Jump to content

The Hump


Recommended Posts

It has come to my attention that the Broads Authority and the Environmental Agency are currently investigating a phenomenon which exists on the River Bure.

This information has been passed to me somewhat surreptitiously from another source.

My lips are sealed for fear of being blackballed.

However it is well known amongst those who quant. For the uninitiated a practice involving a long pole which is thrust into the water by those of stout legs when the wind doesn’t blow and the boat doesn’t go, (where is Captain Carter?),  in order to propel the sailing craft towards its destination.  Sailing cruisers and wherries often avail themselves of this procedure.

As you approach Acle Bridge, going down stream towards the Stracy Arms some twenty or so meters, sixty feet in English, there is a hole. Just before the bridge. You will fail to touch the bottom. This hole is enormous.

It hides a secret. It is a lair. Known to few, feared by many.

The BA and the EA, bless. Are flummoxed.

On dark nights, wild nights when the wind is in the East, neither fit for man or beast, something stirs, an imperceptible movement. As it emerges from its den.

The Hump. The Bure Hump.

This amorphous mass clings to the rim of its den and then will coddiwomple towards Thurne Mouth.

Nobody has seen it. It is a known, known. And yet an unknown.

There exists in Broadland an inner sanctum frequented by the SOS. (Salty Old Seadogs). So all is not lost.

You may know who they are. These pillars of society with worn tanned faces, a canvas of a life spent bobbing about

They will guide us, as to that which needs to be done after due process and consultancy by a local quango.

Consideration may have to be given to those who wish to save the hump and in this respect they may wish to take advantage of local organisations such as Rent a Bat or Hire a Crested Newt which could well provide that final result.

Old Wussername

 

 

 

 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 12
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It has another den - or used to have!! At Thurne Mouth on the S side ( technically its the Bure I guess!) but several years ago you could not touch bottom with a wherry quant. Thats pretty deep then!!!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 minutes ago, marshman said:

It has another den - or used to have!! At Thurne Mouth on the S side ( technically its the Bure I guess!) but several years ago you could not touch bottom with a wherry quant. Thats pretty deep then!!!

chatting to a local eel catcher a few years back, he told me it was one of the deepest spots on the northern rivers

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Sponsors

    Norfolk Broads Network is run by volunteers - You can help us run it by making a donation

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

For details of our Guidelines, please take a look at the Terms of Use here.