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It appears to me that there are a large number of people across all kinds of social media (this included) who have never learned or have lost the ability to debate, if someone posts an opinion contrary to their own the feel attacked !

Sad !

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Every once in a while it is good to take a step back. It may be because there is currently nothing that particularly interests you or or it may be due to a conflict of opinions that tells you it’s time to hold your tongue. Or, as in this case, things on the forum just don’t seem quite right. We have had a lot of change recently, and I suspect there will be more to come, but I hope we have turned a corner and we will see those members that have gone quiet reappear and post again. There is no doubt that to post on social media you need a thick skin and so much can be taken the wrong way or just plainly be misunderstood. Once in a while it is good to clear the air and I think this thread will go a long way to doing that. 

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Yes you are quite right in that a lot seems to have changed for the better in recent times it needed to! Frankly I never had the slightest intention of ever posting again it was only my concern for Gracie plus her persistent attempts to rope me back in that overrode that sentiment. Events of a year ago caused the disappearance of  (in my opinion) several valued members and the forum remains poorer for their loss I believe,  and my anger at that remains. It could all have been handled so much better. It is to be hoped that lessons have been learned and should, God forbid ,a similar situation arise again it  will be dealt with more appropriately.

 

regards,

 

 

Carole

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I`ve said this before but several tears ago, so i`l repeat it. 

One thing i do struggle with is trying to put things into words, to mean what i`m trying to say. Sometimes, i`ve posted things, and people have been a bit offended, but i had no intention to offend, but my choice of words was wrong, it`s something i continue to struggle with, and sometimes, in trying to word a post as correctly as i can, i can take an hour to write a few lines.  Sometimes, it`s taken so long, i`ve lost the idea of what i wanted to say, so deleted the post before posting, sad, but that`s reality for me.  

While i know there are members on here that know i have very strong views on some subjects and have been very quick to say  my opinion, i never hold a grudge or try to make others who i disagree with feel either upset, angry, or unwelcome, and would like others to know, anything i post is only my opinion or view, and NOT meant in offence to any individual.

One example is this post alone has taken me nearly 2 episodes of "Shed and Buried" to compose, and i bet it still may be wrong somewhere?. 

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15 minutes ago, SPEEDTRIPLE said:

One example is this post alone has taken me nearly 2 episodes of "Shed and Buried" to compose, and i bet it still may be wrong somewhere?. 

No ST, I think you have said exactly what you meant to say. Also some years ago I wrote...

Before a person takes offence at something they read on a forum they should think to themselves "Do I honestly believe that this person meant to offend me?"

If the answer is 'No' then to take offence is really just a bit silly. If by any stretch of the imagination the answer is 'Yes' then report the post and do not reply.

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41 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said:

Come back, Strowager, all is forgiven :default_norty:!!

Hi Peter,

Believe it or not, i actually came across him on faceache, which i was extremely surprised about.

Yes, i know what you mean, i used to like Strowie, we often disagreed on things, but he was a decent guy, and one the forum would be better to have back.

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10 hours ago, addicted said:

....Events of a year ago caused the disappearance of  (in my opinion) several valued members and the forum remains poorer for their loss I believe,  and my anger at that remains. It could all have been handled so much better. It is to be hoped that lessons have been learned and should, God forbid ,a similar situation arise again it  will be dealt with more appropriately.

 

:default_icon_clap:

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10 hours ago, SPEEDTRIPLE said:

.....One thing i do struggle with is trying to put things into words, to mean what i`m trying to say. Sometimes, i`ve posted things, and people have been a bit offended, but i had no intention to offend, but my choice of words was wrong, it`s something i continue to struggle with, and sometimes, in trying to word a post as correctly as i can, i can take an hour to write a few lines.  Sometimes, it`s taken so long, i`ve lost the idea of what i wanted to say, so deleted the post before posting, sad, but that`s reality for me.  

So glad it's not just me.

Especially lately....where, as a  grown up, I feel like I'm being treated like a child if I dare to step slightly out of line, I honestly don't know where the line is.

You really shouldn't have to be so thoughtful and cautious about what you post on a forum of like minded individuals.

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it.

Oh....and come back Gracie.

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5 hours ago, SPEEDTRIPLE said:

Hi Peter,

Believe it or not, i actually came across him on faceache, which i was extremely surprised about.

Yes, i know what you mean, i used to like Strowie, we often disagreed on things, but he was a decent guy, and one the forum would be better to have back.

I've similarly met him, had a few good discussions too. He's certainly thought provoking.

Like others I miss Gracie but I do understand why folk take a break. I used to post a great deal on an angling forum until one day I realised that I was going round in circles, answering the same questions albeit from different people or repeating comments in response to similar subjects almost ad nauseum, I ran out of fresh things to say. I suppose that it had become a habit. I still pop in but generally leave it to other folk to comment.  Oh that he'd do the same here!! 

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I can understand that Peter. Recently, a retired emloyee of a company I work for stopped posting and it reached a point where we were all concerned for him.  After a bit of digging we found him perfectly well but taking a break.  He is also a keen angler so to spend more time with his wife and family, he agreed to take a break from 4 forums plus Facebook.  

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I think there's a few levels here.Yes people run out of things to post,therefore stop doing so.In recent months many have joined and some of the long standing members have gone missing.A few months back some posts became a bit personal. I will always stand up for on, some subjects,good open debate and long may it continue.What I don't like is when it gets personal.Some seemed to disagree then attack others who did not share there view.Then throw the toys out of the pram. A lot was posted a few months back about the forum playing a leading role,regarding the broads.Lets have open sometimes heated debates,but do so in a fair and honest way,and don't make it personal. 

We may not need to be reminded,but we all share something in common, our love of boating and the broads. 

Ian

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I always find it quite a hoot when an oldie gets ticked off by an upstart mod.

Unfortunately it's quite difficult for us oldies to keep up with the latest "PC" word or phrase that has suddenly become frowned on.

But please let's look forward to new and exciting new members to engage with and allow those that decide to take a break to enjoy their sojourn  away.

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10 minutes ago, smellyloo said:

Unfortunately it's quite difficult for us oldies to keep up with the latest "PC" word or phrase that has suddenly become frowned on.

How true that is! Only in the last couple of weeks someone was nearly hauled over the coals for using the expression ‘whiter than white’. They were accused of being racist! An innocent expression taken completely out of context. At least in that particular case the accuser had to eat humble pie (can I say that or is it discriminatory in some way?:default_blush:

smellyloo uses the term ‘us oldies’ but, with a few exceptions, I have little idea of how old members are or indeed how long they have been members. 

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10 minutes ago, vanessan said:

How true that is! Only in the last couple of weeks someone was nearly hauled over the coals for using the expression ‘whiter than white’. They were accused of being racist! An innocent expression taken completely out of context. At least in that particular case the accuser had to eat humble pie (can I say that or is it discriminatory in some way?:default_blush:

smellyloo uses the term ‘us oldies’ but, with a few exceptions, I have little idea of how old members are or indeed how long they have been members. 

Now i'm going to risk the "wrath of hell" and point out what my mum used to wash my clothes in ..... 

OMO

 

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I honestly think that some people must spend their time looking for ways to bother the rest of us over the more obscure areas of this stuff. 

Yes looking back, we accepted behaviour/language that with hindsight needed sorting, and to which we could be amazingly blind;  but some of the new taboos are beyond me, for example 'Cultural Misappropriation' in my book used to be 'Sharing Insights' 

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Seems that the modern culture has become.

I'm offended by everything!

If it does not fit my point of view, I will be offended and let everyone know so.

Social media has made this so much easier but.

What ever happened to live and let live?

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