Timbo

I shall be at Carlton Towers this year...as the brother in law lives in Carlton...opportunity for a knees up!

I'm still not dead! Neither is Uncle Albert. Been a bit quiet and intermittent of late due to having my 'nurdles scrunned', as Maurice Mynah would have it, or due to a Pontine Infarct as the mountebank puts it. To be honest Pontine Infarct sounds more like a bloody wizard than a diagnosis. For those still scratching their heads at all my burbling...and I'm looking over the top of my glasses at you Gracie... I had a bit of a stroke in the brain stem. Nothing to worry about, a minor blip, although it has caused me to ponder the nature of mental capacity. You see while all this has been going on with me, Uncle Albert's solicitor has had the old boy's noodle noggin functions assessed so we can put him back in control of his own assets at last. Apparently Uncle Albert is in full possession of his faculties, while they are not sure about me? The prospect of impending divorce has had a remarkable effect on Uncle Albert...increased mobility, looking after his own needs and desperate to be back afloat this year. As for me? Well I'm getting better daily, back to walking the beagles and waiting to be given the OK to drive so I can get back down to the boat. Thanks to Doug and Jon and everyone at Wayford for keeping both RT afloat and my backside out of the water!

A colleague of mine once became so incensed with a grammatical error he had found in a student paper we were to assess, that he wrote a four page diatribe denouncing the writing abilities of the student. As the paper was passed around the faculty everyone had started to mark the colleagues rant instead of the student's work. By the time the document arrived with me the initial five page essay was nearing a hundred pages of comment. Turning to the work of the student I noticed that the student's essay was a comment on a grammatical error he had discovered in the initial question and which altered the context of the question and any answer he was to give, so he had detailed the error first and then wrote answers to both possible contexts. The student went on to be offered a full scholarship, my colleagues given directions on how to extract their heads from their backsides.

Having retrieved the lad through the transom doors the other year after he fell off the boat whilst we were under way, leaving Ranworth & just about to join the main river, and as we already have them...I'm all for them! After dealing with the lad...delivering the verbal 'thick ear' I got to pondering means of retrieving Uncle Albert should he ever fall in. Turning onto the main river I was confronted by a hire craft with a bloke & a woman walking either side of the deck to the bow. No life jackets, no hands on grab rails, both waving their arms frantically for balance and both of them staggeringly over weight. My recently chastised and now avid life jacket wearing crew member voiced my thoughts asking 'how would you retrieve them back onto the boat should they fall?'. Just like Uncle Albert, I would tow them to the nearest boatyard with a crane or at least a slipway. I came across this on twitter a few minutes ago...any fans of the' tweed' life jacket? Apparently this company www.seasafe.co.uk/ can make jackets from material you provide.

Crotch straps are essential I would say from experience of fishing Uncle Albert out over the years. Please note the old boy has had a habit of falling into whatever water is handy ever since he left the navy. The older/heavier he got the more anchor points are required to fish him out and to keep him buoyant. I have to admit that on my life jacket I don't fasten the crotch strap in position, but after seeing the pollava my daughter created trying to haul herself out of the water the other year I do insist that all crew fasten theirs and will be doing so myself in future. We bought a matching set of life jackets for all crew including the dogs. With the dogs jackets came additional d-links and Karabina with tether straps. Returning to the boat from a trip to Lathems I spotted my daughter had used the extras straps and links to tether Uncle Albert inside the cockpit 'What's occurring?' I asked. "I needed the loo & I didn't want him wandering off!" the reply. Top marks for initiative that girl!

Gracie....everything gets battered in Scotland...Mars Bars, cake, burgers. Iain ....Gracie went from storms to chip shops all in one post! Peter...At school I had a girlfriend that worked in a chip shop...always made me feel hungry & you should have seen the musculature on her right arm from operating the chipping machine! MM....Sports & Social Club charges 25p a litre... ah the 1970's ! Double Diamond!

I think this will be a great publication. please sell to the public Clive as I can see these becoming collectable!

The eye is well on the mend, although the other half's Dad, aka Ben Gunn, did threaten to get me an eye patch today. I'm all ready for instruction Doug. I was bought some wet and dry paper, some clamps and a Swiss Army knife with a special tool for extracting Herbert Woods Tupperware out of Proper Wooden Boats for Christmas. Just waiting to acquire that additional cover for the bow a sheet each of 15mm & 5mm ply, a softwood beam for the cockpit floor and some suitable timber to rebuild the dinette seat...then its all systems go!

