you took a posting break to recover your equilibrium and then come back in when inevitably some topic will get steam blowing out of your ears.

Hope your hospital stay was for the positive.

As for the rest of your comments, as a relatively new member I totally agree. :default_biggrin:

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