Funny things Mum taught me

[Bound2Please]

1, My Mum taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside I've just finished cleaning".

2, My Mum taught me RELIGION. "you'd better pray that will come out of the carpet".

3, My Mum taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm  going to knock you into next week".

4, My Mum taught me LOGIC. "Because I said no that's why".

5, My Mum taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that tree and break your neck, you wont be going to the shops with me".

6, My Mum taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you have an accident".

7, My Mum taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you some thing to cry about".

8, My Mum taught me about CONTORTION-ISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck".

9, My Mum taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone".

10, My Mum taught me about the science of the IMPOSSIBLE. "Shut your mouth and eat your diner".

 

Mods if this is in wrong section can you please move it.

Charlie

[deebee29]

Think my mum said all of them to us at one time or another 

 

another variation was 

If you fall over & break your legs, don't come running to me