Paul

I do a lot of shopping from the Chinese market but would not recommend the tablets. Build quality is very poor. They even make iPad's look good (if that's possible). You can pick up a kosher, EU approved and certified branded tablet from Argos and the likes for less than £70 and enjoy such luxuries as a manufacturers warranty and local returns.

and the first two men shown in bed together ..... Morecambe and Wise

T'was I that suggested that a deal had been struck to open the Berney for the main season, in fact that was over a fortnight ago and that rumour suggested it would be open by now. I guess there may be more work to do than expected. If the "tennants" are who it was purported to be then the pub should be reasonably well run.

far from it on our boat (or in the carvan when we are using that), I'm head cook, but Elaine does make the tea

I think it's the thought of what they were waving that has Iain worried

not so much nude cruising, but we did once follow Bucaneer up the Bure with a party of young ladies aboard, all sunbathing topless on deck. It was in the days of the River Inspector, who, on seeing the crew so unclad pulled the boat over. Are we doing anything wrong the ladies asked Well there are just a couple of points I'd like to cover, came the reply

And did you know that peanuts are not nuts at all, rather they are members of the Legume family, effectively they are beans. Coming back to the Bull question, and the collection of that substance required to make little bulls, I understand the process involves a large rubber sheath, effectively a massive condom. That reminds me of story from the World War II, prior to the entry of the United States when they were still openly trading with Nazi Germany. The German Government, in an attempt to frighten off the Americans made an order for condms for their soldiers. Each was to be fifteen inches in length and six in girth. On receiving the order the Alabama factory duly completed it, with each of the profilactic devices neatly wrapped in it's then waxed wrapper, and stamped with the mark "size: MEDIUM"

There are many less well known punctuation marks, (for those raised during the SMS era, punctuation is something added to text to make it easier to read, to add accentuation or assist prose) my favourite has to be the "SarcMark", invented by Paul Sak to indicate a phrase or statement intedned to be sarcastic.

The Code of Hammurabi decreed that bartenders who watered down beer would be executed. you see, some people did have common sense, once upon a time.

This toy is generally considered to be the inspiration behind actual plastic surgery which is now available. An inflatable bladder is included alongside a silica shaping implant, the bladders being inlfated by a small rubber bulb implanted under the armpit. I used to work with a girl who had such surgery performed. Each time she flapped her arm, approximately one inch was added to her bust. Sadly, it ll ended in near tragedy at the office Christmas Party. She arrived as a respectable 36C but after two chorus's of the Birdy Dance was reported to be "at least a 48GG"

Just to clarify, the Executor of a will has no authority to make changes to it, with or without the agreement of the beneficiaries. I know this for fact as I was called to execute a will recently where the spouse of a deceased child of the testator was not included in the will. The three remaining beneficiaries all agreed that the person originally omitted should receive an equal share of the capital assets of the will, however after taking legal advice I was advised that making such a change was not in my power and the will was settled in accordance with the testators written testament and the three beneficiaries each made a private settlement on the "spouse". The executor has power to make judgement calls on occasions where the provision of the testament is unclear, but should this be necessary it is best to agree this course with all interested parties and have them sign a oath at an approved commisioners in order to protect the executor from any future charge of Failure to Discharge a Fiduciary Duty should one of those parties subsequently change their mind. Listing a "wish" in a will is not legally binding, in fact a decent solicitor would not have drafted such a will, the correct process would have been to place a covenant on the property at the time of drawing up the will. This would not absolutley protect the land but would have made it more difficult for the RSPB to use it contrary to the original owners wish. They would need a court to lift the covenant, and that court would need a compelling reason to do so. That said, if the land was willed to the RSPB on the grounds that the testator wished it to be protected in perpetuity then the RSPB should respect that. If they no longer wish to manage the land then they should enact that covenant and sell it with the protection in place. It will of course be worth only a fraction of the price. The other alternative they had was to decline the gift. It is not the place for the RSPB to decide that other places might be of greater value and dispose of this land. It was obviously special to it's previous owner who made the wish that IT, and not some moorland or fen many miles away should be protected. Neither is it the place of the will's original executor or beneficiries to pass comment on what the testator might or might not have wanted. What she wanted was made clear in the will, albeit, it would seam, in a manner which was not legally binding. Totally shoddy and underhand practice from a totally shoddy and underhand organisation, IMHO. Anyway, what do they need the money for, financing a certain legal action about the naming of a National Park family member perhaps?

thank you for that Poppy, the red card bit. Haven't laughed so hard in years.

thats the going rate

keifsmate - does your family have any experience of the Well Creek. That is one of the first places we want to take our "little doggie" once she is all spruced up.

