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Malanka

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Off to Womack Dyke:

Morning was off to bit of a mixed bag of a start, early rain then sun. The issue we have with the sunny part is the sides and back to the Wheelhouse are canvases, the front of course being the windscreen. What this means is if it’s sunny then the “greenhouse effect” kicks in and it gets very warm very rapidly. Even in light cloudy weather it gets warm quite quickly.

 

Early morning sun

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We had all day to go not very far so we planned to pootle into Wroxham, turn round using Malanka’s party piece then a little more pootling into Ranworth on the way to Womack Dyke to ensure all batteries were recharged.

So as the morning improved, we had the top down and chug chugged our way into Wroxham, the water was so sparkly I had to put on the sunnies and contemplated removing my top, this is a thing not to be contemplated lightly as of course it ruins the perfectly developed, boater, trucker, sales person tan, I have developed over quite a few years now.

After objections from both human crew members, both Aireboys were unable to decide, the chest stayed resolutely covered up and sun screen was applied to the fleshy bits on display (arms face and neck), lovely trip into Wroxham being passed by quite a few large cruisers all of which seemed to be in a terrible rush to get to the dead end that is Wroxham Bridge. I have no idea why anyone would want to rush two abreast to bust a gut to get past little old us but hey ho, “there’s nowt so ***** as folk”. I did remark to a couple that “they did realise it’s a dead end Yes” and that I’d see them in a couple of minutes. Fiona relieved me of my ignorance and pointed out these boats could utilise NBD’s yard to moor. Still, it’s a rush to get to shopping when on holiday?. Wonders never cease to amaze me.  Arriving at the gap just before the waterside café I deployed Malanka’s party piece which is hard over to the left chug along and spin on the spot until facing the way you were coming, then straighten out and slowly head in the opposite direction of to Ranworth. It was at this point that we kind of worked out that deciding to not stop at Wroxham meant that we either had a long walk to Ludham village when we got to the dyke or we should stop and get some ketchup along the way as this morning’s breakfast used the last. It would also be a good opportunity to come by some fish bait (sweetcorn). I only use sweetcorn now and enjoy the ease and lack of hand washing and associated smell, OK I do get to catch more slimy fish that way but swings and roundabouts in all things.

We pootled to Ranworth in search of sweetcorn and ketchup, of course this being 11:30 the man from mooring control he say no way jose. There were numerous boats and dayboats jostling for position and some others mud weighting watching the mayhem unfolding before them. Sneaky me spied the reserved for Boat trip white marked quay heading down the right hand side, “right that’s where we are going Justin, a quick dust off (step off no mooring) manoeuvre whilst you dash off to the store”. “Ok no worries let me get my shoes on”, what a nice young man I thought to myself. With the second deployment of the party piece, we reversed all the way down the dyke and gently kissed the reserved quay heading and Justin deftly alighted and headed to the store. The more than bemused look on the faces of some of the folks reading the boat trip sandwich board was an amusement. “I’m not getting on that” must have been in their minds, if not blurted out as we slid gently up to the spot they were expecting the nature tour to leave from.

We left the spot to circle with the mayhem once more as it was a tad windy to remain in place. When I saw Justin returning with his prizes in his hand (he is so nice and thoughtful he had bought two cans of sweetcorn) we repeated the fancy pants reversing manoeuvres and picked him up and we were once more Womak dyke bound.

We had a lovely nice “trosh” along in the 6mph section to recharge the batteries, (Troshing= Boating Verb meaning to frolic very lively like, in wind and tide so as to handsomely enjoy oneself). We duly arrived at the wild mooring, it was vacant, and I must say a little overgrown, the tricky away from the bank breeze, presented a few issues however we moored up sharpish like and then checked the watch. Is it beer O’clock yet? Time was 12:20 time for a beer and a sit down to more relaxing.

