Beware it's the Regatta season again.

[Wussername]

I am very wary of regattas, but I like people who sail. They embrace all that is good. Disciplined folk, kind and considerate, at one with nature, their boat, the wind.

Until the five minute gun.

And then their demeanour changes. As they jostle at the start line they shout at other sailing boats, shout at their crew and everyone come to that, STARBOARD! WATER!! WATER!!

They also spend a lot of time trying to attract the attention of a bloke called Lee. As in Lee Ho!

 

What's all that about?

 

Don't go near them, they are possessed. Especially those with that wooden lance sticking out at the front like a great wooden proboscis ready to impale the unwary. Which could be you!

What would it be like if we all had one of those on our motor cruisers eh?
That would show them. None of this WATER business, give way malarkey.

 

 Can't they do it at night when we are all moored up?

 

Remember the six stages of racing in a regatta. It will hold you in good stead:

 

Wild enthusiasm

Total confusion

Utter despair

Identify the guilty

Persecution of the innocent

Homage, respect, to the helm. Who is always right.

 

When you approach that white knuckle ride towards a chaos of masts, mainsails, jibs and topsails, the crashing and banging of you can’t think what, remember do not panic. Do not listen to your crew. Whatever happens do not touch the bow thrusters, they will confuse you all the more. Just concentrate on what you are doing.

 

And finally dear holiday maker, do remember that they are more frightened of you than you are of them.

 

Old Wussername

 

[Rincewind]

I always remember the very wise words of Rod (FlyingFortress) given to me a few years ago...

 

"Might is right!"

 

[Gracie]

I've come over faint just reading your post Wusser 

 

Grace

[ranworthbreeze]

Hi Grace,

 

I am surprised that you read the full post with your hiding in the cabin at the first mention of Yachts.

 

Regards

Alan

[alexandlorna]

Had A foretaste last weekend at Horning , a guy in a big hire boat broke up the cofusion of rags and sticks nicely (very correctly as he gave way when required )

Just as we thought calm had returned he turned towards the quay at the Island , made as if to moor , then 180 turn to almost ram us bow to bow!

Much reversing , thrusting from both ends ! and some of my vilest bad language (one field I am an acknowledged expert in)averted disaster

Obviously the poor guys wits had been fried by the sailie onslaught lol

[Gracie]

Oh Alex, How could you, that poor man was probably having a nervous breakdown trying to navigate through the sailie thingies and then you come along on a Boat named Braveheart, cursing and thrusting  Why on earth they don't take a leaf out of my book and hide in the cabin is beyond me, it really is 

 

Grace 

[Chelsea14Ian]

Whats is fun is sometime they whack one another.A few years back we were going to Potter,two sail boats were in front of us.All of a sudden a Hunters sail boat turned sharply to the right whacking the other sail boat.i felt sorry for the poor old Hunters boat.

 

We all have to and keep learning,but I remember following a hire boat and a sailing boat heading to Ranworth.The skipper of the sailing boat wrongly told the hire boat to undertake him,when the wind was moving him into the hire boat.when I overtook him I told him in my best French about his advice.

 

 

Ian  

[alexandlorna]

I am truly contrite Gracie , but my foul outburst was tempered by a wave after disaster was averted

Perhaps you could do some flyers with such emergency routines as you find work for you and ask Clive to hand them out at boat handovers

Seriously though the fact the guy acknowledged his error made all the difference and made it something to laugh about later rather than something to send me ballistic☺

[BroadScot]

A bloke frae Lanarkshire goin bally what ever next!  

 

 

Iain

[Polly]

Sailing apart, what puzzles me is how come novice hirers aren't shown how to prepare warps for mooring. Having hold of both bow and stern lines when stepping off the side is so much easier and safer, and it's not obvious until someone shows you how.