Major changes over the last few months have meant I'm under a deal of pressure. Please try to contain yourselves ladies, but Uncle Albert is being divorced.Fortunately, by means of the 'Old Boy Network, I found him a damned good solicitor who specialises in care of the elderly. When I say 'damned good' I mean 'damned good'. When a problem arose two days before Christmas at nine o'clock at night I emailed the solicitor and was surprised to receive an answer by one thirty in the morning-problem sorted. Uncle Albert, more Steptoe than Finny, is taking it all in his stride, thinking it a prime opportunity to transfer money to any available publican. I have managed to stop his gallop though. With the aid of my other half and my daughter a line has been drawn which Uncle Albert may not cross to protect my health. The old boy is having a spot of bother understanding that the days of being waited on hand and foot are over. "Tea! I want a cup of tea!" demands Albert. "Kitchen is through there!" my reply. "I'll do without!" Albert's reply. "Suit yourself" An hour will pass. "Any chance of a cup of tea?" asks Uncle Albert. "Yeah, kettles in the kitchen. Everything is laid out next to it so you can find it." the reply. Uncle Albert pulls a face and goes back to tormenting the dog. Another hour passes. "Tea! I want a cup of tea!" demands Uncle Albert. "Do you?" I ask surprised. Finally Uncle Albert drags himself out of the chair & heads to the living room door. "While you are up, go to the loo, get changed & wash your hands!" I tell him as I walk behind him. When I've helped him change, he heads back to the living room. "I thought you wanted a cup of tea?" I ask as he passes the kitchen. "I do!" says Uncle Albert. "Good. Kitchen's here, make me one while you are at it!" I say as I stand behind him to fill his specially adapted kettle. The old bugger does not want to go into a home, so I'm afraid he's going to have to get up off his backside & do something himself to make sure he doesn't. Over Christmas a haemorrhage in my right eye has given me the appearance of a 'B' Movie zombie. However my birthday on New Year's Day brings me a present from my daughter which is a thing of wonder. A fantastic aid to relaxation first thing in a morning. A moka pot! Carefully measuring out the coffee beans and blending them to my liking (Sumatra and Kenyan Pea-berry this morning), like some Middle Ages Alchemist I grind them and add them to my shiny device after the freshly drawn water. Placed on the stove I wait for pressure to build before reducing heat just as the delicious hot coffee magically appears in the top chamber. This little ritual helps me focus first thing in a morning and make sure I take my own cocktail of pills and potions. The fridge door opening is the signal for Dylly & Toby the beagles to sit by their bowls waiting for their breakfast of milk. Royal Tudor is not far from my thoughts. Uncle Albert is determined he will be boating again this year...even telling me he is going to buy a tent so he can sit & watch me work on the boat. Unfortunately until the major reconstruction work is finished I won't have the time, space or the ability to look after Uncle Albert & work on the boat. When the weather is warmer & its time to do the finishing & varnishing then I'll bring the old sea-dog down to inspect the work and spend some time annoying everyone else afloat! Right time to walk those dogs! Wishing everyone a happy and prosperous New Year!

OK I have to stop all the Bah Humbug as three special princesses stopped by to make Christmas just that little bit extra special for my 'Frozen' mad granddaughter Grace (2). Instead of carols we were treated to a selection of songs from the film. Of course my Camera packed in after the first...hopefully Santa will bring me a new one? http://youtu.be/pR9vmieTZFE

My favourite method of cooking sprouts is a quick blanche, little bit of bicarb added to the water, at the same time I have another pan of water and bicarb boiling some chestnuts. Once cooked peel the chestnuts and add them to a frying pan with the sprouts and quite a bit of butter, ground sea salt and black pepper (I sometimes add a few ground chilli flakes for some kick). A quick flash fry so that the sprouts are tender but not soggy, then into the serving dish with the butter residue poured over the top and a few drops of white wine vinegar.

One of my other half's young work colleagues, from a wealthy family & lives out in the sticks, was curious as to why we didn't have carol singers in Gainsborough. "We don't answer the door when someone knocks." my other half replied. "Why ever not?" asked the well to do young lady. "Well in Gainsborough if someone knocks on your door its either the bailiffs or a distraction while druggies rob the contents of your shed!" the reply Its difficult to tell, due to close association with each other over time, who's picked up whose cynicism.