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Over the course of the next few hours, quite a few boats slowed as they passed in the vain hope we were about to leave, however as the afternoon turned into early evening and the doggies had both had a swim, it was time for the Chardonnay with which I most elegantly saluted Ray as he passed us for the tenth time. (ok it was two but ten sounded better in the context of the story).

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Tomorrow dramatic decision to “just go” and we were off to Pyes Mill a day early, bit of a boo boo with the exhaust and some smokey bilge exhaust water but such is wooden boating..

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Tomorrow dramatic decision to “just go” and we were off to Pyes Mill a day early, bit of a boo boo with the exhaust and some smokey bilge exhaust water but such is wooden boating..

To all those wooden boaty types at the meet up this weekend, here is the next bit, patience. I was too busy panicking about engines and transmissions to focus on writing this. Those of you not there that’s a bit later (why we had no engine in boat and no working transmission).

However for now...

We awoke to cool temperatures and grey skies with an overlay of drizzly rain. We had planned to pootle up to Coltishal, but as I lay awake listening to the ducks, I checked low water at Gt Yarmouth again and thought “let’s use a rainy day to do the travel to the southern Broads”. I quickly discussed with the team the merits of said last minute choice, which mainly consisted of having to immediately get out of bed and set off as it was 06:50 and low water was in a couple of hours. Agreement reached, doggies breakfasted and ablutions completed, we cast off and set off for the Southern Broads. The rain meant that we really needed to get there at low water or we would have to take top down and get WET as we drove along.  Don’t like doing that in the fast moving water of Gt Yarmouth, too dangerous!

The rain was intermittent and the inside of the wheelhouse started to steam up a little, previously we had employed FOG Ex in the anti misting role, however a few years ago I was gifted a two speed RV fan from a friend / colleague when I was working in San Diego. Roger had put this onto a lovely wooden plinth, and it now has a fully operating dash switch as we used the redundant wiper socket to power the fan. On high speed this thing goes like the clappers and clears the windscreen from a standing start, on low speed it throws sufficient new air across the screen to keep it clear if clear already.  You don’t need warm air to clear the screen just air with lower moisture content and as soon as it is moving that happens.

I wont describe the journey down the Bure other than to say we weren’t laving much wash but we were troshing.

As we were approaching the section of river just above Marina Quays I had already noticed the increased bilge frequency when Fiona said it was rather smokey in the cabin and it smelled of diesel. My immediate reaction was Oh Bother dash, mainly because as many of you will know we  have already had a boat fire which is never a pleasant experience, doubly so when moving.

Quick check showed why, the flexible high-pressure hose between engine and exhaust pipe had a thumb sized hole in it. Slap bang in the middle pointing directly upwards towards the boards above (under the salon setee), directly in front of it is our knicker drawer, to the right is the smart charger and the inverter, neither of which is pre- disposed to being soaked.

The knicker drawer was already full of soot covered diesel smelling water and the contents were black. Quick decision time was required as we were approaching Yarmouth, so it was emergency stop, moor up, fix, and get on our way. Easy they say…. lol   

The tide was of course running in our favour (a bit) as we had timed the passage to perfection and were bang on low water so we pulled over to the side and used the current to slip us in. Part one sorted.

Part two, phone Phil and ask how best to fix it, “Gaffer tape” he said. We have gaffer tape and so we dried the pipe, stuffed the exploded out bits of pipe back in the hole and wound and wound and wound. The seals at either end of the winding were tight with no seepage, so it was with a little trepidation I started the engine and checked for leaks. No smoke, no water, no leaks, woo hoo, go gaffer tape.

Later in the week i.e. Tomorrow we would go to Brundall and Peachments so I could get some jubilee clips to make it even more secure.           

We had no leaks, a knicker drawer with our weeks supply of knickers in it requiring a severe washing regime to remove the exhaust smutt and diesel stink. Fiona hates having underwear hanging from the boat which was now inevitable, such is life.

