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Everything posted by Timbo

  1. Is there anybody there? Is there anybody there? Keep your fingers on the glass!" said Madame Zaza. "You don't think for one minute my digit is leaving my beer glass sweet lady?" asked Maurice Mynah. "I've telled thee...spit it art yer thieving tyke!" yelled Griff wringing the last drop of beer from the gnat that had inadvertently landed in his pint. "It's no good!" wailed Doug. "It's like being in the mafia!" "I say! Steady on!" said Maxwellian in between sips of his Shirley Temple. "Well, it is!" Doug continued. "Like a National Park!" Jenny Morgan put in. "I beg to differ!" said BatraBill "hang on, what is?" "No, it's really like the mafia. Once you know secrets they'll never let you leave! Doug moaned. "What you mean...like the Masons all secret handshakes and rubber chickens?" asked Maurice Mynah. "I don't know what you mean!" said WildFuzz rolling his trouser leg down before resuming his seat quickly which produced a squeak. "No...being a boat builder. Once they find out you can fix things they never let you go!" "I don't want to rock the boat or anything chaps but who is this Madam Za-za?" asked Maxwellian. "She was supposed to bringing the cake trolley out when she tried to purloin my beer!" said Maurice Mynah trying to wrench his pint glass from the hands of the waitress without spilling a drop. "What? There's cake?" asked Doug forgetting his worries. "Any ice cream?" asked Dave. Well, that's bout number three of pneumonia this year over and done with. I feel like a three-day-old kitten...all claws and fuzz and liable to swing off various bits of curtaining and anatomy...but I'm back up again. They pulled out the fancy drugs this time but it seems to have worked. Give me over the weekend to get rested up and I'll be ready to rumble! I suppose not so much a rumble as a whining droney sound with a Lincolnshire/Yorkshire accent. Anyone miss me?
  2. Timbo

    Depth & Speed Log

    "Left hand down a bit!"
  3. Timbo

    I Still Ain't Deaded!

    ...and I still ain't deaded! A happy and prosperous New Year to all! Christmas was a quiet affair here at Timbo Towers. I was excited to see 'Madness' would be performing for New Year's Eve...then cringed every time they went off key. I had my usual moan at the crap music they play to accompany the firework display. The whole of musical history to go at and they come up with computer-generated drivel. Just shows how old I'm getting! Talking of which... ...woke up on New Year's Day to open birthday presents....and thanks for the birthday wishes much appreciated! Warm socks, good wine and fragrances from Creed and Tom Ford to add to my ever-growing collection. I'm not so much slipping into my dotage as running over the cliff of senility shouting 'yippee' on my way down. My floppy eared ginger nursemaids have earned their dog biscuits over the last few days as I slowly succumbed to another infection. Dylan, number one beagle, is always the first to react and he camped out on my lap for two days before Toby his twin joined in. 'Oh crap!'. Forty-eight hours in bed with the ginger hot water bottles taking it in turn to babysit me. By lunchtime yesterday, I had both of them cuddled up as I shivered and shook although I was burning up. On a normal day, I feel as though I have the worst hangover you can imagine, but yesterday... Five thirty this morning and I woke up. Toby pottered off to the living room and Dylan climbed off the bed and crawled under it. I checked the obituaries on my phone. Let's face it, if I had carked it in the night there was no way I was making the effort to get out of bed...even if Ian does email me on forum business two hours before dawn...but as my nursemaids had left me to my own devices and the BBC had not reported my demise I got out of bed and put the kettle on. Old Brown Java coffee freshly ground helped the morning tablets slide down. Annoy Ian on the phone, take Ellie to work, sit in the Tesco carpark to write this missive (without internet at the minute thanks to the cable being cut) and I'm heading back home. SSS then choose today's fragrance. Today I will mostly be wearing...Zadig & Voltaire. Vanilla, incense, grapefruit in the top and sandalwood in the base!
  4. Timbo

