Timbo

Typing some correspondence this morning and Toby the beagle, Dylly's brother, suddenly indicated he was going to vomit. I jumped up out of my chair and opened the door to let him outside before he graced my carpet. Outside he vomited and then to my horror fell to the floor and started to fit, which lasted for around four minutes but seemed like hours. My neighbour thankfully came to help fetching my car keys as I retrieved Toby's tongue as the little lad had swallowed it. I cleared his airway and we picked Toby up into the car and rushed him to the vets. On the drive down to the vet Toby began to slowly come out of his fit. He was administered oxygen at the vets to help him recover. After a couple of hours observation Toby is now back at home with the fan on him to bring down his temperature, with me having instruction from the vet to sit with him and rush him back down if he fits again.Frightening experience, Toby is now being investigated for epilepsy. I'm being checked over for double incontinence after the fit & following the vet mentioning £1000 for an MRI scan.

I remember seeing Sheila and the Silly Cones playing support to Goth originators Dicky Ticker and the Heartbreakers at the Cheesemongers Arms in Grimethorpe on their Cholesterol Tour. Dicky Ticker, whose hair was long and black with matching fingernails, was just about to perform his electric ukulele solo in the middle eight of a cover of Madonna's 'Get Into The Groove' when his head became wedged between Sheila's ample amps. A riot ensued when in a bid to avoid suffocation Dicky unfortunately bit one of Sheila's bouncers causing Sheila to break wind and fly around the concert room. The bouncer received no serious injuries and went on to work the door at the Broads Haven in Potter Heigham before taking early retirement. Of course the tour was cancelled pending health and safety enquiries which resulted in Dicky Ticker embarking on a solo career swearing never to play such large venues with crowds numbering in their three or four...s ever again. His next tour of Norfolk Phone Boxes, the £25 TV Tour,sadly fell on deaf ears with the release of the first mobile phones while Dicky was still in pre tour rehearsals.

There is already a place that the nation keeps its idiots...its called PARLIAMENT. But Iain...we are far more organised than you think...we idiots have our own burgee...and even our own motto which of course is Dico dico dico!

I remember Ray & the Romancers. Didn't the band split up after that notorious fight at the Roxy when Boy George said that their german drummer Bash Klanger was wearing lifts and hit like a girl? I know that bass player Tudge Wangler went on to join the lineup of NBN Forum favourites Uncle Albert's Trousers. I have heard a rumour, perhaps forum members may be able to correct me on this, that Rhythm Guitarist Grenville-Walks Like A Duck-Scrimshaw; after joining The Wombles and a later television collaboration with Toyah as the left leg of Tinky Winky, was looking to reunite the band with the aim of entering Eurovision. Depending upon the outcome of the 2017 referendum of course. I have to admit I sometimes dig out my VHS copy of their 1982 film biopic 'Vinyl Crap' and spend an hour or three reliving the glory days of bri-nylon y-fronts and hairspray.

A warm welcome from us too, will keep an eye out for you 'up North' in September!

That's just typical that is! No sooner than you get half your boat varnished than along cruises someone with a Broom and a dodgy haircut looking all windswept & interestin! But its really good to see you again Ray, I think last time we met you were feeding a flock of seagull's. Its a shame when 80's bands have to rely on handouts from the community!

Thanks for posting the video, I agree with Maurice Mynah this is just the kind of thing that does need bringing to the public's attention. The last thing any of us plans for on a Broads holiday is some burke putting your life and property at risk through their stupidity. As for camera intrusion it's, a good job that digital bridge cameras are so readily available these days. Next time someone is hell bent on causing destruction I won't be far behind with my own camera should I witness it. These idiots need barring from the water permanently at the very least. I'm still, with Doug's help, trying to put right the damage caused to Royal Tudor by a similar Herbert in a Woods boat while we were moored on the public moorings opposite the Swan Horning. As for camera intrusion I don't recognize such a thing. I'm floating on an old boat in a tourist area with two beagles and some old geezer in a sailor hat...there's bound to be the odd picture taken. As for spies and secret agents I don't think my doings are important enough for anyone to get all 006 3/4 's about it.

The Bavarian flotilla are still crossing the Alps into France but have encountered stiff resistance from the Swiss Navy. Although not having a knife of their own the Swiss Navy are shelling the Bavarians with cheese, pointy chocolate and cuckoo clocks. The Bavarians have retaliated with a bombardment of Black Forest Gateau in the hope that, once they make it to the top of the Alps, it will help speed their descent. More news as it happens!