Taking stock of no knickers, leaky exhaust, pouring down with rain. OK time to set off to Pyes Mill once more and carry on.

We took it a little easy across Breydon bearing in mind we already had no knickers for the rest of the week and I did not want Fiona to think I was trying to gas her again.

We duly arrived at the entrance to the Chet and quickly navigated the swirly bit right at the entrance that tries to push you over to the big metal quay heading. There wasn’t a boat in sight so we set revolutions for tickover and a pootlin we went. I’m not a fan of what has been don to the Chet, the reeds are overgrown, and the narrow nature of the river is accentuated by the “closed in” feel, how it must feel to do that river in a Bermuda or Gem is not something I wish to experience. Being a centre-steer Woodie our steering position is high up, it really has to be if you’re to keep track of the pointy bit and the flat bit 20 feet behind you.

More pootling and then I spotted a huge big white thing heading our way, I could only see the driver not the boat as the head was sticking out up above the level of the reeds, following 50 and 100m behind the huge white behemoth were two rather natty looking sailing dinghies, one of which had obviously given up and the other was still trying to sail out of the Chet. The behemoth negotiated the corner actually quite skilfully with minimum disturbance to the reeds, a little at the flat bit was inevitable (radius of curve length of boat and all that). We let the behemoth come further round the corner and we engaged pootle speed and headed round the corner ourselves, we could easily see the distance to the corner the two dinghies had but I could see them, but they of course could not see me. Reaction of first dinghy’s skipper to us appearing round the corner was to yell at the top of his voice “watch out there’s a boat coming” yes Sherlock in another twenty seconds or so yes they were, and we are fully under control and know what we are doing, but the second dinghy had stopped and engaged the propeller so were under full and even control and had by now seen us too. The first dinghy was the one still using wind power exclusively, and doing a fine job of it too.

Why anyone feels the need to potentially panic new skippers by yelling in panicked tones that “watch out another boat is coming” I’m not sure, and if it’s not a new skipper, why yell in a panicked tone at all. Oh well another conundrum for another day. After we had moved a little further round the corner there was a bight yellow boat with its bow embedded a good ten feet into the reeds, “yes” the flustered looking skipper yelled at us of course I stopped here (on the absolute apex of the bend) on purpose to let boats pass”, as if we should have waited for him to extricate his boat from the reeds and then carry on regardless. I now suspect the effect the yelling of the first dinghy’s skipper had had on this hire boat skipper was there for all to see. If not, then sticking your pointy bit into the reeds and your flat bit 25 feet out across the narrowest of rivers does beg some fundamental questions as to why anyone would think that an appropriate course of action.

 

We duly pootled a bit more and arrived at Pyes Mill, we moored up just in time for the warmer weather to emerge at the same time as the heavens opened. Walking into town would have to wait.

 

During a break in the warm wet sauna that was Lodden that day, I walked into town to get some supplies and to see if I could get some Jubilee clips to help the gaffer tape repair.

Yes to the comestibles but a sound no to Jubilees of the right size, I bought three of the biggest but alas they were 2 cm short.

Later the barbecue of hot and spicy chicken thighs and some lovely huge pork ribs in Chinese marinade were sizzling. There was a family debate going on, “do you want the brolley”, “that clouds going to get there before you’re finished”, “is it ready yet” etc, anyway the rain stayed away until we had eaten, the chicken and pork were lovely, the prosecco was lovely too, Arial was up, love island was watched then off to Bedfordshire. Another good day doing not very much.

 

Tomorrow we were off to Brudall and the forecast was for sun, sun, and more sun. It didn’t disappoint.

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Not really total journey time on Sunday was nearly 9 hours. Which considering we had a considerable tide with us all the way apart from 1 mile on Breydon isn’t that swift at all. Certainly didn’t use any diesel to speak of, going along on minimal revs with the tide is fun but the lack of steerage in certain circumstances is a bit dodgy. 

