Fractured Toes And Fingers!

[Timbo]

Pottering about in my shed earlier today I could hear the new neighbours two doors down talking.I had just raised my hammer to hit a nail when I heard something that caused me to

1 Hit my fingers with the hammer

2 Not register the pain

3 Open my mouth so wide as my jaw hit the floor that

4 I almost swallowed the hammer before

5 It dropped on my toes!

The woman had been talking about her forthcoming 28th birthday party and talking to the new born baby, I had assumed was her daughter, asked it

"Who's coming to Grandma's 28th birthday party den?"  I mean...W     T     F?

[ExSurveyor]

God help baby chlamydia when she grows up 

[grendel]

might I suggest earplugs, whilst working to avoid distraction,

I was once adjusting the brushes on a running motor with a screwdriver when my mother stuck her head around the corner, and said, is that safe?, of course I was distracted so my finger slipped and touched the live screwdriver blade and gave myself a shock, my answer, not when you surprise me it isnt...

[ChrisB]

Ever since I first heard "The Lincolnshire Poacher" I knew it must be a very sporting county!