Mud Weighting To Be Banned.

[Wussername]

The Navigation Committee under the auspice of the Broads Authority  have decreed under regulation 45, subsection 2(a) and 2(b) of the dictate dated the 12th March 1984 that the use of the so called Mud Weight will be withdrawn from Hire Boats and from private boats as from the 1st July 2021.

This edict has regrettably come about due to the intransigence of the boat owner/helm/crew and general know alls that frequent The Norfolk Broads National Park. The incidence of Broadland Back and Holiday Hernia has increased dramatically over the last few years.

It should be remembered that the Mud Weight is in fact a misnomer. It is in fact a Muddle Weight. So defined by our forbearers of years gone by. The boat yard owners of the time used to meet, on a Saturday, in the morning, at a local hostelry.  Thus avoiding having to meet the returning holiday maker at the boatyard with his inevitable moaning and whinging. This leaked, that leaked, this didn’t close, this didn’t work. It was relentless. Delegation was the key, the boat yard manager. That was why he was employed. There was no other reason.

However there was a problem. The Saturday meeting had a identified a serious issue. The lack of mooring space. A Mooring Muddle. So The Muddle Weight was born, together with another useless bit of kit , the Rond Anchor.

The boat yard owner returned with rosy cheeks, and a remedial disposition mid afternoon to wish his new customers bon voyage. Complete with 1950 technology. The Mud Weight.

It soon became apparent that the bloody thing did not work. On Salhouse it skidded about on the bottom. On Wroxham Broad it caused much consternation especially when deployed on the start line of the cruiser race. In a river it was useless, like an ash tray on a motor bike. Bargate at low tide was good, as the tide started to rise so did the mud weight and that imperceptible drift towards the graveyard of boats of yesteryear, on the east bank, like a denture of old wooden teeth poking above the water. Old wherries,  don’t you believe it, a mud weight failure more like. Barton, for the brave, on a post, just outside a post, or inside a post. Will the wind get up?  A desolate place at night. The only consolation is that you will not founder on a rock.

Now Malthouse Broad, Why Malthouse? Ranworth surely. Ranworth Church, Ranworth Village, Ranworth Staithe, Ranworth Green. You can blame the wherry men. They went to The Malthouse on Ranworth Broad. It was then called by them as Malthouse and in the passage of time it was called Malthouse Broad.

Now here is the nub of it. Ranworth or Malthouse is the very crux of the matter. The only broad in the whole National Park that is ideally suited to the Muddle weight or Mud weight.

Prior to the introduction of the toilet, the toilet tank, on all boats , hire or private, all went into the river.

On Ranworth Broad, some 20 boats would be moored on the quay. Some 20 boats would be moored on the broad. Forty boats. Shall we say four people on each boat. 160 people each morning. 1120 per week.

Between the hours of 7am and 9am there would be The Great Easement. On Ranworth Broad.

This provided the ideal medium for the Mud weight. Think of blanket.

This was the only place in Broadland where the Mud Weight worked.

We must therefore welcome out of the box, blue clear sky thinking, leverage of goodwill and commonsense, the Kimino of our ideal and giving 110% to our learnings to our mission.

Thus we must surely embrace the banning of the mud weight.

 

[Guest Jayfire]

[Meantime]

4 minutes ago, Wussername said:

The Navigation Committee under the auspice of the Broads Authority  have decreed under regulation 45, subsection 2(a) and 2(b) of the dictate dated the 12th March 1984 that the use of the so called Mud Weight will be withdrawn from Hire Boats and from private boats as from the 1st July 2021.

My understanding is that it is to be enacted a day earlier on the 31st June.

[Chelsea14Ian]

Think the should  should  be today 1 April  2021

[Smoggy]

27 minutes ago, Wussername said:

Thus we must surely embrace the banning of the mud weight.

I am certainly not embracing anyones mudweight after the great easement!

I find a harpoon gun far moor effective, just aim it at the water and shoot, gives a good anchorage all night long and if you are lucky when you haul it back in you may find a whale on the end, well that's breakfast sorted.

[Helian]

Presumably those equipped with a plough anchor are exempt? 

[Smoggy]

1 minute ago, Helian said:

Presumably those equipped with a plough anchor are exempt? 

Indeed, as are those with a tractor anchor, I always found the combine harvester also made a good safe anchorage unlikely to move in a breeze.

[Helian]

Not wishing to cultivate such puns but it could be a harrowing experience.

[grendel]

13 minutes ago, Helian said:

Not wishing to cultivate such puns but it could be a harrowing experience.

causing many a furrowed brow.

[NeilB]

51 minutes ago, Smoggy said:

I am certainly not embracing anyones mudweight after the great easement!

I find a harpoon gun far moor effective, just aim it at the water and shoot, gives a good anchorage all night long and if you are lucky when you haul it back in you may find a whale on the end, well that's breakfast sorted.

Didn't Vera Lynn write a song about this?  Whale meat again......  

[Helian]

1 hour ago, grendel said:

causing many a furrowed brow.

[unclemike]

Think its time to BALE out of this thread

[addicted]

Had me going till I got to the bit about Broadland back and holiday hernia.

 

Carole

 

[colino]

[Andrewcook]

Hi this is some good April Fools Joke about Mud Weight that has been on the Boats & Sailing for Years What will Griff say about this as he has got Slaves doing the putting In and Out lol

[Bytheriver]

On the FB page of a London Park I follow someone claiming to be a Councillor claimed due to objections to so many objections to bulldozing a council estate to build posh flats (true) they were going to build in the underused  parts of the park with a consultation to choose which part - now that was OTT in my opinion 

To make matters worse Admin took it down but it was reposted this afternoon!

Problem is knowing the reactionary nature of some of the population there will be a demo outside the Town Hall tonight as they cant resist a good flag waving session

[Helian]

There are rumours going around that the original plan was to merely require a safety strap, max 1m long, from the mud weight to the ankle of the "thrower". Many wives of private owners were supportive but hire yards were concerned that it could adversely affect the number of returning hirers the next season. Hence the total ban compromise.