Jump to content

Confession Time


Recommended Posts

Having read the tales of Carousel and her exciting bits,  I wonder how many of us have done daft things in our time.


I will start us off.


We moored at an informal mooring on the River Waveney in a hire boat many years ago.      Went to bed, never thinking about tides (where have I heard that one before) when about 3 in the morning, the alarms started to go.   Try and I may I could not get out of bed due to the angle of the boat,  yes we were well and truly caught on the side.    In the pitch black hubby got out boat hook in hand and the next thing I recall was a sudden falling and I was back straight again.     You can imagine what I said, and since then his life has become a complete hassle when mooring as far as "do you think we will get stuck on the side" again.      I have never had a double Brandy at 3.30 in the morning but I certainly did that day.   I vowed and declared I was going home.   Hence in years to come we bought our own boat, but that memory will never fade.


Ok   -  your turn...



Link to comment
Share on other sites



Moored at Bernie Arms....


Now I love the pub and have moored there every time I have been on the Broads, never a problem, until the last time.......


8:30 am, tide going out, decided that we would leave as we wanted to get up north....


Moored on the first mooring from Breydon, straight outside the pub facing the mill......


With engine started and all running fine, got off the boat, OH asked if I needed a hand, I said no, don't worry you just stay down there...


Looked at tide running out and thought, untie bow rope, the bow will swing out with the tide, get stern rope, get on and boat will be facing middle of river to make it easier to turn round and head across Breydon........


Well this is where it went wrong.......


Untied bow rope, rolled it up, put it on boat....


Walked to stern, took stern rope off of mooring post, noticed my shoelace was untied, so bent down to tie it.....


Looked up saw boat was now half way in river on the way to Breydon without me on it.......


Managed to grab the stern rope and wrap it around the pub sign post, (hurt my hand a bit)...


The boat swung on the post and said hello to big tug (I think that was the name of the tug moored there)....


My Oh then said are you sure you don't want a hand...


I said no problem, just turning the boat round to make it easier to set off :naughty:


Unwrapped the rope from the sign, jumped on and set off.....


A quick look behind, and all the boats moored still had their curtains closed.... so no one new what happened... UNTILL NOW



  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Forgetting I had stored the inflatable dinghy in the roof as we approached Somerleyton Bridge with the tide up our chuff.

Full astern steering with bow thrusters is not something I want to repeat in a hurry.

To top it off I was steering from the upper deck......

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was about eighteen my father persuaded me to accompany the family on a Broads holiday. This was in the days of the old wooden Ferry Pioneers. The rivers were in flood and the winds were high.

Dad always bought a paper in the morning and nothing was going to stop him from getting it. There was a small gap on the moored boats at Horning. "Nose it in there boy" dad commanded, standing on the foredeck. I had a few attemts, fighting the current and wind and trying to avoid some kids in a rubber dinghy and it was almost impossible. Dad was adamant that nothing was going to stop him getting his paper. "Hurry up" he said, so I did. I nosed the boat into the quayside and accidentally threw the throttle into forward gear instead of reverse to stop the boat.Oops!The bows hit the quayside and dad flew off the foredeck and landed flat on his face. He picked himself up and limped off to get his precious paper. He never said a word on his return, just glared at me. Well, I did tell him it was a bit difficult and beyond my capabilities.

To this day, some fifty years later I still have the picture in my mind of dad's rather portly backside dissappearing over the bows of The old Ferry Pioneer.


  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

After mooring overnight at Oulton yacht station me and my brother decided to go to Reedham for the day, so we set of nice and early to cruise down the New Cut to get there. It wasn't until we were trying to moor up at Reedham that we were informed by the nice little crowd on the quay front that we still had our mud weight down. On another occasion me and my mate were going to meet my brother and his better half at the Swan pub where they had driven up from London to meet us there. As we approached the moorings we spotted my brother sitting at one of  the riverside tables . With my mate steering the boat I stood on the deck, rope in hand, redy to jump off and tie up. Everything went to plan apart from my landing. My feet hit the gravel and i ended up on my a**se with rope still in hand hanging on for dear life to the boat. As i stood up, to a rapturous applause from the Swans visitors, and a standing ovation from my brother, I tied the boat up and rather sheepishly went for a much deserved pint.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I`ve been hiring for nearly 40years, and have broads boating since 1970. I`ve been on all types of different boats, from several different yards (mainly Maffett Cruisers though), and, with the exception of the steering arm sheering on one of Herbert Woods boats, enjoyed trouble free cruising, and can`t seem to recall doing anything embarrasing, .................... untill i filled the diesel tank with water in June this year.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Last year we had a lot of technical problems with the boat, including blowing an engine on the way back from the Thames. We thought the problems were over until trying to come back into Reedham Marina. 


