Good And Bad.

[Chelsea14Ian]

In the last few weeks there have been examples of both.The social media which we along with millions are taking part in,has a responsibility to all of us.

Sadly Caroline Flack took her own life.It appears she had her demons.She was a big celebrity and would  expect her life would be looked at in great detail.The other day a mad mad killed nine people for what reason?Then killing himself and he's Mother.Only the other day the knitting of the poor man in The London  centrol Mosgue.The story of the young lad in Australia picked on because of he's size.He's Mum posted the story  about the bullying he received. The good that came out of this very sad story was the fact that Celebs highlighted his story. 

I believe social media has a responsibility to all of us.I admit at time I've typed something that later I thought perhaps I shouldn't have done.However some of the things appearing on net and press and TV is just not on.

Mental health is a large problem offen over looked or not even understood by some.We need a open debate that is a good that.We all have a responsibility for our actions. Its had work being nasty, it may be throwaway comments  or actions,planning to hurt others.Its easy to be nice to others.Thankfully theres more good then bad.So many floods in the last few weeks,many have rallied round helping others.That should be highlighted and not the hatred that grabs the headlines. 

[BroadAmbition]

I admit at time I've typed something that later I thought perhaps I shouldn't have done.

You will no doubt be relieved to hear that you don't have the monopoly on that one.  Done it mysen times too many.  Although I know I am getting better at leaving the keyboard alone and not jumping straight in.  Still needs more practise though, ongoing

Griff

[Ray]

We've all done sadly but we have learned the lessons so graphically highlighted. 

Part of the problem I believe is annonimity, a perfect cover for bullies, with the right of freedom of expression comes the responsibility to use it fairly.

Although no one like the surveillance culture that is ever growing, I think it is right that if we want to post (publish) online (or anywhere else for that matter) then we should have to waive the right to hide our true identity and let each person stand by their words and face the consequences of them.

Some comments, not in decent places like this, are cruel, bullying, obscene and even incite violence and suicide. These people should have no hiding place... in my opinion!

[DAVIDH]

Yes, it's sometimes easy to think we leave in a "couldn't care less" society, but that's because usually it's the idiots who make the most noise. There are many many more people out there with good hearts, who don't feel the need to trumpet their compassion. Sadly, social media is a gift to the loud- mouths, who would not be heard in normal circumstances. as such, I feel strongly that these large, billion dollar making companies, have a responsibility to police the chat more effectively. They have the expertise, resources and the talent to build algorithms to get on top of this, but as it's unlikely to enhance their bottom line, it's not a priority for them. 

We have the hand-wringing and denouncing of social media every time a tragedy like this unfolds. We might hear how the Facebook Corporation regrets what happened, but it still occurs with unending regularity. We all want free speech, and this is not about that. Facebook etc, can build intelligent systems which fish out your commercial likes, to sell on at a later date. There is no reason, it would appear, why they cannot fish out harmful/hateful posts.  Posted images may need to be looked at by human eyes at some stage in the review cycle. They make the money from your content. They should be regulated to spend some of it on ensuring this avenue of abuse is closed off. 

[vanessan]

5 minutes ago, BroadAmbition said:

I admit at time I've typed something that later I thought perhaps I shouldn't have done.

You will no doubt be relieved to hear that you don't have the monopoly on that one.  Done it mysen times too many.  Although I know I am getting better at leaving the keyboard alone and not jumping straight in.  Still needs more practise though, ongoing

Griff

Ditto - I was going to highlight that bit of Ian’s post and say similar. Sometimes it’s hard not to reply immediately, it does need discipline. 
 

 

20 minutes ago, Chelsea14Ian said:

Mental health is a large problem offen over looked or not even understood by some

I would go so far as to say that I think it is misunderstood by most. A lot of the bad and sad things that happen these days are put down to being a ‘mental health issue’ and that expression seems to cover everything they can’t blame on something else. Because of social media we are all much more aware of what happens elsewhere on our little planet, that is a good thing in so many ways but it also brings out the worst in some. I believe we are fortunate to be living in the social media age, look at the help that is available on the NB forums for beginners and experts alike and we are just a tiny, tiny part of it.
 

