Nude Cruises

[Gracie]

Hi all

Something was mentioned on another thread about being nude while cruising, has anyone ever witnessed a naturist cruise, would it be legal? could you get prosecuted for indecent exposure?

Naturist groups and clubs have as much right to a broads holiday as everyone else surely, should imagine they would have to be careful when mooring up and bending over to put the mud weight down lol.....and as for those damn midges, doesn't BARE thinking about

I am certainly not thinking about giving it a go, just interested to hear if anyone has witnessed or given it a go, this is only mean't to be light hearted and hope I haven't offended anyone

Grace

[Hockham Admiral]

Grace, HI

While I've not seen this over here it certainly happens in Holland.... you just have to try to keep your concentration on where you're going!  :naughty:

(Which in most BOGs' cases wouldn't be too easy!).

[Hylander]

God help us , no thank you.      Most people are better dressed and then it is not always much of an improvement.        I may be old fashioned (and proud of it) but agh!! it makes my skin crawl.    The thought of those nether regions on display...    bad enough when some bloke bends over in the supermarket in front of you and you can see most of his backside which has happened to me.      A big NO THANKS PLEASE.

 

 

Mon

[BuffaloBill]

There used to be an annual cruise on Southern Comfort

for a naturist group but it was eventually banned because

one person complained!

Lets face it, if you don't like what you see...Don't look! 

Personally I don't think it was too bad as you could only

see from the waist up.

[Gracie]

Hylander, spot on post and made me ;laugh, you are sooo right and just like to say to BuffaloBill, how could you not look, I would have to and wouldn't be at their faces either   I just couldn't help myself, Surely it's human nature to have a sneaky peak lol

 

Admiral, you must have seen some sights then? Got any pics 

 

Grace

[BroadScot]

Wellll in the days/years when the yards were aplenty, it was possible if a Scandanavian crew/family were on the Broads to be topless going down or up the rivers, they just waved and carried on as normal. As for full starkers OMG a deffo not, that's a bit of a  (__!__)r I think !    

 

Iain.

[mbird]

The question is, how would you know?

 

If someone is sitting at the helm, and you can only see from the waist up, how do you know they are wearing anything down below anyway?

[BroadScot]

They were sitting up front at the bow is why   At a guess, mum and two daughters all scanadanvian blonde.

 

Iain

[Gracie]

My question to you Iain is did you steer a straight course or crash? lol, should imagine if this sort of thing was to catch on there would be a lot more boat accidents reported 

 

Grace

[mbird]

They were sitting up front at the bow is why   At a guess, mum and two daughters all scanadanvian blonde.

 

Iain

 

Not that you took any notice at all Iain  What I meant was there might be more of it about than we realise and just don't know it 

[Guest]

Sounds like a new sport to me to watch out for.....excuses in advance if you happen to see me zigzagging along the river as I'm only checking the wildlife and flowers..... honest !!!

[Hylander]

Thinking about this logically.      How many days in the year could you sit naked on a boat anyway.       You would have icicles on your bicycles.   Most parts of the male anatomy would look as if they had been shrink wrapped.    

 

 

Monica 

[Mowjo]

As someone that often cruises at night or at the crack of dawn I have been known and seen in just my undercrackers, but nude cruise Oh no! things have been known to get caught in the prop, we did pass a boat last year on the way to Coltishal that had two very well endowed older ladies bathing topless on the roof, odd thing was no-one even noticed until I mentioned I'd never seen a boat with pink fenders, I think my grandkids are scared for life now,,,

 

Frank,,,,

[BroadScot]

Not that you took any notice at all Iain  What I meant was there might be more of it about than we realise and just don't know it 

I am talking about the busy days of many yards in the early 80's. The wife noticed them before I did, and was told to keep my eyes straight ahead!!     My father in law said then, it cost them that much to get to Norfolk clothes were very thin on the ground in their luggage.

 

Iain.

 

p.s. They were on the Yare at the time.

[BroadScot]

My question to you Iain is did you steer a straight course or crash? lol, should imagine if this sort of thing was to catch on there would be a lot more boat accidents reported 

 

Grace

Us BOG's are excellent skippers Grace. Steered straight as the tides allowed me. Crash?? Never! lol

 

Iain.

[donnygeoff]

I am always totally nude when cruising, I don't see the problem.........

 

(well under my clothes I am totally nude anyway)

 

[JennyMorgan]

Many years ago I held the licence at the Waveney Inn and decided to have a topless night, We advertised that to get the ball rolling all the staff would be topless. The place was heaving, the customers all clothed though, the staff all very definitely topless, that night the staff were all blokes. No one arrived buff on a boat, but that was in the seventies. We were much more modest back then!

