The Hump

[Wussername]

It has come to my attention that the Broads Authority and the Environmental Agency are currently investigating a phenomenon which exists on the River Bure.

This information has been passed to me somewhat surreptitiously from another source.

My lips are sealed for fear of being blackballed.

However it is well known amongst those who quant. For the uninitiated a practice involving a long pole which is thrust into the water by those of stout legs when the wind doesn’t blow and the boat doesn’t go, (where is Captain Carter?),  in order to propel the sailing craft towards its destination.  Sailing cruisers and wherries often avail themselves of this procedure.

As you approach Acle Bridge, going down stream towards the Stracy Arms some twenty or so meters, sixty feet in English, there is a hole. Just before the bridge. You will fail to touch the bottom. This hole is enormous.

It hides a secret. It is a lair. Known to few, feared by many.

The BA and the EA, bless. Are flummoxed.

On dark nights, wild nights when the wind is in the East, neither fit for man or beast, something stirs, an imperceptible movement. As it emerges from its den.

The Hump. The Bure Hump.

This amorphous mass clings to the rim of its den and then will coddiwomple towards Thurne Mouth.

Nobody has seen it. It is a known, known. And yet an unknown.

There exists in Broadland an inner sanctum frequented by the SOS. (Salty Old Seadogs). So all is not lost.

You may know who they are. These pillars of society with worn tanned faces, a canvas of a life spent bobbing about

They will guide us, as to that which needs to be done after due process and consultancy by a local quango.

Consideration may have to be given to those who wish to save the hump and in this respect they may wish to take advantage of local organisations such as Rent a Bat or Hire a Crested Newt which could well provide that final result.

Old Wussername

 

 

 

 

[BroadAmbition]

Brilliant 

Griff

[grendel]

I heard rumours that the BA would be dredging the bure this year- (please take note of the date)

[Graham47]

It a job to sort out the truth from April fools jokes today.

[marshman]

It has another den - or used to have!! At Thurne Mouth on the S side ( technically its the Bure I guess!) but several years ago you could not touch bottom with a wherry quant. Thats pretty deep then!!!

[gancanny]

20 minutes ago, marshman said:

It has another den - or used to have!! At Thurne Mouth on the S side ( technically its the Bure I guess!) but several years ago you could not touch bottom with a wherry quant. Thats pretty deep then!!!

chatting to a local eel catcher a few years back, he told me it was one of the deepest spots on the northern rivers