    Tudor Reformation

    Someone pointed out the other day that I have bits and bobs about Royal Tudor scattered over several different threads on the NBN and between Twitbook, TubeFace and YouTwit. "What's happening?" they cried. "one minute you're in a hotel the next sleeping under a bush, you're in Norfolk one weekend, Lincolnshire on Friday, back in Norfolk on the Saturday and Sunday you are in Lincolnshire again!" "Calm down Ellie!" I said. "Can't a bloke indulge in his hobby once in a while? It's not like I've done anything reckless like buying a wooden boat or anything!" So for folks interested in my general ramblings and toing and froing around Norfolk and Lincolnshire, they will find my burbling, ramblings and brain farts in the 'Tramping' thread, and for my woodworking and all things with the actual work being done on Royal Tudor you're going to have to ask Doug find them on this thread here. Now then a quick recap on the story so far. Sand, sand, sand, fill, fill, fill, paint, paint, paint and then the old girl was left high and dry. So we loaded her on a lorry and took her somewhere where they know about wooden boats. Uncle Albert throws a spanner in the works and then...look there's so much that's happened and is happening that I might get all of this out of order. My role in the proceedings is to try and learn as much as I can, get on with the more tedious jobs, make coffee and stand around with an expression I borrowed from a stunned gnu. "I'm a gnu, how do you do?". You can blame the Hockham Admiral for putting that particular ear worm into my head! As she currently stands Royal Tudor has had six planks replaced on her port side. Has had various bits of her cabin replaced including the whole of the bow section and we are about to replace the aft port cabin side. Her engine is being taken out for cleaning and servicing and so we can clean the bilges. She's having a new calorifier, heating system and fuel tank fitted. There's a new fridge and cooker for the galley as well as a new toilet...fit for a Queen. That's Watson btw. While Doug has been doing the hard work of fitting planks etc I've been sanding, filling and making new cockpit sides. I'm now moving on to my hardest solo joinery project and making the new aft doors for Royal Tudor. Historically RT has had a sliding door as access to the aft cabin from the stern well. This was a heavy, clunky and impractical affair made from a single sheet of marine ply spray painted white. Not to mention draughty and dare I say it, I'll risk it, a bit ugly! We are going to replace this sliding door with two bi-fold doors, with glass in the top panels and solid wood in the bottom panels. I recently took the opportunity to photograph Broad Ambition's aft doors, as the design I've come up with will be very similar to these. So with the old door removed, it's time to start drawing up plans for the frame and door that is going to replace it. I have a mind like a computer you know. You have to punch information into me. Especially the kind that has to do with numbers. The original idea was to build a door frame into the aperture between the two aft bulkheads. I took all of the measurements that I needed...and then got to thinking perhaps there's a better way that won't reduce the size of the aperture. So redesigning everything I took a day trip with my future father in law, and Watson's Dad, Ben Gunn to remeasure everything again. Back at home, I realised I did not have the correct measurements still, don't get me started, and Doug had to come to the rescue. So I'm currently at the drawing plans to scale stage. I'm using a piece of scrap 3mm ply to draw out the components to scale. The only section I have not mapped out is the middle rail. This is because I'm still hunting door furniture in the shape of a polished chrome rim lock with doorhandle. As with anything else with 'marine' in front of it a marine grade rim lock (smaller than the standard household type) makes the price jump from around £15 to £60! SO if anyone has any suggestions of where to buy such an item I would be most grateful. The timber to make the new doors has been delivered, I have eight 8' by 8" by 3/4" planks of some quite beautifully figured Sapele. Dylan is not too happy that his dinner bowl has been moved out of the way to accommodate them! So tomorrow I start planing and cutting timber starting with the frame so I can fit the doors accurately...right after a visit to the dentist.
  5. Dropping Ellie back off at work after lunch I popped into the local newsagents to be confronted by...a display of Christmas Stocking Fillers, selection boxes and various other Christmas fayre including mistletoe and Santa hats...and advent calendars. This was not just some local business having a clearout. Oh no, this is a national chain of shops. It is AUGUST for crying out loud! The kids are still on their summer holidays. So I did something I rarely do and spread a little summer Ebeneezer around. Christmas starts on the 24th of December, not a day earlier, and lasts for twelve days and ends. I then bought humbugs, cancelled all of my magazine and newspaper subscriptions and left the premises never to set foot through the door again. Rant over...pass me a Pims?
  6. Devastating news Alan. Ellie's and my thoughts are with you and your family and should you need us please do shout out. Tim and Ellie x
  7. Timbo


    Having put my teeth in my back pocket for safe keeping, then forgotten where I had put them, then in a half starved temper tantrum throwing myself into the chair and biting my own backside on the process...it was more than a nip I tell you! Welcome aboard!
  8. Timbo

    Enough Is Enough Already!

    Happy Hanukkah!
  9. Timbo

    I Still Ain't Deaded!