The height under the bridges in Gt Yarmouth decreased two feet in the short time it took us to cross. 8 mph most of the way across on 1050 rpm. Dropped to 6.5 with the last bit of tide against.

M

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The day started off with the greenhouse/ wheelhouse very quickly becoming unbearably warm, which prompts the woofs to become restless so as a consequence I am soon wandering about Pyes Mill in the very bright VERY early morning sunshine, in a state of shorts Commando, scruffy bed hair, no contact lenses, jumper no T shirt, poo bags in pocket squinting to determine where the log that is Monty and Boris’s morning deposits ends and the clump of brown grass cuttings starts. Unable to determine the border with any certainty I decided “double-bagger“and, used both hands. I then sauntered lazily over to the poo bin and made a deposit of my own. Upon our return twelve paws dripping in the morning dew that had not yet had the opportunity to evaporate in the increasingly warm sun jumped all over Fiona and left dirty wet paw marks on our Duvet.

This morning’s breakfast was to be a lighter affair due to the fact that later we had booked a table at the Water’s Edge in Brammerton. Our trip to Brundall was to be steppingstone both to The evenings mooring and also to Thorpe where we intended to pootle through as neither Justin Nor Fiona had ever been under the bridges and into Thorpe before.

So first order of the day was put some pants on, then make a cup of tea, before retiring to the heads for the usual ablutions.

Having washed everything, primped and primed the hair with “product” (yes I am a modern man), and made sure the errant old man eyebrows were removed, it was time to set forth to Brundall via the outflowing river Chet. There were no more boats with their bows in the reeds, shouty pyjama danglers, huge fly bridge behemoths, or in fact anything other than wildlife and the steady chug, chug, chug, of the trusty  (ahem) 3.8L BMC.

Of course it was very windy when we emerged onto the Yare, after the gentle breeze of the Chet the howling maniacal gusts were quite a surprise. The sun however was still shining so we chugged our way up to Brundall, where we planned to have a quick water refill and a pump-out for the forward head.

I left the woofs introducing themselves to the guy from Brooms who was a bit new and I quick Marched over to Pechments. There had been some rain overnight so the intense sun now was taking the humidity to quite unacceptably high levels and all the road puddles were steaming. After the customary wait for Norfolk time after I rang the Bell the Peachments man couldn’t have been more helpful, here’s what we go which one ya want….Easy as Peaches ( See what I did there ??)

 

Back to the boat which was now moved onto the front mooring, I had moored on the side as the wind and tide were going to make a side on very tricky so I just avoided it altogether. The movement to the front mooring was achieved under Justin’s supervision and used ropes. This move to the front meant that I didn’t want to waste time on the jubilee clips straight away. We had after all crossed Breydon the previous morning without difficulties, so it was reverse away from the mooring turn in reverse to face up-river and off to Thorpe we set.

We dropped the screens and in we went to the wonder of Both Justin and Fiona to the majesty that is Thorpe in the Sun.

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The pub looked super enticing but we had places to be.

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Cloudless sky and lovely and warm.. Doesn't get better than this.

 

More to come on the meal in the Waters Edge later. (was stupendously good too by the way)

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  • 1 year later...

OK welcome back folks, quite a few things have happened since I penned the last tale (poetic license for typing). One big one most of you will be aware of is that Malanka has had a couple of issues of a wood rotting nature. We have found sh#t tons of knot filled pine planking in the hull, the other word for that is not printable. Never having requested, or authorised anyone to install PINE in Malanka's hull, this came as somewhat of a surprise.  

Anyway that's enough of that it's in the past. We are now having all hull work being done using Utile, which is a mahogany substitute. Utile has a density of 660kg/m3. Pine on the other hand has a density of 480kg/m3. All this wood talk basically means that weight for weight every plank of pine replaced with Utile will increase the weight of the boat by 28% of the weight of the whole plank. In other words a lot. We are not removing all the pine planks just yet, as we want to phase that in over time, however it is the long term plan. No planks anywhere near the water will be left pine, just some of the upper hull planks. (for now).