[Gracie]

How very crafty of you JennyMorgan but absolutely hilarious, love to have seen the punters faces when they realised the staff were all men lol

 

Grace

[donnygeoff]

OH....

 

I forgot to mention when you joined the forum Peter....

 

 

Watch out for Gracie.....

 

 

 

And PS Gracie....the women punters didn't complain

[JennyMorgan]

Gracie, the customers all had the good grace to laugh when they realised that they had been had. By the way, where in Sussex do you live? I had a few years living in Bosham, nice county. One day I was sailing up Bosham Deep when I passed very closely under the stern of a moored yacht, As I passed a voice rang out, 'I don't think that sailing that close to a moored boat is good practice'. I retorted that from where I came from it was good practice to use every inch of the water. The voice called back, 'ah,a Broads sailor'! I stopped and we had a chat, turned out that she'd grown up on Oulton Broad, living a few doors from my rather more humble home, small world.

[JennyMorgan]

Hi Dave, fancy meeting you over here too! Have been catching a jack or two but nothing special. Re Sunday, if all goes to plan we shall be boarding the good ship 'Spray' and sailing up to the WRC for the day. Thanks for the invite though, appreciated. 

[Hockham Admiral]

Welcome aboard the NBN, JM, from us.

 

Must have missed your arrival here as we've been out on the Yare for a couple of days.

[Gracie]

Good Morning peter

 

I actually live in East Sussex near Eastbourne, sorry to mislead I must amend that in my profile.

 

Do you still live in Oulton Broad? Our dream is to one day move to Norfolk North or South, both beautiful in my opinion.

 

DonnyGeoff, I wouldn't complain either, especially if they had six packs and resembled Johnny Depp 

 

Grace 

[JennyMorgan]

Six packs, that lot, naaa!

 

Yes, Gracie, still in Oulton Broad. You best hurry & move up here, house prices around the Broad are on a steep move, yet again.

[Timbo]

"Six packs"? Now the cultivation of six tiny muscles is something I just don't understand...not when there's the option of going for just one big one! It's like a choice of going for six Smart cars or one Maserati.

 

On our favourite wild mooring along the Ant I was just going through the process of dousing the lights, checking the warps...and drinking the Rioja when I heard six shrill blasts from a whistle. My first thought was 'it's a bit late for the kids to be still blowing on the life jacket whistles'. You see, misuse of life jacket whistles is a pet hate of mine. I poured another glass of Rioja and the whistles continued. Six clear blasts...a gap...and six more. I grabbed a torch and checked along the river. Nothing.

 

The whistles continued and I tried to pinpoint their location...which seemed to be from the dense bushes some way along the bank. Armed with torch and beagle I set off trying to make my way to the source of the 'distress' call. For that is what is was. Pushing my way through the undergrowth my leg sank into a mire of mud. As I swore and pulled myself out, to my right I saw a ghostly apparition. A mud encrusted naked lady!

 

Okay, my first thought was 'that's the last time I buy wine from Lathems...even if it is 'on special', my second thought was 'what the hell is that' but when the apparition said 'Thank God' and Dylly the Beagle padded up to the woman wagging his tail...I calmed down a bit.

 

Turned out the 'Damsel in Distress' and her Hubby were moored close by and while Hubby had been 'hogging the bog' following a disagreeable take out and several bevy's the fair maid had decided to nip onto the bank in a drunken state when nature called, clad in nothing but a life jacket, lost her way, landed in a ditch or two, twisted her ankle and banged her head, when she inadvertently pulled the auto inflate cord on the life jacket, which then got snagged on a branch, so she took it off and blew the whistle to summon help from Hubby.

 

Helping the damsel back to their hire craft I banged on the side of the boat to gain Hubby's attention.

"I told you I will be finished when I'm finished' was the shouted reply.

 

Now hailing from deepest, darkest Doncaster...I have a way with words under duress and I very quickly got my message across. Soon the lady was aboard the boat and wrapped in a blanket. and I was back aboard RT to finish off the Rioja and to ponder...if a woman was going to nip ashore butt naked for a pee, why would she bother to stop and put on a life jacket...and once she had climbed ashore, butt naked, why would she wander off in search of an even more secluded spot for a pee? The answers I'm sure are logical, however as a mere man...I think that it's a two bottle of Rioja and a five roll up problem.