You Couldn't Make It Up.

ExSurveyor · May 23, 2020

The world has gone mad,

This is a report from fb but knowing the area and the company I have every reason to believe it is true. :default_rofl:

A warning to all: avoid using Aldi in Gillingham at the moment if you can.
I've just got back from a truly awful there shopping trip.
Having queued up, patiently and socially distancing, as I neared the entrance a shop worker clipped a carabena onto the belt loop of my jeans, my perplexed expression must have said it all as she explained that whilst people are distancing in the queue outside, they aren't distancing once inside the store.
So what some Donut has dreamt up is to rope 6 ir so customers together with 2m of rope between each of us WTAF.
Well these are strange times and with the threat of a second wave of infection I thought I'd best not complain and just tow the line (so to speak).
I'm telling you now, what an absolutely idiotic idea this is. We've negotiated our way in to the store, some with trolleys and others trying to grab a basket before the berserk conga line drags them away.
I'm was near the middle of the rope picking up some veg, the woman at the front, who was trussed up like a kid in a harness was trying to drag the whole line to the apples and the bloke at the back trying to pull the other way to get his hands on last weeks courgettes which were now this weeks courgette offer.
It was like tug-of-war for the deranged.
It's embarrassing to say, but I lost it, started ranting and raving about the rope and how the hell are people meant to shop like this, I went to unclip the carabena which miraculously brought the attention of the staff who told me I'd be asked to leave the shop if I uncliped. "FFS we're not rock climbing, we're trying to buy cheese" are words which I'll carry with me to my grave.
Strangely this outburst had the effect of bringing our train together as a team.
We carried on now with lots of communication, people passing stuff along the line to other to fill their baskets. Now I know passing things to one another could spread the infection as much as person to person contact but I honestly think if we hadn't of done, I'd still be there now.
As we started along the aisle I generally refer to as "biscuits and creosote", it was clear from the melee that all was not well in the adjacent aisle. As far as I could tell there had been 2 trains of people and a lady in the middle of one chain had ducked under the other to get her hands on a pop-art cat bed. The tangle had resulted in a multi-pedestran pile up in which the epicentre resembled the diety Durga, it wasn't clear how long they'd been there but one old chap was trying to free himself by feverishly sawing at the rope with his house keys.
We navigated the remaining aisles without major trauma, other than having to rescue Doreen (2nd in line) after she fell in the chest freezer trying to reach the last beef Wellington. We were individually unclipped prior to the till, at which point any cameradery we'd had quickly evaporated as everyone scrambled for the first available till.
With the ordeal still impeding rational thought, it was a welcome and familiar sight to have the check out throw all my shopping on the floor in the normal 1000mph fashion. I really did not appreciate being strung along like that, but I hope you did.

grendel · May 23, 2020

as a pleasant change this morning, there were no queues to get into lidls, none at asda, and i formed the queue at sainsburys by lining up behind the person about to go in, i guess everyone must be at the beach. and true to a bank holiday weekend, its just rained here.

ChrisB · May 23, 2020

No way could Aldi clip their customers strides, because they all wear 52" elasticated waist joggers with no loops.

They could try getting a carabiner purchase on a flip-flop but they would just slip them off.

Hylander · May 23, 2020

31 minutes ago, grendel said:

as a pleasant change this morning, there were no queues to get into lidls, none at asda, and i formed the queue at sainsburys by lining up behind the person about to go in, i guess everyone must be at the beach. and true to a bank holiday weekend, its just rained here.

Beach - beach !! Well I hope they have their winter combs on. As per usual the heat wave seems to have decided to do a swerve from up here in Norfolk especially on the coast. No nude sun bathing today, the wind is chilly and very strong.

Poppy · May 23, 2020

We had to go to Sainsburys. Actually Argos , to pick up something we have ordered and paid for. The queue was at least 45 minutes long , same when we went back 2 hours later !

If you want anything from Argos, best be sure you really need it !

Polly · May 23, 2020

I need oxygen after that! Soo funny!

JennyMorgan · May 23, 2020

Went to Coo-Dee (Lathams) today, 10 minutes top queuing, very pleasant. Lots of quality tat including some lovely Portmeirion table wear at very attractive prices, as well as the plants that we actually went to buy.

Cockatoo · May 23, 2020

We had to go to Sainsburys. Actually Argos , to pick up something we have ordered and paid for. The queue was at least 45 minutes long , same when we went back 2 hours later !
If you want anything from Argos, best be sure you really need it !

Or get it delivered. Under £4 for same day delivery is a bargain. And you can order up to 4pm for delivery that evening.

Sent from the Norfolk Broads Network mobile app

Poppy · May 23, 2020

44 minutes ago, Cockatoo said:

Or get it delivered. Under £4 for same day delivery is a bargain. And you can order up to 4pm for delivery that evening.

Sent from the Norfolk Broads Network mobile app

And no guaranteed time of delivery. We are out a lot at the moment, working on the boat . Can't be doing with that , especially as we drive past Sainsbury's on the way there !

Cockatoo · May 23, 2020

And no guaranteed time of delivery. We are out a lot at the moment, working on the boat . Can't be doing with that , especially as we drive past Sainsbury's on the way there !

You are guaranteed a 3hr slot and you can nominate a safe place :)

Sent from the Norfolk Broads Network mobile app

Poppy · May 23, 2020

2 minutes ago, Cockatoo said:

You are guaranteed a 3hr slot and you can nominate a safe place :)

Sent from the Norfolk Broads Network mobile app

I take it you have some connection since you are such an ambassador for them ?

Cockatoo · May 24, 2020

9 hours ago, Poppy said:

I take it you have some connection since you are such an ambassador for them ?

I'm doing a bit of part time work there yes, but I buy lots of stuff at Argos. I'd seen the same day delivery advertised and also the delivery for £3.95 but I hadn't put the two together. I think I'd assumed that the delivery charge was 'from' £3.95 or per item or something. Last time Debs picked up from there she had to queue in the Sainsburys queue as well :default_biggrin: