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...get out of my living room Keira Knightly and put some clobber on before you catch your death! Now what? What's this rubbish? What's with the parade of incontinence pants while I'm trying to eat my tea? Who's this cretin? He's famous for...nothing? So, let me get this straight, they are on an island and then what? People watch this? 

After fifteen years of not watching television I allowed television back into the house. It was part of the new broadband package which was cheaper with television than broadband on its own. For the sake of saving a few quid I've undergone a brief televisual lobotomy. It appears nothing has changed much in the last fifteen years, other than an epidemic of incontinence and dross programming all of which seems to be based around public humiliation by cake or crap dancing. Five hundred channels and there's still nothing on!
"Try watching some of the history programmes!" said Ellie.
So we watched a history programme.
"Doesn't he look like your friend with the...I recognise her...didn't we see him last week in..."
If history is 'the Rhonde' then historians are boaters. We all get to know one another sooner or later. The television will be removed next week. Permanently.

Some of you will have met my granddaughter Gracie. You may not be as familiar with her brother Arlo. A shock of curly blonde hair, blue eyes and a wicked smile, he has ****** written through him like a stick of rock. More asterisks may follow. Arlo is just at the stage of learning to talk and is having some difficulty with my name. You see, we have a surplus of Granddads in our family, so I'm not a 'Granddad' I'm 'Timbo'. Up until a month ago Arlo's pronunciation of my name was very similar to the common name for the bird family Paridae. He'd point at me and say ***! Some may believe this an apt description. Arlo has now refined his pronunciation and as a consequence of his refusal to now call me anything else and the rest of the family mimicking Arlo my name has changed to 'Dimdom'. Still an apt description I think.

Talking of things 'bird' and 'history', I recently spent a night on RT moored at the Tea Gardens. An odd name the crew and I thought. Spotting an information board I sauntered over to take a look and satisfy my curiosity. Sadly it was yet another of those boards dedicated to nothing but the local spuggie population that allegedly haunt the location. No mention of the history of the landscape or its people and their history. Fortunately Google came to the rescue. As the wind blew and the rain rained...I could have done with a nice cup of tea and a brick built privy.

More things 'dickie flightle bird' related. I've often wondered what the plague of marsh harriers will eat when they've run out of prey? The answer is 'each other'. Spent an amusing early Sunday morning observing the result of over population as harriers competed over territory. On our journey the previous day from the Tea Gardens to Stalham the most frequent bird I spotted was the Marsh Harrier. There are more harriers than ducks. Judging by the grid refs that I noted, their territorial ranges are really squeezed together. 

Right, time to watch a bit of Can't Cook Dancing On Ice In A Jungle On a Desert Island On The Buses With The A Team On Patrol With A Celebrity And The Cops. Just as soon as I've put these incontinence pants on and filled out this Over Fifties Plan! Wibble.


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4 hours ago, grendel said:

at the moment too busy trying to find some 9ba threaded rod - or 9BA screws.

I think i`ve still got some 12 BA taps in an old tool box in the garage. We always used BA threads on navigational instruments, and i can well remember marking and spotting for drilling and tapping 12 BA threads in phosphur bronze frames on azimuth circles.  I used to do that by eye and without the need for glasses. Now i need glasses to read and most everything else.  

Come to think of it, where on earth would you get BA taps and dies these days?.

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Whitworths do a good range. Of course, being a coffee drinker it's demerara for me and that's no BS. Ellie tries her best to get me interested in old films. Rebecca was the last film she had me watch with her. Watching custard congeal would have been more entertaining. I never rated Larry Olivier as a film actor. My habit of speed reading books and digesting the information at a later date is useful on these occasions. Ellie's watching some long gone actor and I'm mentally rereading texts making sure I keep my eyes open and the snoring to a minimum.

This afternoon I rang up to cancel the television. At first they were quite shocked that someone would contemplate not watching it. Then they offered me the TV service for free, then they upgraded the TV service for free. I'll see if there's anything worth watching on the upgraded service, probably not, and then have the thing taken out after Christmas.

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