    No...I still ain't deaded! Although they have been trying hard! Here's a quick update from Timbo Towers. As many of you know, I've suffered the occasional stroke since 2001. A total of twenty-one so far. The last at the beginning of this year was in a different part of the brain to the usual and was right in the pain centre. If you imagine the worse hangover you've ever had...that's how I've been feeling twenty-four hours a day, every day since February. It can get a bit wearing and had put a dent in my usually sunny disposition. Another bout of pneumonia didn't do me a world of good. But a corner has been turned and I'm glad to say I'm firing on at least two cylinders now, one more than my flaming car, so brace yourselves! Uncle Mike and Aunty Pat have been keeping their eyes on me, Griff has popped in, Ian rings me up at some gods awful time in the morning to wake me up, Mike rings me in the afternoon during my nap to wake me up and Psychic Surveyor is on night watch for when I've gone past sleep! In the meantime, I do keep an eye on the forum and Facebook pages, ever watchful for the mention of 'The Great Estuary Theory'! I picked up some chatter at the YouTube creator conference. YouTube is doing a lot of 'blowing', however, 'blow' is all they are doing. Behind the scenes, they are making some drastic changes to bring their platform in line with Articles 11, 12a and 13. They have no choice. If they block Europe and UK then another platform will step in and take over and that will be disastrous for YouTube.
  10. Timbo

    Enough Is Enough Already!

    Well...just 17 days to go now! ;)
  11. I'm enjoying this thread very much. We used to have an archaeology storage facility next door to a stained glass craftsman's workshop. Absolutely fascinating and intricate work. More please Helen!
  12. Timbo

    I Still Ain't Deaded!

    Possessed? Me or Grendel? If it's me you're talking about there's too many 's's', too many 'e''s' and nowhere near enough 'i''s' for what I am!
  13. Timbo

    I Still Ain't Deaded!

    Here's a handy diagram for educational purposes from the National Archives Vaughan...© Crown copyright 2013 Edited to add a quotation... The copyright owner’s rights are not unlimited and once they have expired the copyright owner has no control at all. You may use an ‘insubstantial part’ of a copyright work in any way you like. A substantial part is not defined, but can mean quite a small part if that is the essence or an important part of the whole. Anything up to perhaps 5% (or in a few cases even more) of the whole might be insubstantial, but less than that quantity could easily be substantial if it is qualitatively important. Mona Lisa’s smile is certainly a substantial part of Leonardo’s painting. The most useful exceptions to copyright are called ‘fair dealing’. To qualify as fair dealing, what you do must be fair to the copyright owner, which means, among other things, not using too much and not damaging his commercial interests or his normal use of the work, and you must acknowledge the author and give the title of the work. Also, what you do must fall into one of the following categories: private study - this means study for your own benefit, though the general knowledge gained might be useful to you for other purposes non-commercial research - this might include research for a non-commercial publication (one which will not make any money), such as some academic research. However, it will not include anything for which you or anyone else will receive a financial or equivalent return, and nor will it include research for a body (even a charity) which will use it to receive a return criticism or review - such as a review of a book. The criticism or review does not have to be favourable, but it must be of a work or works (not necessarily the one quoted) and the comments made must be much more extensive than the quotation current news reporting - such as quotation in a newspaper or on the radio. However, you may not use a photograph for this purpose. Basically...I think you are covered Vaughan!
  14. Timbo

    I Still Ain't Deaded!

    Just call me Moist...get ready to buy some sizzle!
  15. Timbo

    I Still Ain't Deaded!

    As of yet, everything is as it always has been. However, the EU and the UK have ratified the new articles to the EU's copyright directive but this has not yet passed into law. It will do so within the next year and will then will pass into UK law in the next two years or sooner if we do as I anticipate and just adopt EU law wholesale. Not quite. What it will mean is that links will be only able to show one or two words of an article. If you read many of the links that float around social media then you will know that they contain the headline and a good section of the text to whet your appetite. Under the new directives that would be not allowed without coughing up money. The directive stipulates 'one or two words' of the text. You would think so, and there has been an attempt made to provide an exemption for “legitimate private and non-commercial use of press publications by individual users,”. However, the whole thing is full of holes and open to interpretation. Particularly as those trying to protect their copyright and platforms trying to avoid paying license fees will be using filters and not human beings to sift posts it would double our amount of work behind the scenes as small platforms like us could and probably would end up in the middle of it all. So just as a hypothetical...say the EDP runs a piece on the demolition of THAT Bridge with the headline "THAT BRIDGE to be DEMOLISHED". If we ran a thread with the title "That Bridge to be Demolished" and a post included a link to the article...then we would pay. If we ran a thread saying Potter Heigham bridge to be demolished...fine so far. If the post said 'There's an article in the EDP here' with 'here' the word used as the link...still OK. But should someone say 'I don't do Facebook and can't read it or I can't get the link' and some helpful soul copies and pastes the article...then we pay. If we discuss the merits of the article...fine, if we quote for a point in an argument...fine, as long as it falls in line within correct academic standards... To be honest Bill, I think the whole proposal is so much cobblers designed to milk as much cash as possible for the old media moguls as they can get. Although I attended a YouTube conference for larger channel creators recently and to a certain extent I could see how many people out there are raking in a living from other peoples hard work. Endless creators jamming together clips from feature films to illustrate things like 10 things you didn't know about the latest Hollywood Blockbuster, which I think is wrong. As I say, at the minute there are no changes as the articles have not come into law...yet. Another couple of years. But it will mean some big changes for the likes of YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and to a certain extent us. For us, I think it will be more in the way that we illustrate our arguments and type our posts and links.
  16. Timbo

