Drunks

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Wussername said:

Yep. Makes me sad when I haven't got any.

How does it go ?: a well balanced person has a glass in each hand.

[Vaughan]

My old friend Pete Sabberton used to say, "What's this drink problem? I drink - I fall over - it's no problem!"

If my father felt a bit "under the weather", he would always say that he must have been drinking out of a damp glass.

[Gracie]

I think it's probably safe to say you know if you've had too much to drink when you walk across the dance floor to the bar and you win first prize in the dance competition. Also if you can lay on the floor without holding on, you haven't had enough

Grace

[Chelsea14Ian]

Night fever night fever 

[Smoggy]

Dear Sir

I recently saw your topic titled "drunks" and would like to apply for the job, can you please send me an application form.

Yours sincerely

A drunk!

[Timbo]

1 hour ago, Smoggy said:

Dear Sir

I recently saw your topic titled "drunks" and would like to apply for the job, can you please send me an application form.

Yours sincerely

A drunk!

Dear Sir,

We are pleased to offer you the position as advertised, and thank you for your donation. Please be available to take up your seat, Monday Morning ready to enter the House for the first debate at 8:30 am. Please arrive promptly and bring your own traffic cone.

Yours
Deputy Speaker
House of Commons

 

[MauriceMynah]

 Dammit, I was just replying to the application myself. :)

[Chelsea14Ian]

46 minutes ago, MauriceMynah said:

 Dammit, I was just replying to the application myself. :)

Don't .worry Maurice there's  a few spaces available in the house of Lords.

[JennyMorgan]

What folk get up to in the privacy of their own cabin is none of my business and I accept that there is a culture of boating and boozing, indeed I had one or two myself today. However, when a person's boozing involves dragging volunteer lifeboat crews away from their families then eyebrows will surely, and justifiably rise! 

A bottle of plonk, a warm evening, a quiet mooring, a fishing rod in hand, bliss.

[JennyMorgan]

37 minutes ago, Chelsea14Ian said:

Don't .worry Maurice there's  a few spaces available in the house of Lords.

When I went to the House of Lords to petition against the Broads Bill my friends and I weren't opposed to a lunchtime sherbet in a boozer across the road from Parliament. It amused me to note that there were speakers in the pub that were connected to The House so that MPs could be summonsed to their sitting.

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said:

When I went to the House of Lords to petition against the Broads Bill my friends and I weren't opposed to a lunchtime sherbet in a boozer across the road from Parliament. It amused me to note that there were speakers in the pub that were connected to The House so that MPs could be summonsed to their sitting.

Someone must have accidentally cut the speaker cable, that would explain why the House is almost empty for most of the time nowadays. 

[MauriceMynah]

28 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said:

However, when a person's boozing involves dragging volunteer lifeboat crews away from their families then eyebrows will surely, and justifiably rise! 

Perfectly correct Peter, I wouldn't argue with that at all,  but my point is that we know far too few details about your OP press release to come to any informed conclusion. Newspapers are far from above leading their readers by implication to inaccurate views. Who actually made the call to the emergency services? Was the caller drunk at the time? Oh there are so many possibilities (including the one the papers implied)

[grendel]

2 hours ago, MauriceMynah said:

 Dammit, I was just replying to the application myself. :)

I am sorry MM as a certified forum idiot, you are now overqualified for the post.

[Timbo]

58 minutes ago, Philosophical said:

Someone must have accidentally cut the speaker cable, that would explain why the House is almost empty for most of the time nowadays. 

I think it's one of the problems of the modern televisual era in that the TV coverage often gives a false impression of what goes on or how things work. My Aunt's brother is an hereditary peer. You often see the Lords looking empty. The reality is that much of the work of the House is done 'in committee' referred to as being 'off the floor'. Depending upon what is going through the Lords at that time or what committee he is sitting on I've known my Aunt's brother put in fourteen hours a day and then some.

Of course there is quite a spot of liquid refreshment to oil the cogs and a few of the cogs stop turning periodically for a snooze...but then you should see the business the nearest bar to an archaeological dig does over lunch and on into the wee small hours! 

[BrundallNavy]

Stag boats are not restricted to just the broads. I witnessed one such boat on the grand union canal yesterday.  12 very drunk males causing utter chaos near Oxford.  

[Timbo]

2 hours ago, brundallNavy said:

Stag boats are not restricted to just the broads. I witnessed one such boat on the grand union canal yesterday.  12 very drunk males causing utter chaos near Oxford.  

They are called 'Professors' or 'students' pretty similar! 

[webntweb]

3 hours ago, brundallNavy said:

Stag boats are not restricted to just the broads. I witnessed one such boat on the grand union canal yesterday.  12 very drunk males causing utter chaos near Oxford.  

The Grand Union doesn't go anywhere near Oxford. Probably the Oxford Canal.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, brundallNavy said:

Stag boats are not restricted to just the broads. I witnessed one such boat on the grand union canal yesterday.  12 very drunk males causing utter chaos near Oxford.  

 that reminds me of this one time 12 of us hired a boat near Oxford, we were so drunk, and we saw these girls on another boat and..... well needless to say chaos ensued

Ooh errr. Sorry 

 

[BrundallNavy]

31 minutes ago, webntweb said:

The Grand Union doesn't go anywhere near Oxford. Probably the Oxford Canal.

Oops got it wrong there. Yes the Oxford 

[SPEEDTRIPLE]

All i`m going to say on this subject is if everybody who got drunk on alcahol, had a mug of tea instead, the problem would`nt exist.

[SPEEDTRIPLE]

That was obviously a lie, as i`m now going to add,  i DON`T smoke, never have, never will, and now, as a result of developing an intolerance to alcahol, i no longer drink, and have`nt done so for about 15 years. As a result of that, i`ve been able to pay for things others always wonder where i get the money from, AND i really do enjoy MANY things in life, simple things too, and guess what, I DON`T NEED TO SMOKE, DRINK, OR TAKE DRUGS TO DO SO.

[JennyMorgan]

4 hours ago, SPEEDTRIPLE said:

All i`m going to say on this subject is if everybody who got drunk on alcahol, had a mug of tea instead, the problem would`nt exist.

Tea, urghhhh! 

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said:

Tea, urghhhh! 

Surely a G&T

[JennyMorgan]

1 hour ago, Jayfire said:

Surely a G&T

Pink or Sloe but tonic, foul!

[Guest]

29 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said:

Pink or Sloe but tonic, foul!

Fair enough, as long as there is gin who cares