Timbo

It it just me wondering why out of £190,000 in parking fees and fines nobody considered buying a 3'x4' shed and employing a carpark warden, to carry out a less draconian system, and bring in more visitors and therefore more money to the park? Just think of all the fun the Broads Authority could have rebranding the shed... The WHO or Whittlingham Holistic Operation, how about the CPO or Car Park Operations. GCHQ Good Carparking Head Quarters?

Depends how fast you are going? I get the feeling that most modern vehicles are designed so that they are easily transferable into Pixar characters. Add a couple of eyes on the bow cabin and we have Brit the Liner in Pixar's Boats...at a cinema near you soon. I have visions of Britannia off the coast of Yarmouth and hundreds of locals in Broads Cruisers trying to sell the 'explorers' exotic local delicacies like tripe and onions, fish n chips and Magnum ice creams in a scene reminiscent of james Cook in the South Seas.

Another Britannia, sadly I think she might not fit under Potter Bridge! I'm not sure about the design, certainly not as sleek as the original. I like the paintjob on the hull...but there's an air of 'inner city' or is it 'prison hulk' about her?

Strangely enough its Uncle Albert and I that have headaches!

As 'National Power of Attorney Day' was only the other month...and...let's face it folks, as Broads Boaters & Enthusiasts we are an aging population and as such heading down a path strewn with buckets we may inadvertently kick... I thought I would share some of 'avoidable' calamities that face us all! Power of Attorney Should your faculties deteriorate a power of attorney will allow you to appoint someone to carry out your wishes in your financial and care matters. All well and good, and something that is essential to have in place. However please think of the following... Don't pressure someone into becoming your attorney. If someone objects to your decision, listen to them. Think your choice of attorney through. Try to consider all possibilities. Remember once registered a power of attorney can take months and thousands of pounds to 'undo'. Even if you have made a lasting power, voice your opinion, don't agree because your attorney says you have to. Make sensible choices in your choice of attorney. Remember you are handing over control of all of your assets, money, house as well as control of your daily care not to mention turning off your life support! Solicitor Find a good solicitor. One that specialises in problems faced by the elderly. Wills, probate as well as matters concerning your care,welfare & matrimonial matters. Banking This is a difficult one and depends very much on the state of your marriage. If your marriage is working then keep money in joint accounts that you and your partner can access should something happen to one of you. The only exception to this is if you have a care budget...keep this in your own name! If you are having problems then keep a joint account for daily expenses. Personal money keep in a bank account in your own name. The same goes for your care budget account as mentioned above. Social Aspects Develop a relationship with your network of friends and carers independently. Remember your social worker and carers work for YOU! Voice your opinions. Your care package should be designed for your benefit...not those of your spouse or carers! Include your solicitor in any care reviews or 'meetings'. They also work for you and are aware of many pitfalls! Money Money from your care package is to be spent on nothing but your care & on the care you want and you require. The rest of your money is to be spent or saved on what you want or how you want! It is there to make your life easier, not that of your carer or anyone else! Be wary of any major financial transactions, including ISA's, share portfolios or sale of your house! Will Make sure that your will is in order and implements your wishes. Your Attorney Be wise in your choice of attorneys. Make sure your choice is balanced and that they understand they are to carry out your wishes not work for their own benefit or someone elses. Talk to your attorneys and make sure they understand exactly what you want to happen in both your financial matters, your care concerns and what you want to occur when the inevitable does happen. Most importantly of all, explain in detail to them your hopes and wishes for the future. Just because you are making provision for the end of life...you aint dead yet! In conclusion Make your decisions wisely with advice from your solicitor and family. Do your best to get it right. get it wrong and one day you will come to your senses stuffed in an old folks home, unable to access your money, having hot tea thrown at you by a delusional resident sat at the side of you and your carers more concerned with the wishes of someone else. A morbid subject I know, but something we are all going to face at some time or other. And finally... You thought I could get through a whole post being serious? Be aware that should you find yourself stuffed in that old folks home, and months of heartache and work and thousands of pounds have gone into extricating you from it, and should you ever again utter the phrase 'I've met this woman' to your son, a sudden impact will occur in your nether regions and your eyeballs will pop out of your ears. To coin a phrase from the late Leonard Nimoy 'Live long and prosper'!

I noticed the other day just how many boatyards used to be on the Southern Broads. I started putting in little burgees on the map for each boat yard...Oulton Broad and Brundall started to look like the site of Custer's Last Stand with all the little lances!