    I Still Ain't Deaded!

    I have not really been anywhere as I've been watching the antics of the NBN both on the forum and facebook daily. I get the updates from the various NBN backroom musings as they happen and comment when needed. Aunty Pat and Uncle Mike keep a close eye on me and I have been doing some odd jobs of work on behalf of the NBN. One of the jobs was wading through the current guff on the European Union Directive on Copyright in the Digital Single Market. Particularly articles 11, 12a and 13 which will affect us directly. Basically, all this article is saying is that any websites that host large amounts of user-generated content, such as the NBN, are responsible for taking down that content if it infringes on copyright. So, if one of our beloved members posts a meme or an image, video, or cuts and pastes any copyrighted material then the NBN would be legally responsible for removing that copyrighted content and liable to pay any related royalties. An earlier version of the amendment also mentions that we would have to 'automate' this process to scan every piece of content uploaded to the forum and stop anything that might violate copyright from being uploaded. It gets worse. Article 11 dubbed the 'Link Tax' means that if anyone posts anything from any news organisation then that organisation may "obtain fair and proportionate remuneration for the digital use of their press publications by information society service providers". That means us by the way. Although there are exemptions in the articles that may cover us as an organisation, everything is still very much up in the air. I don't know about anyone else but I'm fairly sure I don't want to have to cough up NBN funds to finance what passes for journalism in the local Norfolk rags? 12a deals with photographs taken at sporting events...such as oh, yacht races etc. The articles are not European Law yet and all of this depends on how the directive is interpreted by member states when they make it into national law. In our case, everything also hinges on the unhinged, chinless, gormless and clueless of all political persuasions at Westminster. But I would like to keep the NBN ahead of the game with legislation. Anyone who wants to get a good night's sleep will find the full amendments here . Yes please, Griff but I've still got to dig it out of the pile of guff in the shed, which is under the pile of guff left when they fitted my new windows. I think I've turned into one of those hoarder type people in need of what Uncle Albert called an 'up, bung and stuff' session. Right...back to bed! Tiring day today with Grandson Arlo (7 months) who is all blonde hair, blue eyes and full of cold and really poorly but was doing his best to smile and laugh for me while we played 'am I gonna give you some 'fump' today. This involves me asking him 'Do you wish to partake of the ancient art of fisticuffs' while I roll up my sleeves and prance around ducking and weaving threatening to 'give you some fump' while avoiding Grandma helping Arlo to give me an uppercut. For his part, Arlo gives you beaming smiles to show off his five new teggies then chortling when I fall over when his fist connects with my kisser. This was followed by collecting granddaughter Gracie (6 going on 36) from school to stay overnight. Call from the back seat of the car that 'this is boring' when Tony Robinson began to read Terry Pratchett on the CD player were soon turned to giggles as 'Vimes' read 'Where's my cow'.
  17. Timbo

    Danger.. I've Had An Idea.. Danger

    Dave will come back with a list of chocolate and ice cream shops you know?
  18. Timbo

    Coffee Anyone?