 

 

[Regulo]

Being of the older generation, I (probably with most of my contemporaries) just can't "get" Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and all the rest of it. Why! Why bother with it, if you know it's going to end in tears? But to the youngsters, it seems there's no other way to live their life. And that's the problem, there's no support network that we had in the playground, chums who'd stick up for you when you needed help. Pals to spend time with out of school. Today's young seem destined to be lonely by choice, and that's not good for them, mentally.

[floydraser]

All of the above!

Back in the day, if someone did something nice only a handfull of people would normally get to here of it. Likewise, a bully could only intimidate a similar amount. Social media and other vast improvements in communications has expanded all that, but we are still learning how to use it. If only anonimity was abolished and people's was income linked to what they posted, it may invoke a bit of concentration.

But until then: The internet is just the back of a huge toilet door.

[rightsaidfred]

9 minutes ago, floydraser said:

All of the above!

Back in the day, if someone did something nice only a handfull of people would normally get to here of it. Likewise, a bully could only intimidate a similar amount. Social media and other vast improvements in communications has expanded all that, but we are still learning how to use it. If only anonimity was abolished and people's was income linked to what they posted, it may invoke a bit of concentration.

But until then: The internet is just the back of a huge toilet door.

While that and all the other posts are true the biggest problems revolve around respect, discipline and self glorification whether on social media or everyday life.

To many now have no self respect or respect for their families so they are never going to respect others or authority, there is no real discipline anymore and very few suffer the consequences of their behaviour, while I have every sympathy for anyone trolled or bullied so many of them put themselves in that position simply in the chase for adulation and glorification, the craving to constantly take and post selfies is just one example, if you don't want the heat stay out of the kitchen.

Fred

[ExSurveyor]

I don't normally post personal things on social media but sometimes it can help others who are dealing with similar, so here goes.

 

Mental health problems among young men are growing and despite all the awareness campaigns, very little help is available.

Eighteen months ago my eldest son had a complete mental breakdown.

We found him in his house curled up in the corner of a room crying uncontrollably. I can't begin to describe how difficult that it is to see a big strapping 37 year old reduced to that state.

The backup from the health professionals is zero.You are on your own.

The Mental health team registered him as at risk of suicide but said if we were worried he might kill himself we should ring the police.

He was allocated 6 weeks of talking therapy and various medications that turned him into a zombie.

We moved him back home to his old room to give him stability and support but we had to effectively put him on suicide watch.

Gradually, over many months, he has started to emerge, he stopped his meds after 9 months as he felt  they were making no difference.

He has always been a fitness fanatic and he joined a boxing gym.

Six months ago we helped him move out into a diffent property he owned just around the corner from us.

He has made steady progress with only a couple of relapses.

He has now won five out of his six fights, the fights are staged to raise money for the local hospice, the next fight in April is the raise funds for a six year old local girl with a life limiting illness.

I have never wanted to watch a fight but his brother and friends go along to support him.

The joy of seeing him occasionally smile again makes the heartache worthwhile.

His moving out was worse than when he left home at 20, then we only worried about him coping with money ( he is severely dyslexic )

The worry of, is he going to harm himself remains and probably always will, but once again we have to let him stand on his own two feet but be ready to support him if he stumbles.

Probably the moral is, don't expect help and support from the health professionals, it is only there in name.

 

 

 

 

[Gracie]

Wow, what a powerful post and message. Thank you for sharing. What a brave man your son is and how lucky to have parents that showed such love, help and support, your heart must have broke for him

Well done to you all. 

Jay and Grace x

[Ray]

You gave your son the very best help and care, long may he thrive and move forward from his dark place. 👍

[JennyMorgan]

I  suppose that I might now be accused of trolling but, hey ho,  here we go.

We all make provocative statements at some time, even unintentionally, but perhaps more likely down to good intent rather than malice I hasten to add! There always has been and always will be oddballs in life, and generally I'm drawn to them, but when it boils down to sheer, aggressive nastiness, such as trolling,  then I have my reservations.

It's not just down to social media, it's a streak in mankind that is probably within our DNA, but social media has provided an easy outlet. Most of us learn to cope with it, to a greater or lesser degree, but one or two seem to revel in the discord that they cause, even when they are of an age when they should damn well know better!

