A Plea To Women!

[Timbo]

Look I appreciate the fact that blokes interests differ from those of women. I discovered this a long while ago when I stopped wearing my hearing aid. If I wear the hearing aid my Mrs seems to talk about things like perfume, handbags, shoes and what's happening in the lives of friends and relations in exquisite detail. The 'ins and outs of the cats wotsit' as my Nan would put it. If I take my hearing aid out...for some reason she seems to be talking boats, woodwork, football and fishing. Honestly I really appreciate the depth and range of her knowledge. I just wish...once in awhile...that the pertinent information was given priority.

For example, for several years we have been visiting in laws and not once...not ever...was there a mention that we have a family member that made boat canopies for a living, has all of the industrial grade machinery at home to do so, and would be more than happy to help make the new canopy for my boat!

Ladies, this is a heartfelt plea...I will be more attentive to the problems 'Our Ermintrude' has with her varicose veins or irritable bowel, or be amazed at the price 'our 'enry' paid for his conservatory...I'll even wax lyrical about the puce dress 'our Rodney' wore to 'Aunt Beulah's' wedding to 'our Rupert'...but please, please, please tell me if any of them were/are boat builders or any associated trades first!

I have it on good authority that Great Aunt Dorcas was a docker...well I'm sure Uncle Albert mentioned something about dockers thumbs.

 

[Gracie]

I don't think it's anything to do with whether you are wearing your hearing aids or not, more to do with selective hearing, something that the men in my family and it would seem on this Forum are very, very good at

Only the other day I was telling im indoors about a beautiful pair of shoes I happened upon on the internet telling him all about them, he was reading the paper and nodding as I was speaking, not even looking up from said paper, he nodded when I said they were very expensive but I would buy them anyway, now if he had been paying attention and listening properly he wouldn't be so out of pocket this very morning

A little bit of advice for you men, never, ever pretend you are listening or interested in what your ladies have to say, always listen intently, it could set you back a bob or two if you don't, as im indoors found out to his cost

Grace

 

[Timbo]

16 minutes ago, Gracie said:

I don't think it's anything to do with whether you are wearing your hearing aids or not, more to do with selective hearing, something that the men in my family and it would seem on this Forum are very, very good at

A little bit of advice for you men, never, ever pretend you are listening or interested in what your ladies have to say, always listen intently, it could set you back a bob or two if you don't, as im indoors found out to his cost

Grace

 

Its not so much selective hearing Gracie...we've just nodded off! It's conversations like this that do it...

"You know that bloke on the corner? The one whose wife wears those skin tight striped leggings and she really shouldn't. You know the one whose sister married the brother of that woman that works in the Coop with the dodgy eyebrow. Mind, he was a wrong 'un always in trouble. He used to pal about with that bloke that worked in the post office, mind he was a laugh. He was a friend of wotsit, you know the bloke who drives that white van that lives by the football ground.  You know the bloke, his wife ran off with his best friend. Mind you could see that coming a mile off, she was no better than she ought to be. Anyway he's working at the golf club now, but he says he's enjoying himself. It's nice up there, apart from where they've built all those houses. So how much do you think it will cost?"

"What?"

"The repairs to your car where that bloke reversed into it!" 

You see Gracie it's the order of information. Tell us about the shoes first and we fall asleep. Tell us about how much you are spending and I assure you the reply will be instantaneous!

[JennyMorgan]

That reminds me of a conversation between two Suffolk ladies sat in front of me on a bus.

"Your grandson, what a doddy little old boy he is. He do grow, don't he.

Yes, he do grow, he do.

Your'e right, he do grow, he really do, don't he.

He do.

Yes, he do grow, he do".

And so it went on, over several miles to the next village.

I took my life in my hands by asking, as they stood up to disembark, 'do he grow, do he really?' I live to tell the tale!

[BroadScot]

16 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said:

took my life in my hands by asking, as they stood up to disembark, 'do he grow, do he really?' I live to tell the tale!

Do all who live in Oulton Broad, carry a death wish ? Brave man JM, very brave indeed!!!