Fortunately with beagles there's no such thing as finicky. Dylan will eat anything put in front of him. When Toby, Dylan's littermate, first came to stay with us he proved to be a little wary of his new diet. I did find a trick though...Tesco own brand instant gravy. Its the canine equivalent of catnip! Make up a batch, let it go cold & set and then stir the dog food into it! As the runt of the litter, poor old Toby has problems with an over large tongue so eats better with moist food. To be honest he is like a big kid with tomato sauce round his face, in that he always has food around his mouth and the edges of his ears. I can recommend the pet shop in Stalham, very knowledgeable, even down to a very effective preventative for travel sickness in both of the beagles. I'm very very wary of specialist canine diets after running foul of a scam at a vets of all places. My previous dog Sam, Lakeland Border cross that looked like Spit The Dog, was placed on a specialist diet by the vet after a bowel operation. At £8 for four tins of food it was a dear do! That was until one of the tins started to loose its label to reveal a 'Chappie' label underneath it. The vet discovered there is some truth to those signs that read 'Sod the dog, Beware of the owner!' and Sam went back onto a diet of canned food and biscuits, with no lasting effects...he was 24 when he passed away.

I have to admit I do buy bottled water, however this is at home...the water around Gainsborough is a bit like mainland Europe in that it contains 'many foreign bodies'. Twice weekly the water from the tap at home has a distinct flavour of chemicals, and I swear it has an aging effect on me. Ten years ago I was only 39 but I kid you not I currently look and feel 49 although some would say I look 69! I do buy bottled water on the boat...but only at the moment until I'm in a position to fill the water tanks again.

"Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country; the Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; the Financial Times is read by people who own the country; the Morning Staris read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country, and the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is. Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun? Bernard: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big t...!!

I will be down sooner than Dad MM. I have to get on with that work if we are going to make the Spring Meet. Just waiting for the OK from my docs to 'rough it' for a couple of weeks. I will let you know when I have a fixed date! It's not so much Robo-cop or the six million dollar man Dan...more like Frankenstein's monster meets Albert Steptoe, just replace the crackle of electricity with the gentle rustle of decomposing senior citizen!

Err Jon? I reckon you've got a time machine stuffed in the yard somewhere...either that or you have invented the 27 hour day! But not to worry...you will soon have a new and improved Uncle Albert heading your way.

This on the BBC, some interesting photographs, some in colour, of the American WW2 Air Bases in East Anglia.

Once upon a time, and this is where the story begins, I did my own cooking. Then my other half took over the cooking, and this is where the story really begins, and she used a pressure cooker for the veggies. So much under pressure were these veggies under that they not only broke down...but turned to mush. Oi mush! Now when tea was ready she would yodel from her porch...'Yodel ay hee hoo!' and 'Oi, yer dinner's ready' and I would frolic down the path of the secure unit where I live to retrieve my repast. Now this is where the story begins although slightly in the future from my repast. I was busily writing my memoirs... FX: typewriter ...'Margaret Thatcher my part in her downfall...chapter The First. So I turned to Ted Heath and said "You're a cloud on my Morning you grinning idiot!"' ...when my other half arrived in a state of distress, having lost the valve to her pressure cooker. Bless her! We've had no vegetables driven to the state of collapse ever since and I think I owe Jon at Wayford a pint for disposing of the evidence of my crimes in the skip! Now this is where the story really begins!

I can add one more item to the security measures. After being burgled once, I employed this measure afterwards and it helped catch the toerags when they came back for a second try. Good old axle grease applied to the tops of my walls and gates! There were more prints, smears and foot prints after they had scaled the wall than if they'd been dipped in treacle. When I rang the police I told them to be on the look out for gimps smeared in grease...and within an hour they had picked up the culprits...who had also left a handy trail of grease at the other sites and shops they had visited. Word soon got around about the surprise waiting on the tops of walls, and although neighbours have had problems, my house is always left alone. Although it can be upsetting having folks in your house...I still raise a smile when I think of the idiots I tarred...just wish I'd added some feathers!

A heated swimming pool towed behind your Broads Boat? Available for hire on the European Canals

I find the 1946 photo survey fascinating...the difference in water level and the navigable areas! Came across another map this time the 1840 Tithe Maps. I love Tithe Maps as they hold quite a considerable amount of information such as land ownership and use. This is the top end of Barton Broad.

Here's some mapping information on Barton Broad & The Heater. First of all here's the modern OS map. Next the 1988 aerial survey Slipping back in time to the 1946 aerial survey Back still further to the 1827 Bryant County map And then back again to the 1797 Faden Map. From the maps I think the Heater was formed post 1827. The Boundary along the eastern edge of Barton Broad shows the original path of the river...which gets interesting further downstream.

Aha! I have corrected this problem by using cling film masticked to the screen to prevent water seepage!