All of this preamble is just to set the scene for boat envy of the highest order, Malanka has been in the workshop for almost a whole year. As such we missed boating and wanted to go and have some floaty fun. 

MARTHAM boats were the chosen source of said June 2022 boaty fun, and a silver jubilee was the chosen vessel. I was intending to be the skipper with my youngest son as an all week participant, and my oldest son and long term partner as a starting weekend and a few days after participant, leaving on Tuesday. Along with us was going to be Monty the Airedale, Boris was at home recovering from TPLO surgery on his right rear knee. Fiona was to be his nurse, so first week after surgery we went boating yeah.. wooo hooo..... 

Now here comes the funny part, I don't really remember much about the holiday, pick up was fun, just like back in the day, even the same person as I met when I was 20 something. Disturbingly the Silver Jubilee didn't handle as well as I remember, maybe due to the old engine being replaced with a modern high reving thing.   We are spoiled in Malanka, as the 3.8L common rail MAFF approved diesel engine, has torque to burn at tickover, and a huge rudder and prop mated to it.

Best fun of course is Potter bridge on a very windy day, on a 43ft long behemoth of the 1960's. We had inches to spare which made me wish we were on Malanka even more. To give her the props she deserved The Silver Jubilees are fine boats. Destination Womack and the Kings Arms, we dropped off the Martham Pilot and plodded off to Womack, needless to say the Mooring was quite busy, but the old woody to the rescue, we slotted her tiny little bottom into a slightly less than 12ft wide space....  

Meal in the pub was super as always, Monty made many new friends including 4 beautiful Italian Spinonies, their lovely Mum and Dad, and one  wire haired German Pointer (yes all one mad group that Monty fell instantly in love with). Upon returning to the boat in great spirits, and after some mildly competitive rounds of Uno, we were soon heading off to Bedfordshire. Halfway through the night I found myself doing something I then continued to do, every few hours, for the remainder of the holiday. Go for a wee... Settling back into bed shivering I put the chilled feeling down to the cabin temperature which was cool. Erm I may have been just a little mistaken..

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We woke to clouds and sun, how unusual for Norfolk in June we thought. Target destination for the day was going to be Belaugh Parish mooring. A beautiful spot half way up the river to Coltishall, and one of our favourites, in which to sit, soak up the sun and watch the world go by. We plodded slowly towards Wroxham hoping the light drizzle wouldn't decide to have a spurt and turn, in earnest, into full blown rain. It did.

We stopped in Wroxham Broad to drop the top and screens, as this is not something to do on the move with an inexperienced crew (on this boat). Top and screens duly store, Musto coat on, cap on and grim rain face on we headed to the bridge. We werene excited as we neared our destination as he loves to swim and fetch balls there.

 

More to come

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So pleased your back and posting funny old thing is, although we are on line it's like missing a good friend. 

Old Marge and myself hope Malanka is soon providing your accommodation and eye candy for everyone else on the Broads. When we see her we will know about your dedication and determination to make her right. 

 

All we can say is Robert did us a good job.

It is great to hear from you..

Kindest Regards Marge and Parge 

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2 hours ago, MargeandParge said:

So pleased your back and posting funny old thing is, although we are on line it's like missing a good friend. 

O

We have been dealing with other “non boat” issues however, we are good to go now.

Thank you for your words 

 

Martin and Fiona 

 

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Ok here we go.

 

We passed under the bridge without fuss fanfare or anyone really watching, which appealed to me hugely, as the last time I did the bridge Robert was towing Malanka back under the bridge and up to Stalham. The video is fun including the use of the odd swear word.

