ranworthbreeze Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Here are some observations from my mate Ron in the USA Astute Observations· I don't do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. · I don't like political jokes. I've seen too many get elected. · The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. · If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. · Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys. · Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I've stayed alive. · No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team's winning. · Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? · Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? · Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative. · Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? · Snowmen fall from Heaven un-assembled. · Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. · I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't need the class! · Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. · Wouldn't you know it! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. · Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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