Forum Behaviour

[Maxwellian]

1 hour ago, JohnK said:

 

I think it’s very sad that someone with a view that is different from the majority feels driven out.
Perhaps some people think that’s good as they won’t be challenged anymore.
BTW, it’s not just Bob who feels that way, it’s just that some of us aren’t brave enough to say it in the current climate here.
I think soon it’s likely that people with a minority opinion will leave here. I hope that’s what the majority want.

 

John

I also think it is sad, but for a different reason. All to often in discussions there are opposing views and this is very good for discussion and brings out some excellent points. The trouble starts when there appears to be a majority and therefore a minority in these discussions... is this bad....well it should not be but often the minority then cry foul stating bullying etc. Is this just away to try and undernine the views of the majority.

There is absolutely no,... NO reason why we cannot play nicely without Dummy Tossing. Opposing views are to be encouraged in discussions. It brings out some excellent points and educates all. It sometimes give us the evidence that allows us to change our position.

this post is not personal.. it is not bullying (IMHO) is is just my opinion. Feel free to disagree. Do so nicely please.

[grendel]

As requested on another thread, both by myself and others, here is a thread to discuss forum behaviour.

I myself try and remember to reread my posts before submitting them, submitting them to the same scrutiny I read all threads from a moderators perspective. many the time I have rewritten whole sections due to considering my post could be seen from a different perspective, and yes - even I will admit to not getting that right at times.

I also try and read others posts, then ask myself if a slur was intended or possibly an accidental wording that might have been misinterpreted.

I see that sometimes posts come across wrongly.

With this in mind I would like to see people giving other posters the benefit of the doubt. 

As moderators we will react to any posts that we see as a direct attack on another member, but only if it is seen that it cannot be a misinterpretation.

[JennyMorgan]

11 minutes ago, Maxwellian said:

John

I also think it is sad, but for a different reason. All to often in discussions there are opposing views and this is very good for discussion and brings out some excellent points. The trouble starts when there appears to be a majority and therefore a minority in these discussions... is this bad....well it should not be but often the minority then cry foul stating bullying etc. Is this just a way to try and undermine the views of the majority.

There is absolutely no,... NO reason why we cannot play nicely without Dummy Tossing. Opposing views are to be encouraged in discussions. It brings out some excellent points and educates all. It sometimes give us the evidence that allows us to change our position.

this post is not personal.. it is not bullying (IMHO) is is just my opinion. Feel free to disagree. Do so nicely please.

Wise and apt words, especially those that I have underlined.

[grendel]

Smellyloo said 

Quote

Sadly some of the posts that can be interpreted as bullying are posted by mods. I commented on one but I guess this was deemed to be incorrect.

as I have said above, if we read others posts and think they can be interpreted as bullying, that implies that the can also be interpreted as not bullying, if we give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that maybe they are just badly worded, then nobody needs to feel put down. 

not all of us have achieved good grades in English - I certainly didnt, and have since found that there is a possibility I have a degree of dyslexia - I used to do essays in English and hand them in, only to find that when I reread them, entire sentences and paragraphs I had thought were there were missing.

[grendel]

moved some of the posts here, they seem to have come in out of order so sorry for that

[batrabill]

I don’t think it’s bullying in the modern workplace sense of the word but there’s an awful lot of playground ganging up on the fat kid. 

Of course, those that do it won’t think they are. 

 

[dnks34]

12 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said:

Wise and apt words, especially those that I have underlined.

The underlined sentence is what I had in mind when I referred to the attempt at invalidating my opinion by saying its negative etc etc I didnt manage to put it so eloquently.

But I wouldnt say I saw it as bullying.

[Guest]

Can't a number of people have the same idea or share the same opinion?

[JohnK]

Can't a number of people have the same idea or share the same opinion?

Absolutely.
There’s nothing wrong with there being a majority opinion or being part of that majority.
The issue here is how the minority are treated.

[JohnK]

So to summarise ...
Nobody has posted anything wrong.
Those of us complaining are just doing it to undermine everyone else.