As for mental instability in general, I am no expert but I've been on this planet a few years now and as a social photographer, I specialised in people,  I soon became aware that social misfits tended to lack friends, other folk that they could relate to, from whom they could learn by experience. A self perpetuating problem as the more insular they became the less likely they were to share their lives and their problems. 

[SwanR]

Thank you for sharing such a personal story Psychic Surveyor. You never know what you may have to help your children through no matter what age they reach. 

[JennyMorgan]

The demands and pressures of life can and do get on top of the best of us, we mentally turn off, we inevitably give in, our minds have no other option. Blessed are those who have families and friends to stand by them.

[vanessan]

2 hours ago, JennyMorgan said:

 

I  suppose that I might now be accused of trolling

 

I am not sure why you should think that Peter, your post is anything but trolling. You are absolutely right when you say social media has provided an outlet for nastiness, some can handle it sadly others cannot. We must all give support where we can.

[FairTmiddlin]

Now for the good

Today is Brownies  Thinking Day.

One of the things we do, (you may not know but I'm an Amateur radio licence holder) as the local radio club is in the same building. Is try to contact other Brownie groups across the world. So they can have a chat about todays Thinking Day with other brownie groups. It's called TDOTA Thinking Day On The Air.

Try as we may we could not make contact with any other group on an any wavelength. So we scrolled up the waves and found a group of people having a chat. Waited for a pause and keyed up, gave our call sign and asked if anyone would be willing to have a chat. with individual Brownies to gain their badge.

One guy said yes and broke away from the chat, to a different frequency. Then spent the next half an hour chatting to five to 10 year olds about their day and what they had been doing.

That is a good thing about a certain type of social media.

One that has been round for over a hundred years.

[SwanR]

I remember Thinking Day. We were allowed to wear our Brownie uniform to school!

[unclemike]

dont forget jamboree on the air JOTA in october, scouts from all over the world communicate by radio, they have now added jamboree on the internet JOTI, been going since 1957

more details here ;-https://members.scouts.org.uk/supportresources/3228/jamboree-on-the-air-jota-and-jamboree-on-the-internet-joti

[Chelsea14Ian]

4 hours ago, psychicsurveyor said:

I don't normally post personal things on social media but sometimes it can help others who are dealing with similar, so here goes.

 

Mental health problems among young men are growing and despite all the awareness campaigns, very little help is available.

Eighteen months ago my eldest son had a complete mental breakdown.

We found him in his house curled up in the corner of a room crying uncontrollably. I can't begin to describe how difficult that it is to see a big strapping 37 year old reduced to that state.

The backup from the health professionals is zero.You are on your own.

The Mental health team registered him as at risk of suicide but said if we were worried he might kill himself we should ring the police.

He was allocated 6 weeks of talking therapy and various medications that turned him into a zombie.

We moved him back home to his old room to give him stability and support but we had to effectively put him on suicide watch.

Gradually, over many months, he has started to emerge, he stopped his meds after 9 months as he felt  they were making no difference.

He has always been a fitness fanatic and he joined a boxing gym.

Six months ago we helped him move out into a diffent property he owned just around the corner from us.

He has made steady progress with only a couple of relapses.

He has now won five out of his six fights, the fights are staged to raise money for the local hospice, the next fight in April is the raise funds for a six year old local girl with a life limiting illness.

I have never wanted to watch a fight but his brother and friends go along to support him.

The joy of seeing him occasionally smile again makes the heartache worthwhile.

His moving out was worse than when he left home at 20, then we only worried about him coping with money ( he is severely dyslexic )

The worry of, is he going to harm himself remains and probably always will, but once again we have to let him stand on his own two feet but be ready to support him if he stumbles.

Probably the moral is, don't expect help and support from the health professionals, it is only there in name.

 

 

 

 

I had hope things have got better,but hearing your story it seems theres a long why to go.Some years back I too had mental health problems. At that time I was involved in the community doing voluntary work in Thamesmead and Chair of the IMB at Belmarsh prison. Also lots of hours doing event catering. Resulting in one way or another unable to cope.Often I felt no one understood, it took me a number of years to turn things around. So I fully understand your story and  that of others in a dark place.The treatment of Mental health affects so many ,what is encouraging is high profile people are thankfully highlighting it.

