wombat nee blownup

hope you're more active than Jiffy

Ah! Smellyloo, we've got you too! so things aren't as they appear It's for things that aren't themselves you see we think its very clear! We've come to get you Mr. Smellyloo From our home thats so far away We travel at night because we cannot catch sight of our planet during the day! Put your hand in your pocket buy a ticket for our rocket We're going home quite soon No boats and cars on planet Mars but plenty on the Moon We've read your mind You're one of our kind We need people with your ability to start a forum with a little decorum around the Sea of Tranquility Would you prefer that we defer your trip with us to the Moon You could hop off at Venus and show them your boat there'll be another ship along soon You could be our chief scout sort the galaxies out and see which would entertain us but if your not clever you'll end up with Trevor He'd like to visit Uranus So next time you choose a signature to use make sure it's not misleading! Our eyesight can zoom into your smallest room and watch while you sit there reading!!!!

You're quite right Smelly still its better than telly think of it as the twilight zone where yellow is blue and normallity is gone

????

Yesterday upon the stair I met a man who wasn't there He wasn't there again today Oh! how i wish he'd go away When i came home last night at three The man was waiting there for me But when i looked around the hall I couldn't see him there at all! Go away, go away,don't you come back any more! Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door! Last night i saw upon the stair A little man who wasn't there He wasn't there again today! Oh! i wish he'd go away. W.H.Mearns

So then, Trevors been "outed" well i never doubted his demeanor wasn't quite right it wasn't his talking but his way of walking in high heels most every night. He stopped wearing shirts and started with skirts but oh! it didn't stop there he bought bras and panties and sang funny sea shanties about sailors with lovely long hair. I feel sorry for Sue his wife fairly new she didn't bargain for this for when they were out she'd hear Trevor shout which one do i go in to p*ss Then there's the make up for this they could break up 'cos Trevor keeps using Sue s lippy he'd put on his face get his wig from a case then resemble a tired old hippy To me this is fine but i must draw the line he keeps calling me "Precious or Honey" I dont mind a bit but he keeps feeling my tit or perhaps he's just after my money. He looks pretty scary with armpits so hairy and a bra stuffed full of old socks but he's happy today for he's saved up to pay for implants just like old Sam Fox. with any luck his nip and tuck might not be so costly i'm sure but with lashes and nails and diamonte handrails he'll be the queen of the Broads and the Bure. I'll keep you updated about how we rated his op for his new mammory glands it seems very funny why he'll spend so much money on something to do with his hands.

Yes but thank goodness the other half are straight

There's a Falcon out there in need of repair with its engine all apart There's springs and nuts and fingers with cuts I wonder will it ever re start? It now lives on the table each piece with a label so Sue can remember the way that trevor can re build the engine he killed then she'll do it properly one day When it comes to re fitting in the car she'll be sitting with a shifter already to hand it's not for the motor but the head of the boater who captains a tub called Le Grand She'll sit there all night till the bloody things right cos she's due a night tied to a bank its not very funny when you've spent all your money on something thats not worth a w*^k But Sue has been clever and told her poor Trevor she cancelled his conjugal rites if that boat's not done it wont be just one but a lot of long lonely nights So trying to appease her out came the Visa and parts were ordered on line thats all i can do Trev said to his Sue now can i forego my fine She said now then chum you're under my thumb with a mind really quite cunning if that boat doesn't go by the weekend we'll know which one of us does all the running Trevor went on to sneer as he supped on his beer there's something i wanted to say you can keep the bed and the videos he said because i have turned F*^*!*G GAY

You're getting the hang of it now Denzel Fallout

Poetic license old chum (God, bet Wordsworth or Byron or Keates never had this trouble)

Theres lovely to see you isn't it

Quo and boat buddy Falcon got to Reedham one night on a cruise with them was Jiffy and Shannen and Malcom and others along for the booze. The Newcastle Brown took poor old Quo down when Jiffy heard a splash Quo had gone under where is he they wonder but Malcom was there in a flash. They all raced to the scene where Quo Vadis had been but no one could see him at all they felt in the water for an hour and a quarter but Bob didn't answer their call. Then under the dive deck they scruffed hold of his neck and pulled him onto the boat his phones and his fags were all wet in his rags for they were in his coat. With his mouth full of fish and wanting a pish he soon came round, but was sore he aked for a match and a pan for his catch and said i aint drinking no more. (Please read a few seconds for hour and a quarter) and to this day he hasnt had a drink till half past

Your friend with the schooner called Dick had better come see you real quick with your heads on the table you'll have to be able to fix Leg and Chew with a stick

very clever mr. Trevor you naughty boy it's limmericks i'm after not poems by Sri Chimnoy

There are some wearing coats who have sails on their boats and there's others with engines and heaters. Who is to choose the best way to cruise when everyones willing to greet us. There are Rangers, we need 'em and "SLOW DOWN" at Reedham but they're not the pains in the **** Its the cry of "More water" and the gap's getting shorter it's the sailboat that wont let me pass! They come like an arrow leave a gap thats too narrow and glare at you like you were s* I dont wear a coat 'cos its warm on my boat and i dont have to act like a tit I know they're quite clever to handle their craft but a thankyou would not go a miss when you plough in the bank to avoid the odd crank the next 'll get a Glasgow kiss "Give way to sail" i know is the term when out on the broads for a trip but when you're on wine trying to keep a straight line it's hard not to have one more sip They tack to and fro makes it harder to know which side they want you to pass but i have to smirk when i look at the burk "Which one's got the wet ****" The rag and stick they make me sick they think they own the water Theres a knowledge they possess which i dont i guess and maybe i really oughta Its clever the way they can sit there all day and only get one hundred metre but hats off to those who sail they chose for wind is cheaper per litre Getting bored now and my finger 's hurting. Come on poets one and all lets hear your ditties (rhymes with........................

Is this the real jiffy we all know and love

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One thing must be said in defence of Wroxham. Where else can my Mrs. find a Roys, spend a hundred quid but save me money???

Understandable

Bet you cant find that on any shelf in Asda

Easy......wife, clitit bang scrubbing brush.............DUCK!!!

Just to veer off on a tangent for a moment, I have a small warehouse from where 50+ pallets were stolen a short while ago. Could i ask you all to keep your eye out for them

Did you make it to the marina today? if so how did the anoying tapets go?

What about the labour though Trev, You know Bobs rates are above the average and now that VAT has gone up Jiffy's tea is a lot dearer.

Ah you noticed the lack of attendance by Nuclear Fallout. It no doubt would have gone ttis up if he'd been helping. You may have seen the picture of his oar that he keeps sticking in where its not wanted. "SEE he's even beaten me to a reply " Anyhoo has anywon ever thought about putting spell cheque on this sight its atroshu attrocio atrsciou terrible. Cant(phew) be down the marineer twomorrow knead two take the day of work. one off my deer old mates past over lassed week. I told him he'd like it up the north river, and that they definately do knot still eat the first born sons.