I put it all down to Ptolemy who around the 2nd century AD put together a system of longitude and latitude taking into account the curvature of the earth. On all Ptolemy's maps North is at the top of the map. Politics and culture, as you rightly say, play a big part in the orientation of the map. The Chinese and Arabs all had South at the top of the map. The Europeans put East at the top of the map as this was the location of Jerusalem. The north south orientation, as much as the South North, was a result of the use of the compass and the adoption of Ptolemy's maps. Mermaids Grendel? Mermaids? Next you will be telling me some berk at Yare House has decided to call the Broads a National Park! Now Grendel did supply me with some blank maps that I have lost trace of on my hard drive..but once I get RT back on the move my intention is start mapping for myself the banks etc as we float by. MM my dear Sir...as I have now twisted the map to a more pleasing orientation I will be needing your help in verifying a few facts. By aligning the map with East at the top of the map this will mean that Potter Heigham will now be at the top of the map. Thus water will drain away from the top of the map allowing better access through that damned bridge! Of course this will also mean that the bridges at Yarmouth will also have more clearance, although Wroxham bridge will still require a pilot. I envisage travel times between Thurne Mouth and Wroxham will shorten due to the increased flow of water from the sea into the Broads system. To avoid any issues with flooding I have decided to tilt my map ever so slightly so that the Thames area is slightly lower than the rest of the map...the area around Westminster can be used for catching drips. On the Fladen Map Strowager there is the kind of outline of the Heater, however it shows it to the North East adjoining the very mouth of the Ant (or the River Smale as it was in those days) where it empties into Barton Broad.

Some will know I have a fascination for cartography. Mapping played a huge part in my professional life as an archaeologist. Yet maps of the Broads have always been both a fascination and conundrum. The Broads were such an influence on my formative years, life afloat and Dad (Uncle Albert) & my Mum pouring over a map of the Broads...family 'discussions' over where we should voyage to went something like this. "Gordon, we need to find a shop today!" "Well the time & tide..." "We need a shop Gordon!" "Well if we catch the tide at..." "Look Gordon we need a sodding shop!" "Well you plan the route if you think you are so clever woman!" "Allright I will! So if we are here, lets' go up this blue line, then down the yellow one, and if we join the green one here...there's bound to be some shops!" Dad slams down his tea mug and starts to leave the saloon of Captain XII "Gordon? Where are you going?" "To put the wheels on the boat!" "What wheels?" "The wheels we are going to need to go up those roads you plan on taking the boat up!" I say maps of the Broads provide me with a conundrum, because although I love the shape of the mapped features, they just don't sit right in my mind. I blame Strowager of course for setting me my current puzzle. He made a set of maps of the Broads that combined the OS information with the depth soundings of the rivers and Broads.These made me look again at mapping Broadland. They were fantastic maps BTW Strowager! My current puzzle is the origin of the island called the Heater at Barton Turf, the historical maps & modern maps give very little evidence to its origin! I started work the other day on making a new title animation which featured a map of The Broads. Working to the confines of 1920 x 1080 screen space I was having difficulty fitting the map of The Broads onto the screen..that was until I turned the map around so that it was represented on the page as facing East to West, in the same manner as medieval maps, instead of the modern North to South orientation. Once I had done this then I felt very comfortable with the results. The map matched my internal navigation system. In other words the map now matched how I picture Broadland in my head. Here's where I'm up to so far. Not in any way accurate & contains only information I find of interest, with much space left over for little bits of animation...but I'm enjoying making this. If anyone has any historical data on the 'Heater' I would be very interested.

I misread the first post and have consequently spent several hours thinking how useful such a device would be & wondering where I could get one? Now I have realised my mistake...but I still think a device for changing your seasocks whilst afloat would be a great aid to Uncle Albert and would save my nose!

I thought all MP's were redundant? But I am looking forward to attending some of these events this year!

Walking the beagles this evening I noticed a very bright star in the sky with a smaller that seemed to be 'further' behind it. Now most of the time there is no perception of depth when you look at stars with the naked eye...but tonight there is with these two stars...well planets really as it is Venus and Mars in conjunction. Quite an odd phenomenon! Duff picture I know but only had the phone in my pocket...can't even see Mars in the photo!

Looking at the Dash Cam footage Sprite...most of those seemed to have excessive speed and driver inattention as a contributing factor. I was amazed at the speed they were travelling at in urban areas.

Now what would saturday morning be without a good conspiracy theory... As headlines of journalists leaving the Torygraph over the hushing of news stories affecting advertising clients, particularly certain banks that the owner owes millions to and removed their advertising account after an investigation into tax avoidance, hit the airwaves this thread was jangling at the back of my mind for a few days. Sadly Kfurbank, I don't think any protest would have graced the pages of the Telegraph...well not unless they owed the protesters money...or we took out some serious advertising in the Torygraph.