This time we did the bridge and headed up the river, our intended location for the evening was Belaugh Parish Staithe. We were confident there wouldn't be any issues as it was before fishing season. Belaugh is one of those locations which is wonderful for sitting and watching, the sun sets beautifully there! When of course it's out. It also is one of those locations where certain fisherfolk like to occupy the whole of the frontage. Having had a few such encounters in the past, including one in which broads beat were involved, we have now developed a simple strategy, we pootle slowly past and do it slowly enough to inform anyone currently fishing, usually two or three to be fair, that we will be returning in twenty minutes or so and will be mooring up for the evening. This gives the fisherfolk ample time to move their chairs and other extended paraphernalia to one end, or the other of the location. We have only had one set of fisherfolk, who after employing this strategy had not moved a single magot. In these circumstances we have found that 11 tons beats keep net any and all days of the week. One fun aspect of this location is that early doors the next morning, one will be awoken by huffing puffing and various inflatory noises as the inflatable paddle board and canoe folks turn up to launch their craft. This is often fun to witness, and a "thing" we have been considering ourselves. 

The under 50 portion of the crew went for a walk in the lite drizzle and I sat down in the cockpit, carefully positioned to avoid the drips and draughty drizzle coming in through the huge air vents.

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Later the same evening I donned suitable attire to cook our tea.....

 

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Note the colour match to the T shirt...

Next morning we were heading back to Salhouse Beach for a dog swim, and for the kids to go for a pint. Fortunately for all the sun would be out a little later, but we intended to stop in Wroxham for some chips and fish, during that part of the day it rained. When I've finished copying the photo files I will write that bit. Having a job 100 miles from home means midweek I'm knackered. Its also tax time for small business owners so I'll get back to this soon.

 

Oh we went to see Malanka this weekend too, had a super catch up with Robert, we were very impressed with progress and hopefully WILL be making the wooden boat show in August......Not sure how much earlier we will be floating, however this being her 70th year, we will be getting new 1953/2023 T shirts......  

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi All, been rather busy with work the past couple of weeks, VAT paid, dividends paid, tax paid, so here we are.

 

We were awoken from our sleep to a slight drizzle with some blue bits peeking through here and there. By the time dog was walked (Monty has a doggie friend here now), breakfast of champions was delivered by yours truly to the under thirties. This delight consists of the usual Norfolk holiday fare of various porcine products, copious volumes of tea, toast with local butter and some preserves of choice. All washed down with even more tea.   

We cast off the wooden behemoth and settled in for a steady pootle down to Wroxhan, where we intended to stay for a Kens (fish and chip lunch). The weather was steadily improving in the typical Norfolk way and we soon dropped the canopy, cockpit sides, and enjoyed the June sun warming our bones. It was also drying the soggy footwear from the previous days escapades. Christian was wearing a pair of Dads (that's me) Sketchers as his footwear was still dripping. Well dripping and also gently steaming in the sun, soon the aroma of steaming wet footwear was quite apparent. Such is life...At least I thought we weren't pootling along with various lingerie options dangling from every horizontal surface.. Always makes me smile that one...

 

Well Kens was up to their usual standard so it was off to Salhouse for a swim, well, actually a doggie swim but hey poetic license folks. 

I will add some photos and a video when my computer joins the 21st century ...oh dear.... 

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  • 3 months later...

Ok folks to draw this tale to a close only a year late. Please refer to the entries in  Malanga/ Silver Jubilee 1 Cruisin ( no G) as this contains the details of the events of Wednesday! 
 

Basically I had a few things happen, ended up in hospital (James Paget) many things stopped working ( kidneys and so on), morphine at the roadside was eventful to say the least, hugely high temperature, low potassium. Anyway enough of that.

Massive thanks to the guys at James Paget, the ambulance guys and my Son Justin for being there for me and returning Silver Jubilee 1 back to Martham single handed. 
 

To make this complete up to Martham with Malanka is now a MUST DO!! 
 

Thanks Everyone 

 

Martin 

 

new photos in never ending story tomorrow!!! 

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