We were members of the WBA Barry, well we paid our money but heard nothing else from them. I was thinking of a register for all historic boats though. Some of the fibreglass & concrete vessels will be the same age as RT if not older & therefore should be considered to be classic boats too.

An impulse buy...Some eight years ago my best pal of twenty four years, Sam, kicked the bucket. Sam was the very best of friends. A scruffy Border Lakeland Terrier cross, reminiscent in looks to Spit the Dog. He'd seen me through two marriages, had let my daughter dress him up and put him in her pram to be wheeled around the garden, more importantly he had been my anchor to sanity after my stroke. I might forget where I was, who I was or what i was supposed to be doing but Sam would bring order to my life. I knew who he was & he would bring structure to my day, telling me when it was time to feed him or walk him, or when it was time for my tablets.When he'd gone I didn't want another dog. I continued to walk the other half's lab and collie, but I didn't want another dog. Two years later and the eldest lad decided he was going to buy a beagle. My other half went with him to look at a litter. Now call me a mind reader but I just knew someone would come back having put a deposit on a dog. I still didn't want another dog but just as I was sure the other half would buy a puppy, I knew I would end up walking it. What's more I knew it would not be trained properly and given a stupid name (The last dog the other half bought is called Spot...and believe me you feel an idiot shouting for Spot walking in the woods). So even though I didn't want a dog on impulse I said yes you can buy one but it lives with me...I pick his name and he will be trained. Best impulse I've had in a long while! Of course as things turn out I not only ended up with Dylan... But his litter mate Toby too! Double Trouble!

I see what you mean messieurs's , we have day glow yellows, red, oranges not to mention blues...RT is cream & green and when I get her finished yellow coaching stripes around the windows...purple would fit right in amongst the river side vegetation! I should point out that I had all hell on stopping Uncle Albert from having RT's hull painted Royal Blue...Fortunately Jon pushed him in the right direction or her original colours.

Oh I don't mind what colour they are painted, sky blue pink with yellow dots MM, or whether they are 'listed' as in the sense of a building.I suppose I was quite rare as an archaeologist in that appreciated that the house or boat even, is someone's property and the vagaries of taste and use are just part of the ongoing history. What was going through my mind was more a register as to what is there...out and about, but a more detailed historical record than what we have available now. As Peter says the Broads is quite a hotbed for historic boats, not just the woodies but concrete, fibreglass etc. But I'd hate to be in a situation where twenty plus years on we take a look and there are hardly any of the old boats there any more and no documentation of them. Whilst working in Greece I noticed the area had quite a few wooden stelae. Last time I visited the area most of them had vanished and their loss was being lamented. I'm not talking about regulation here, just making a record but something that everyone who is interested in boats can join in

A post by Marshman on another thread mentioned it being a shame that 'boats' weren't listed. I totally agree with him about listing boats but it would be a difficult thing to set up. Since buying a boat of our own I've taken more than a passing interest in both the history of some of the boats I see up and down the Broads as well as some of the 'bodge jobs' that can happen when it comes to restoration. Being a total novice myself I can appreciate the daunting prospect of starting a restoration, particularly when you are on a tight budget. Whilst being a novice at boat restoration, as an archaeologist and historian There are currently two national registers of historic vessels. There are a couple of differences between the registers. The first is the National Register of Historic Vessels (NHVR) this is a register of vessels over 50 years old and over 33 feet in length. The register is divided into two parts with significant vessels registered as part of the National Fleet (several Broads boats are on this list). Boats on the NHVR fly a special ensign to signify their inclusion on the register or part of the historic fleet, have access to an on-line community dedicated to the preservation of the vessels and can be eligible for small grants to help with restoration. Boats like Royal Tudor that are over 50 years old but only 31ft 10in in length do not qualify for the NHRV. Instead they are registered on the National Small Boat Register (NSBR) hosted by the National Maritime Museum in Cornwall, Royal Tudor's registration number is 2372. The NSBR like the NHRV is a register of boats deemed to be of national historic importance worthy of preservation, without the access to the on-line community,grants and recognition, but also will accept boats younger than 50 years. Both registers work very closely together, and registration is a voluntary process. However anyone can nominate a vessel for inclusion on either register. I noticed that many Broads vessels were falling through the cracks of the registers, due to their size and design or construction materials and I wondered if anyone would be interested in creating a register of Broads Vessels, perhaps under the auspices of The Museum of the Broads to record vessels, both internally and externally, as well as other important documents or photographs related to each craft on the register. Then filter this information back through to the NHRV and NSBR. To then have a broads based database to collate the information as well as a repository of help and advice on restoration etc. Broads boats have a special place in the hearts of many people in the UK...like many others I feel I own a little bit of the boats I've hired in the past. Perhaps a community or support group to help feed information...funds even... into the register and into the Museum of the Broads. I imagine it would create a fine fleet of registered vessels to help support the work of the Museum.. I am aware of the fantastic work done by Boats of the Norfolk Broads and Broadland Memories I hasten to add! I just wondered what others felt about the idea as I'm having a spot of bother getting my head around the correct wording?

