Poppy

Apparently the oldest condoms ever found date back to the 1640s. That's nothing! Let me just get my wallet....

The fastest sending off in a football match was awarded to Lee Todd. 0.01 seconds after the referee blew his whistle to start the match, player Lee Todd of Cross Farm Park Celtic shouted, "**** me, that was loud!", and was immediately given a red card.

BroadScot, looks like you'd best keep some filo pasty in the cupboard http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3108865/Scottish-Parliament-goes-posh-deep-frying-Mars-Bars-filo-pastry.html :naughty: :party:

Ranworthbreeze will be along shortly..... best put on

A pal was once in hospital in Glasgow. A nurse came to his bedside and handed him a glass of water and said " here, take these". He must have looked a little puzzled because shae urged him, saying " it's your meds". "That's OK," he replied, " It's just that I've never seen battered meds before" :hardhat:

I had battered haggis 'n chips once in Scotland- but nothing unusual in that - surprisingly the chips weren't battered ..... :naughty:

Oh, and I agree about Renault. Had one of them on the company too. Even worse now since the merger with Nissan I believe!

I've run my present C5 for 88000 miles without ANYTHING 'dropping off', no oil leaks, Averageng a gallon of diesel ever 45'5 miles over its life and apart from tyres ,some windscreen wiper rubbers ans one new window mechanism there has only been the cost of routine servicing. You keep on 'dissing 'em all you like, it makes a late used Citroen remarkable value. On the other hand, the Ford Mondeo which preceded it cost £2.5 K before it reached 55000 miles! As for 'Germans' , had two as company cars and VOWED NEVER to run my own!

On Tuesday, I shall be changing one of these https://www.google.com/search?q=citroen+c5+estate&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=T1JrVe-2JObT7Qb71oCgCw&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=639#imgrc=TfEbL6JyPFPJ_M%253A%3BE18Fo63iMYKLnM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fcdn1.autoexpress.co.uk%252Fsites%252Fautoexpressuk%252Ffiles%252Fstyles%252farticle_main_image%252Fpublic%252F1-c5-front-tracking_0.jpg%253Fitok%253DmkkuY_8h%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.autoexpress.co.uk%252Fcitroen%252Fc5%252Ftourer%3B420%3B280 for one of these https://www.google.com/search?q=citroen+ds5+d+sport&biw=1366&bih=639&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=q1JrVbTxN_iSsQS_1IG4BQ&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#imgrc=Dt8ONSrdAawqmM%253A%3BMJoTAFrtP2xHGM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fi.ebayimg.com%252F00%252Fs%252FNDE4WDY0MA%253D%253D%252Fz%252FtlkAAOSw8d9UwDuu%252F%2524_1.JPG%253Fset_id%253D880000500F%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.cheapusedvehicles.net%252Ffor-sale%252F2014-citroen-ds5-dsport-hdi%3B400%3B261. We have had Citroens for years.

But GERMAN cars...... That seems to be a bridge more easily crossed for many French haters......

I bet you'd all drink a nice drop of Vin rouge though - as long as you weren't paying......

Strange 'principle,. Sounds vaguely racist to me !

Remember - My enemies enemy is not always my friend.......

And your problem is????? :shocked

https://www.aldi.co.uk/en/specialbuys/sun-31-may/product-detail/ps/p/petit-salcassoulet-3/?pk_campaign=uk_product_newsletter&pk_kwd=2015-05-29_17-24 If you haven't tried these, they are brilliant! Just heat and serve with some french bread. Quick, filling and tasty!

USE SUNSCREEN!!! Take a look at this video. Five minutes of your life could save it - or that of a loved one. https://youtu.be/_4jgUcxMezM

I do thoroughly recommend (From personal experience) the 'World Whisky Tour at the English whisky Distillery to any who haven't been. It has to be just about the best thirty quid's worth anywhere! https://www.englishwhisky.co.uk/the-distillery/our-tours When they say - bring a driver, believe me THEY MEAN IT!

I have 'Windguru', free, and gives reliable wind/weather info for various Broads sailing locations eg. Thurne Mouth, Barton Broad, Hickling amongst others.

And where are the mooring warps ? !!

..... there is anybody enterprising enough to offer one of these on The Broads? http://www.runnymedehotel.com/boats/hottug/ :naughty:

Many may not be aware that there is a 'watch point' situated in the Cathedral Close where visitors may see the peregrines ( when they are at home ) through high powered scopes. The point is manned daily ( weather permitting) from 10.00 am until approx. 4.00pm by volunteers prepared to answer questions and tell of the latest news. It's a short walk from Norwich yacht station.

I will also offer help - except that my insurance specifically precludes towing, apart from a dingy, a clause which I understand to be not uncommon. Sadly most seem to have missed the point of my original reply, which has created so much heat, and very little illumination. The example I gave was of somebody who should have known better about what was happening - and didn't, since their training had clearly been inadequate! I would certainly not be abusive in such a situation - I only thought the Ranger was a d**k head. When offered a tow by motor boaters in similar circumstances I refuse politely. Why should I do otherwise? Incidentally, are hire boats permitted to tow under the terms of their hire?

The Ranger was clearly mystified that I needed no help. My point is simply that with one person seated in the cockpit and another calmly going about their business there was no case. In fact, I thought I was about to get a bo*****ing for 'damaging the reeds.' Is it unreasonable to expect somebody who is tasked 'to promote safety.' to have a rudimentary (at least) understanding of what those boats with big sticks and white flappy things do? To be fair, this was early in the summer of the year that all Rangers had to 'reapply' for their jobs, and the policy was that 50% of the jobs went to those previous employed as 'Countryside ' rangers, most of whom had "only been on a boat to get to their place of work" (quote from a 'River Ranger ' at the time.)

Different circumstances - different boats. I too would have offered help in that situation. However, the wind on the day to which I refer was a gentle F2, and my engine was gently chugging away holding us in place. The pint I was making is that many can not be expected to know, whilst others damned well should !. After all isn't that part of what they are paid for?

Proveded said 'Saily' isn't head to wind in the reeds and himself ( or herself ) is on the foredeck hoisting or lowering sail, I think hardly any would be offended. If however assistance was offered in the situation described, the first thought that would come to mind is 'what a d**k! '. It did to me when a BA ranger offered help...... :shocked