Please pass on my regards to your son,and hope he is making a good recovery..

[FairTmiddlin]

1 hour ago, chameleon said:

dont forget jamboree on the air JOTA in october, scouts from all over the world communicate by radio, they have now added jamboree on the internet JOTI, been going since 1957

more details here ;-https://members.scouts.org.uk/supportresources/3228/jamboree-on-the-air-jota-and-jamboree-on-the-internet-joti

Yeah we do that one too

we also do LOTA, ROTA, COTA, SOTA and POTA. and this year we hope to get a special event call sign for Dover

D80DUN for the 80th anniversary of th Dunkirk evacuation, as Dover was the main Imbarkation at the western docks station which i now the cruise terminal we are in negotiations to transmit from there

[Chelsea14Ian]

Some heart warming  stories today.This morning on BBC breakfast. Dan Walker was walking he's dog when he met Tony Foulds who was tending a Memorial. Dan asked him what it was.Tony had created it in memory of a American bomber crew that died close to  the spot. They were returning from a bombing raid in Germany when they crashed. It was hes hope that a flight past could take place. Dan together with the BBC spoke to a American air base and on the 22 February last year the fly past took place and 15 thousand people  turned up.

The second story was that of Speedo Mick.He has walked from John o Grots to lands end in just he's speedos boots and a hat.He is a long standing  Everton fan,they have supported him al the way.He's as mad as a bag of frogs.A great character he's raised  over 250 thousand pounds. 

And a update  Quaden the young Australian lad bullied because of his height, lead out his favourite football team.

[MauriceMynah]

Just a small point or two.

The American bomber crashed in a field trying to avoid hitting a school, their final act of heroism. The flypast etc was a year ago yesterday (or the day before) but the story had had such an impact that it was re-told yesterday. The whole thing was very moving last year.

[NeilB]

On 22/02/2020 at 10:46, psychicsurveyor said:

The backup from the health professionals is zero. You are on your own.

Sadly this is my experience as well.  My son is mildly autistic which became more apparent towards the end of junior school.  His secondary school were and are fantastic but the waiting time for an official diagnosis from the local CAMHS was nearly 3 years.

Luckily we have health insurance via my work so could go private but even this was not straightforward as CAMHS changed the diagnosis process and guidelines so we had to have additional reports and tests.  The general consensus was the change was made to try and slow down the amount of people going private as once the diagnosis is confirmed you can apply for extra help with schooling etc.  This obviously costs money that councils don't have !!

As it happens my son is quite mild and while he has issues we can manage them and he's actually doing fairly well at school.  Sadly that's not the case for everyone.

On the plus side he's had zero issues with bullying as at 14 he's 6ft 3 and built like the proverbial outhouse, for those that know him he's a gentle giant !

[grendel]

when i was at school i was bullied as i was (like your son) 6 ft 4 and built like an outhouse, i too was the gentle giant and was bullied because i didnt react, that is until the day they pushed it too far and i picked one of the other guys up in one hand by his foot, thats when they all learned they really didnt want to see me angry, it was also the last time i got bullied.

[Hylander]

Oh how I can relate to what you have just posted grendel.  Not that I am built like brick outhouse but when at school when about 13 I was the odd ball,   parents were in the RAF and I had been abroad with them,   they were all , well no hopers and I suppose and stuck out like a saw thumb.   My parents were very strict and I had to be in bed by 8.30   (1959).   These kids at school were just going out to the nightclub at that time, so I was pilloried for it.    They tried every trick in the book.   cut my hair, slung my gym equipment , bag and all in the cut, sniggered and ridiculed me whenever they could.   Chucked me off the school bus in the middle of nowhere in the winter.  Bus driver just sat there.       Just a few things,  until it came to the last day of term.   I took the bull by the horns and went into the loo and gave myself a make over, came out tarted up to the nines and they could not believe their eyes that Miss Prim had changed,   they all of course wanted to be my friend then.   I had great delight and telling them exactly what I thought of them.   I have never forgiven them.