I do recall, during my "debate" with that afforementioned suited wonder, and his quizzing me as to why I was so hostile to the Sandford Principle being enacted on the broads he gave me some figures about how many times it had been invoked in other national parks. I forget the actual figures but it was along the lines of twice in all the years of the Peak District, never in the Brecon Beacons, Pembrokeshire, here, there and somewhere else and eight times or something like in the Lake District. I asked that if it was so rarley needed why bother with it at all. He shut up and moved on to somebody else.

following on from that JM, far be it from me to suggest that the Authority has to raid tolls for an unrealistically large portion of it's over heads as conservation and recreation generate little or no revenue. Now that might be seen as a disadvantage by most boaters, but in reality is their trump card. A future vision of Broadland like that put forward by the RSPB, with much reduced boating activity and conservation projects on every muddy puddle that they can find would be financially unsustainable.

and so it begins. I knew this would happen, I warned you! Now look, Loddon Staithe will soon be the new Ranworth (but with decent pubs, oooher - a bit controversial there!). We'll all have to be moored up by two o'clock or mud weight in the basin! There'll be pirates galore, Idiots cruisng though Beccles flat out, Kiss Me Quick hat's for sale in every riverside shop and even dayboats with sixteen occupants playing dodgems on Oulton Broad. Time to arm the Brundall Navy me thinks, bring them to full readiness and place them on a war footing! two guns two guns

Was that the one that proposed turning the Yare valley into an an undredged natural river valley and limiting the number of fossil fuel powered boats to 50%, adoption of the Sandford Principle, prohibit arable farming in the river valleys, revert large areas of the upper thurne to salt marsh, amongst other things? The same one that gave showed no concern about the livlihood of the many farmers who would be affected, that gave no account of where the money for the many wonderful projects they suggested might come from? I received a copy once, all green and glossy from a suited wonder at an environmental conference a couple of years ago. I gave it back to him, and far be it for me to repeat what I told him to do with it on a forum such as this, enough to say he would have needed a colo-rectologist to recover it!

if you want an unlikely rocket ship, try a Rover 620ti, they were brutal. I swapped mine for a Mondeo ST220 which was limp by comparison. I too had a Xantia, briefly as a company car, not by choice, it was on loan from the pool fleet. Great to drive but it broke down three times in seven weeks. The pool fleet got it back promptly. Used to drive to Hinckley in the Rover with the excuse of going to KFC, but really jus for an escuse to drive it. There you go, back on food!

A good friend of mine decided to name his boat after the love of his life. Sadly, he was not as faithful to his lovers as he was to his boat.

Soundings, I think your argument falls apart when you consider that for boaters, or for anglers the conservation of the area is an important part of what makes it what it is, and what we enjoy, so you would have to go along way to find anyone from either camp who would not support appropriate conservation. For conservationists however, many see angling or boating as directly opposed to their ends and so many wish to exclude, or restrict those activities. The Broads Authority is charged with tending to the needs of conservation, navigation and access equally and in my opinion manages to do quite a good balancing act in a difficult position despite the attempts of empire building by it's Chief Executive and rampant pofligacy typical of such KWANGOs. But NEVER underestimate the power and influence of certain "conservation" organisations. I will put on record that I did not previously mention the RSPB, but taking it purely as an example it is one of the largest landowners in the UK, much of that land is not accessible to the public. It is automatically included in the planning process of any major development, road project etc and holds a virtual veto. Government and Industry frequently seek and nearly always accept it's counsel on matters relating to the countryside, land useage etc. It purports to protect our birdlife yet there are many small British bird species in serious declie which are receiveing little or no help or reognition from the RSPB, whilst large raptor breeds with numbers on the increase appear on virtually every leaflet, brochure or booklet. Why, because the RSPB knows what brings in the pennies, what stacks it's war chest. They are one of the most dangerous organisations in this country.

Feeling Nauti was always one of my favourites, or Cerrhosis of the River.

Of course nowadays Renault state they build all of their cars with the same care and attention they give to there Formula 1 programme. So lets see, that means every car goes through five engines a year and gearboxes only have to last three weekends. yep, that's about right. Sorry, Iain. Food? Oh yes, was looking at that Cassolet in Aldo this morning, nearly tempted.

There was a massive rumour in the 1970's that Land Rover were paid tens of millions of francs by the French government to make Range Rovers so unreliable, just so that Renault were not the most unreliable cars in the world.

the last great citroen was the CX, now that was a motor. Renault claim to have created the MPV with the Espace in 1984, the CX Familiale was a whole 7 years earlier. Sadly now they are cut down German clones, but, if you like tham and they serve you well then more power to 'em. It was a valid point made that cars and parts often bear little relation to their badges nowadays. I wonder how many Mercedes A and B class owners realise their engines were built by Renault.