Anyone that knows Reedham will understand that the tide runs very quickly across the entrance to the marina. My solution to this is get lined up a little way up or down stream depending on tide direction, and when close to the entrance, give it a bit of throttle until through and into calm water and then into reverse to stop.


On this occasion our electronic throttle system decided to malfunction after I had "given it a bit of throttle" and was in danger of hurtling into the quay heading at the end of the marina, or worse, other peoples boats! I quickly went into reverse and went flying back out of the marina entrance at almost full throttle, only to find that when selecting neutral, the engines stayed in reverse!


Rather than career into the reeds on the opposite bank stern first, I cut both engines. This had the effect of killing the boat stone dead and not even the anchor could be lowered. Luckily the tide was on the way out, so we ended up drifting down the river (rather that than towards the bridge!) bouncing sedately off the reeds trying to figure out what the hell to do. 


Rescue was on the way in the form of another couple of our fellow moorers in one of the smallest boats in the marina. After a bit of rope chucking they eventually managed to pull us out of the reeds and back up to the marina against the current at about 1mph. Looking back it must have seemed quite amusing to see us being towed back (a bit like David pulling along Goliath by his nostrils I suspect), but with a lot of helping hands we were finally in our berth.


The problem was actually a bad earth on the boat that had caused the throttle controls to fry themselves, but it was pretty embarrassing nonetheless!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have had a couple of silly moments – none of which so far have been witnessed by anyone but myself.


Most recent was my clever idea to clean a Rhonde Anchor of mud and having been successful with the first by dangling it in the river and moving it around, did the same with the other- but just let it go and watch it sink.  I doubt I could repeat fishing one back out with a Boat Hook again though.


Then there was the time I got off the boat and it had been left idling in reverse taking me for a walkie along the bank before I figure what was going on and got back on and put it in neutral.


I’m sure one of these days I will do a right clanger somewhere very public, like Ranworth Staithe say but most of the time thinking before doing has prevented things going wrong. 


Little tip as to mud weights: leave a note on the dash that it is down, they are easy things to forget you’ve got down the morning after the night before.  I also wonder why electric winches don’t have a red LED on the dash that is on when the mud weight down and off when raised.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Little tip as to mud weights: leave a note on the dash that it is down, they are easy things to forget you’ve got down the morning after the night before. I also wonder why electric winches don’t have a red LED on the dash that is on when the mud weight down and off when raised.

Yet I'm not the only one who does this :-)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Several years ago (must have been 2008) we decided to book a last minute boat on the Norfolk Broads. We had not been on the Broads for many years, the last time was in 1985 the year that we got married. I had been boating several times with my Family when I was younger on the Llangollen Canal, Thames and Caledonian Canal but not having hired for twenty two years we were a bit apprehensive.

We hired Gold Gem from Richardsons via Hoseasons. We had three of our six kids with us, two boys and one girl. The oldest boy (David) must have been sixteen. We got to the boat yard at Stalham and checked in, life jackets, 12v lead and loaded our kit on the boat then reported that we were ready. The trial was a short trip up the river, turn around and go back. A quick stern moor and we were pronounced as fit to go on our own.

Our first 20 mins was what Lee Trevino would have described as Military style if you were on a golf course (left, right, left right) as we wandered around over correcting until we got used to it. We got away late so across Barton Broad, through Irstead and we moored up at one of he wild moorings on the starboard side. Susannah and I fished while Sara prepared dinner and the boys read. After dinner we played some games and had an early night.

Up early as we wanted to head across to the southern Broads and Norwich. Now unlike in 1985 when we nearly hit the bridge at Yarmouth I had studied the tides and how to get across Breydon Water. When we got there it was very grey the wind was up and it was raining quite hard. Gold Gem did not have a wind screen wiper so it was difficult to see. I sorted it out by getting jugs of the filtered water and pouring it down the window. It cleared the spray off and as it was filtered it did not smear. We moored at Cantley for the night at the 24hr moorings. More fishing a walk around Cantley, dinner games and bed.