    Dear Cecil, I have two of the above mentioned 'coffee engines' at home. Or I 'had' two of the coffee engines. They produce superb coffee and one is able to detect the slightest nuance of the coffee blend used. They suit a more robust blend of beans and their design makes getting rid of the coffee grounds much much easier. My dearest Cecil, were you to purchase a coffee engine then prepare for steamy...coffee...as the engine produces coffee that is still hot when brewed and remains hot well into your second cup...unlike the cafetiere! The drawback of the coffee engine, Cecil, is that it does not like 'hard' water. The bottom pot and the pressure valve can quickly clog with limescale...and if the valve blocks then BANG! My current state of being 'engineless' is due to my former house-elf George, who took it upon herself to clean both my one mug and two mug engine of limescale by pouring undiluted bleach into the aluminium pots. She left the pots to soak at the back of a cupboard. Now George is famous for 'putting my things in a safe place so I can easily find them'. For example, she took my false teeth out of the pot in the bathroom and placed them in the kitchen cupboard next to the pickled onions, because 'you like to eat pickled onions'. Ahem! Back to the coffee pots. After a week of hunting for my coffee engines and unable to find them I purchased a cafetiere. Several months went by and my coffee engines reappeared. So I made a pot of coffee. Now Martin may be able to tell us exactly what happened chemically but I am lead to believe that... Chlorine and aluminium do not react until aluminium is heated. George had not emptied the aluminium engine, the bleach had dried to the inner surface. When you heat aluminium and chlorine...by putting the coffee pot on the stove then a vigorous reaction occurs. A white powder formed on the surfaces of parts of the engine which I am lead to believe is called aluminium chloride which fumes in the air, forming a white powder which reacts with water and forms HCI gas and aluminium oxide. So Cecil dearest, the coffee is wonderful. Just don't let George clean the pots...I will get another coffee engine just as soon as I have bought a new cooker!
  19. Timbo

    Constellation 3?

    "Externally it has been protected by a West System technique applied during the rebuild." Right...so they have epoxied the wood? No thanks.
  20. Timbo

    Doctor Who

    I've been a big fan of Dr Who since I was small enough to hide behind the sofa. My favourite doctor? Has to be David Tennant. Great actor, great scripts. Will I watch the new series? Nah. The reason? It was the little missive from the show's researchers telling us how they will be using the show as a 'vehicle' to 'teach us a correct perspective of history'. Er...no. Was I bothered by the regeneration as a woman...nah, old hat, been done before in the previous series. Same old, same old. Now make the doctor black, asian...or even ginger...that would have put the cat among the pigeons! For the science fiction buff, there are some far better films and TV series about to hit various screens in the next year. There's Bird Box from the novel by Josh Malerman. Directed by academy award winning director Susanne Bier it's a 'post-apocalyptic movie that follows the story of a woman and a pair of children who are blindfolded and have to survive 20 miles of a river using only their other senses. One of my favourite science fiction books of all time is getting the film treatment. Rendezvous with Rama by Arthur C Clarke. Stargate is going to be relaunched! Meanwhile in TV series land... I'm looking forward to the UK release of Castle Rock. A whole host of Stephen King characters lumped into one series! Good Omens..the bungling of Armageddon by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, starring Michael Sheen and David Tennant. The Lord of the Rings TV series...will they butcher it...again? Currently in production is the War of the Worlds, set in Edwardian London...looks good! Outside of Scifi, I'm looking forward to the television adaptation of Umberto Eco's novel 'The Name of the Rose' into a mystery series due out in 2019. So...to be honest, the world of Geek is looking fine and dandy without the BBC's best efforts. You all did know I'm a geek? Just checking...
  21. Timbo


    Dear Cole, I don't think there is the need for Commotions, after all, Jennifer She Said that being sober results in Perfect Skin reducing the chances of a lost weekend. I have to admit that frequenting the occasional hostelry can result in A Brand New Friend. St John
  22. Timbo


    Dear Sir, *Cough *rasp *wheeze the correct modern terminology to use is 'vitally challenged'! A snuffist is a professional snuff-taker, although I can see how confusion can occur. My Aunt Maud was the captain of the Stalham Spinster Snufflers Formation Snuff Snorting Side in the late 1920's. Sadly she became vitally challenged during the 1929 final when she accidentally sneezed having consumed two vindaloos and three pints of Pernod during the semi-final celebrations the previous night. Due to her smoking a woodbine at the time of the incident the coroner had a hard time finding the cause of her being vitally challenged and therefore recorded it as a tobacco-related injury. The term 'snuffed it' was coined in his final report and refers to the 'means' and not the result. I hope this has given you some insight. Yours faithfully St John Goitscuttle Crene-Smith
  23. Not particularly my friend, antibiotics not working and I just cannot seem to shift this one. Back with the mountebank first thing this morning to try something different, then back to bed!
  24. Should we be using shina, birch or marine, and are we accepting the edict of the Council of Nicaea and going with the vernal as opposed to the autumnal?

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