Roger the cabin boy Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Prompted by your "new ideas" topic, a re-incarnation of a posting some years back, in another place. Some of you may not have read it - you may find it of interest, or not as the case may be.Part One It is time for the start of your first holiday on the Norfolk Broads. The car is loaded, the crew, plus dog, are ready for the off! You arrive at the boatyard. Park the car and clutching all your documents you proceed to the reception area. Hello, my name is Mr Pearson Hi, now let me see, you are on Tranquil Moments Is that an omen or what! The receptionist brings out a form. Is this your first time on the river Mr Pearson? Well I did have a trip on a boating lake at Lowestoft several years back, but I suppose that doesn't count Er, not really as she surreptitiously ticks a box on the booking form. The receptionist adopts a superior manner. Car parking undercover is £10.00, Outside is £5.00 and Diving Insurance is also £5.00. You can't help but think that Inshore Life Boat Insurance would be more appropriate, what the hell is Diving Insurance all about, anyway you pay. The receptionist smiles benevolently. I'm afraid that your boat is not quite ready at the moment, as she accepts your total payment. Your stomach lurches. You have that sinking feeling that all is not well! It will be about an hour, perhaps you would like to pop into Stalham No problem “ I'll be back in an hour". An hour soon passes and you present yourself to reception yet again. All is well the boat is ready!!! With family, you proceed along the quay, and there she is Tranquil Moments, moored stern on, looking immaculate. You open the door, the boat is spotless. Right Mother, get the kettle on, and I and the boys will unload the car Feverish activity takes place as boxes and cases are taken from the car and placed on the boat. Darling What, you can see I'm busy There's no water the taps don't work You're joking No I'm not. Nothing works. I can't believe it “ I'll speak to the man. You decide to get the dog on board (it's name is Mafeking due to the fact that it all ways wants to relieve itself) Mafeking stands on the aft deck, mortified, Refuses to budge, Dogs feet do not like decks of boats. There is only one remedy, a quick boot up the rear, an undignified scramble in the well of the steps. One problem resolved. Salvation is at hand. The trial run driver appears. His name is Darren (All first born, in Norfolk, in the mid 1980's were called Darren) Darren is 20. During his informative years, from 14 to 19 he used to converse in Neanderthalian grunts to his elders. Now, having mastered the art of conversation, he finds it necessary to end each sentence, or comment with the word right This gives him confidence that he has been understood. Hi, my name is Darren. Right You're ready for you trial run. Right Yes were ready Tell him about the taps darling I will, I will. Darren gives a knowing smile. (I'm starting to warm towards him already) might be continued, right!! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.