Credit Card details & delivery address of course MM!

Advertising is part of what a good periodical should be...relevant and not intrusive advertising that is.As far as price for a good periodical I currently pay between £4.99 and £7.99 for my 'trade' periodicals...Animation and CGI magazines and would be prepared to pay similar for a good boating magazine depending upon the content, in depth articles etc.

Uncle Albert and I have one thing in common. When we get interested in a pastime or hobby first we buy a book and then we subscribe to the relevant periodicals. Over the years I've been a subscriber to periodicals ranging from History Today, to Poultry World, Imagine FX to The History of Ships. No matter the subject, the periodical had to walk a very hard line to keep the content fresh and interesting. Having worked in 'niche' publishing for some time I can appreciate how difficult it is to get the 'right' content. After all, everyone's taste and means are different and good content is expensive to produce. Having a draft publication sat ready to go on my desk I used to dread the meeting with the finance department which would totally alter the proposed content of the finished publication. Having said all that he current boating magazine subscriptions we have at the minute will shortly be cancelled as none of them have content in which I am remotely interested. Here's the content of a publication I would love to see, preferably in print otherwise a digital publication. Ongoing Article:A History of Broadland Boatyards/boat designs. This issue Brooms of Brundall (for example). Ongoing Article:Restoring a Woodie: Ongoing series covering the restoration of a wooden Broads Cruiser, covering the how's, the why's, the materials and tools and where to get them from, joints, techniques etc. Ongoing Article restoring a fibreglass cruiser... Ongoing Article...Boat Handling/Tips for the beginner Ongoing Article...learn to Sail Column by a Broads Ranger Column from the Broads Museum Column From Broadland Memories Article: The Broads Authority explain in detail their reasons for wanting to become a National Park. Column Broadland Wildlife Section: News from the hire craft...special offers, new craft Column: Fishing the Broads, locations, techniques and tackle Section: Sailing News Section:Coastal Boating Section Broads Authority News Section: Food Section:Events & general news Column: Boating Tales...someone like Paul Sheard Rustic) fascinating writing. Index of boating suppliers Advertising: Boats for sale, tools, materials, clothing I know not everyone's cup of tea...but something I would like to read regularly.

Now that is a work of beauty Doug! Wish I had just a fraction of your skill & patience!

Thinking about you and your family Jon!

Happy Birthday Jon...that's going to be an easy one to remember...day before Uncle Albert's...hang on a minute don't say they are twins? Hope you had a good day Jon! .

Quatermass and the 'mark' had us enthralled as kids. One unlucky urchin would be deemed to have the 'mark' for that day and the rest of us would run every time we saw him. Can I just add we were watching repeats 20 years on! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6MwmPt7in4 But my current favourite has to be Hh...Hancocks Half Hour! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC1-Mrlm3TU

Oh don't get me wrong Mark, I'm all for encouraging the kids, but endless photographs of fish made out of wood and plastic inflatable fish sort of defeated the object lesson. Like many anglers I've dabbled with catching carp and I have to admit I thoroughly enjoy a sunny afternoon fishing with the candle. I'm not so much interested in catching the biggest fish but setting out to catch a specific species and learning the correct tactics to do so. Nev Fickling runs the tackle shop in town and he's more than happy to help out with predator advice on the Broads. As for fishing tackle its a case of a bit of modern coupled with the traditional. I returned to angling after the first couple of strokes and found it just about impossible to handle rod and reel with any degree of confidence. Fortunately for me after some good advice from a very experienced match angler I now posses a set of custom Shimano & Peter Drennan rods each the right length, weight and balance for me. these are coupled with Shimano reels or my Great Grandfathers Allcocks Aeriel.