On Me Wall Again

Wussername · July 17, 2018

It was a funny old day yesterday in Norfolk. Blast me that were hot, I dint know what to do with meself what with her a naggen on an on about all the things that need doin. So I though wot I’ll do is have a little sit under me new gazebo. (My last one blew away last year onto Halvergate marsh somewhere). Well as soon as I got settled that started. No not her, Rodgers bloody combine, I knew suffin was up cos everytime he goes backwards in it a loud siren goes orf to tell anyone daft enough not to stand behind it. Well you never saw nuffin loike it A gret old cloud of chaff come out of the thing…………..and fell on me and me new gazebo, and that’s not all, half on it went in me cup of tea that she hed brought me. Well I sed to her I sed come on together I’m orf to Reedham I sed. And so orf we went. To sit on me wall.

Well when I got there I hed to go roight down the end, past the Nelson to park me car, you know the bit nearest the bridge. Well no sooner had I got settled than she sed to me she sed we wunt stop long she said cos we hed got a lot to do. I think that she does it on purpose to wind me up I do.

The quay was a full of boats, all shapes and sizes, and the tide that wus a cumin in loike I’ve never seen afore. That wus goin so fast some of them boats goin up river could hardly steer and those goin down river well some on em hardly made any head way at all, at all.

Now that what I’m about to tell you is the honest truth. In front of me was one of those here picnic boats I dunt know why they call them picnic boats. How the hell do you have a picnic on a boat, there int no where to lay your rug and everyone to sit round it is there?

Oi did not believe me eyes. On this boat there was a load of young uns together with an older women. There wuz 2 boys and 2 girls the rest of em bein in the pub. Well they hed all put their swimmin gear on. Trunks and bikinis and all that malarkey. And that’s not all they all had large rubber rings loike you see on a beach. Well I thought that’s a grand old do. I hint never seen anything loike it in me life. They then started to go down the heading to find a space between a boat to get in the water. Now as I said afore, that tide was a runnen fast, they wont had stood a chance. Fust of all they would have been swept up river as soon as they hed got in. And another thing how would they hev got out? Not on the quay or the reed banks further up river and no man or beast would hev been able to have swum against that tide. It would have been all hell up.

I dint no wot to do. So I sed to her I sed I think that I ort to have a word I sed, and she sed “if you wish darling.”

I wuz just about to say my bit when a long came that new quay assistant bloke. Now that was ~~fourternut~~ ~~fortinut fortunit~~ lucky, cos he has his lunch break up until two a clock. Now I thought that he would hev bin in a bit of a lather with them a wanting to go for a swim orf his quay. But all he sed to them wuz if you go in you wont get out and I wont go in for you. They started to moan but he dint hev any onit and he sed to them he sed get back on the boat he sed.

Now wunt that a rummin!