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

[grendel]

I dont see the minority being treated any different by the majority, than I do the majority being treated by the minority.

Edited March 31, 2018 by grendel
than - not that

[batrabill]

Is this what Smelly is referring to?

 

   On 29/03/2018 at 15:47,  grendelsaid: 

in all honesty I dont believe that they will be taken seriously after that, most of the people who dont seem to worry about everyone elses safety concerns appear to me to be arguing for the sake of it, and that is what leads to the disruption, strangely too, they are the ones that continue other threads to the point of disruption, I would suggest that we just ignore them.

I never thought I would read such a statement here on the nbn.

 

[JennyMorgan]

11 minutes ago, JohnK said:

 

Absolutely.
There’s nothing wrong with there being a majority opinion or being part of that majority.
The issue here is how the minority are treated.

 

Or even how the majority are treated. I don't want to appear blunt but that is also part of the issue.

[batrabill]

I do genuinely admire you Mr Waller, you are the Terminator - you never stop. 

[JennyMorgan]

Edited.

[JohnK]

John K, that is very much a two edged sword!!

Not me.

[JennyMorgan]

16 minutes ago, JohnK said:

So to summarise ...
Nobody has posted anything wrong.
Those of us complaining are just doing it to undermine everyone else.

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

John, that is very much a two edged sword!

[grendel]

2 minutes ago, batrabill said:

I do genuinely admire you Mr Waller, you are the Terminator - you never stop. 

To be fair Bill- Neither do you, the pair of you are very good at sticking to your guns (meant in a good way of course)

[batrabill]

Someone has to 

[grendel]

as a moderator there are times I want to get the pair of you together and beat your heads together. 

[batrabill]

I think you’re all over sensitive. So many in a huff all the time. JM on the other hand, is never ruffled. If you catch him out he switches the point of attack. Textbook. 

[grendel]

Just now, batrabill said:

I think you’re all over sensitive. So many in a huff all the time. 

I think that could be said of both sides a lot of the time.

[Guest]

28 minutes ago, batrabill said:

Is this what Smelly is referring to?

 

   On 29/03/2018 at 15:47,  grendelsaid: 

in all honesty I dont believe that they will be taken seriously after that, most of the people who dont seem to worry about everyone elses safety concerns appear to me to be arguing for the sake of it, and that is what leads to the disruption, strangely too, they are the ones that continue other threads to the point of disruption, I would suggest that we just ignore them.

I never thought I would read such a statement here on the nbn.

 

Actually it was me that made the comment grendel was referring to so technically I'm the one at fault ,  so hands up guilty   

[Polly]

Ok I hadn't seen this thread, but was thinking anyway about recent unpleasant posting exchanges and had thought about drawing on the research study I did on bullying some time ago. So here goes.

1 Bullying harms everyone, victims, bystanders, even the bullies.

2. Victims seldom if ever cry 'foul' themselves, they feel upset and ashamed of being bullied.

3. Interestingly bullies interviewed acknowledge that their bullying is 'a problem'

4. The bystanders have the power to stop the bullying, if they remain silent they suffer from guilt.

Do I think this is what is going on here? No, on the whole I don't.

There is another aspect that in my view just possibly has some relevance though, this is where things are said or done in a manner that the person knows is likely to set somebody off, and then they cry 'foul' when they get a reaction, and claim that they 'were only'  saying or doing something reasonable. Call it passive aggression if you like, but really it's all about tone rather than content. 

Again, do I think that bullying is going on? Well, in just one area, maybe; the mods are coming in for some very unfair stick when they try to tone down the tone, if you see what I mean. It's time to think again, whether what we post would be something we would want said to us face to face. No? Then edit the post before the mods have to, it's only fair.

[JennyMorgan]

37 minutes ago, batrabill said:

I think you’re all over sensitive. So many in a huff all the time. JM on the other hand, is never ruffled. If you catch him out he switches the point of attack. Textbook. 

Likewise.