Up early next morning to get to Norwich for moorings and a trip around the city. Engine on and ready to go. David ready to release the stern rope and I was releasing the bow rope. I released the rope and leaning on the boat to push it away into the current and jump back on ready to set off after David had release the stern rope. Well things did not go as planned. As I pushed the bow off ready to get back on my walking boots slipped on the wooden mooring. Legs went backwards as boat moved away from the bank. You can see where this is going. It is a funny feeling and it all seems to happen in slow motion. There I was hands firmly gripping the boat, knuckles were white by this stage, and feet were desperately trying to hook something on the bank. There comes a time during this slow motion thinking as the boat and bank get further apart and you go from vertical to horizontal that you have to decide which end, head or legs is going to get wet. My decision was legs. So in they went.

Imagine desperately hanging on to the side of the boat now soaking wet up to the waist. No problem I thought will just pull myself up into the boat. With the weight of the water there was no way that I was going to get into the boat. This is the point that I learnt the importance of wearing a life jacket as well as proper foot ware. Only problem mine was on the boat while I was only hanging onto the side of it, only the wrong side of it. Here comes the good fortune. David having heard the splash had luckily not untied the stern rope and had come to see what was going on. After a quick snigger he had the sense to go aft to where he could pull the boat towards the bank. At that point he got the bow rope and pulled it in. So now I have one hand on the bank and one on the boat trying to get my legs on the bank to get myself out. A very nice man who was solo on the boat moored in front of us gave David a hand to pull me out.

How embarrassing I was dripping from the waist down and just wanted to get out of there. The man suggested that we tie up again but I wanted to vanish as soon as possible. Off we went.

No problem I thought David can steer for a few minutes while I have a quick shower and change of clothes. I was in the shower when there was a shriek followed by a shout of Ian. Out of the shower and we were heading towards the reeds. I straightened the boat and instructed them on over compensation of the steering and how not to over correct. I gave it a few minutes and thought it safe to go back into the shower. This time I was just covered in shampoo when there was another shriek. Dived out of the shower to be met with a towel. We were now in the reeds. Luckily not too far. A quick reverse and got us back on course. David was not willing to touch the steering again, I wonder why. Up steps Susannah only twelve years old and takes over the Helm. Looked as though she had been doing it for years. I managed to get the shampoo rinsed out and dressed. Not long after that the man who helped me out steamed past......quick look away....hide. We made it to Norwich and had a lovely day.

In deed the rest of the holiday went well. We have been back every year except one when we went on the Thames and we are booked up for next year, but it could have all been so different.

Lesson learnt;

Always wear your life jacket when anywhere on the outside of the boat, especially mooring. Always wear non slip foot ware.

My family often joke and laugh about my falling in and tell every one.

Because of my embarrassment and trying to get away and hide I never really thanked the man that helped get me out. If you read this you have my utmost thanks for your help that day.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

what i hate , is when people remember your little mistakelaugh.gif ie, the harbour master , last year we went to norwich, had a lovely out shopping , came back & decided to have a cuppa then go, anyway, we untied the ropes & set off, got to the harbour masters office & we see him waving at us, so we just waved back , then we hear someone whistling, we turned round & he's shouting at us, you've forgotten to pull your mud weight up, oops smileyvault-shy.gif so my sister went to pull it up, with about half of the rivers reeds with it, & the harbour master said laughing ,at least it won't need dredging this year, anyway, we went up there this year & this guy is the same one there from last year, we started to tie the ropes up & he came over & gave us a hand, then after he'd tied up the ropes he just stood there looking at us, & thought maybe i'd got my jumper on inside out or something, & suddenly said, I remember you two , you were the ones who dredged our river last year were'nt you ? & i said ERM yes lol,smileyvault-shy.gifsmileyvault-shy.gif i really wish they did'nt have such good memories rofl.gif .lori

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Sponsors

    Norfolk Broads Network is run by volunteers - You can help us run it by making a donation

  • Create New...

Important Information

For details of our Guidelines, please take a look at the Terms of Use here.