Use the button labeled Special BB Code, third from the left on the top row of the reply box. Select 'Media' from the drop down list. In the new window which appears place the youtube url into the lowest box marked 'media url'. This will allow you to display a youtube video in your forum post. Hope this helps?

Own up...come on...who broke it?

Uncle Albert informs me that if you throw a load of copper into the back of one...with the aid of a couple of jumper leads you can create a battery powerful enough to run your telly for an hour. Or was that potatoes? I could be wrong! I'll ask him when he gets down from the ceiling. But why would you want to run potatoes for an hour? Where would you buy electric spuds? Don't forget to give us a wave when you pass by Wayford!

There are quite a few ex broads hire craft on the Ouse at York at Bishopthorpe. Can't remember what they were exactly. There was also a rather fine conversion to a house boat being made on one large craft.

A warm welcome from me as well. I'm not nosey or mad I've got attention defe...Ooh where did you run out of fu...what do you do for a liv...where did you say your moorings we...cit dis...are you enjoying th..order!

I'm with Baitrunner on this contentious issue. If the sun is up, then I'm up and before long the engine will be on. Its not a case of me being thoughtless, inconsiderate or rude. I have to care for a disabled person so there's no malice involved either. Its a 24/7 duty where I don't have the option of leaving Dad in his pit, there is no scope to take showers later in the day and showering whilst underway is out of the question unless I have an additional crew member with me to take the wheel while I sort out Dad. I will have already done my best to not disturb everyone but sometimes the medical and personal needs of Dad mean I have to moor with other craft. Please feel free to knock on the side of the boat to complain, but unless you've come prepared to offer assistance, or at the very least brought me a cup of coffee, then I'm afraid disappointment awaits. "The sight of someone in their pyjamas hurrying away from an irate Yorkshireman wearing rubber gloves and plastic pinney is a common one around Royal Tudor". It is not my intent to be offensive. We are all on holiday, its just that my holidays start exactly at the same time as any other day...just on board a boat...where I need to start the engine to get hot water. For more information please read: Uncle Albert's Fireworks

You are all wrong of course...with greens and yellows of the countryside and blue of the water and regal floristry not easily found in a 24hr garage after a lads night out it has to be this regal set of bunting

Just hang a cotton picking minute...I thought all mods had their feelings surgically removed when they undergo assimilation? Resistance is futile!

I get home and what do I find on the BBC? Only a certain 'Pesky Mod' taking scoot for a test drive!

Guess who's delayed...as usual! Still, an evening drive will mean not too much heat on the little dawgies! Iain, I once tackled the ladies under 21 Judo champion from Glasgow...and her sister. I woke up in a hospital with a nurse stroking my forehead. "You poor wee man wha happened?" asked the nurse. "Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised the whining yelp of complaint and cowardly resolve." I replied. "I bet yer canna guess where you are?" the nurse asked. "Suspense is worse than disappointment!" I answered. "Well you are in the best place for what ails!" exclaimed the nurse. "Dare to be honest and fear no labor?" I asked. "You're in the Burns unit of course!"

Today is the day! I will be pootling along the A17 later this afternoon at speeds so slow I'll cause tailbacks that will last a fortnight just so I can enjoy the scenery...and annoy the lorry drivers.

I've only ever seen two people wearing thongs on the Broads, but even so...two thongs don't make it right!

Ah th'cuse the listhp but would thisth mean you would be the 'Firtht of Fourth'?

That's it! I've had enough! Enough of solicitor's and social workers. Enough of documents to be read, and the 'Andrex' of endless forms to fill in. Enough of doctor's surgeries and officious receptionists who think they are more qualified than the GP. Enough of trying to think of professional ways to say 'get your thieving hands off' and 'try doing your job correctly'. Enough of paying more to listen to Vivaldi on the telephone than I would if I hired a damned orchestra. Enough of government agencies whose only goal in life is to hinder, while in the media a never ending parade of chinless, grinning idiots make promises they won't keep while asking for my vote. So... ...I'm off down to the boat on Thursday to annoy the hell out of Doug, Matt and ole 650XS with a stream of questions about boats and all things Norfolk. I need to listen to the clatter of stays on aluminium masts, the twitter of birds in the reeds and the 'boom' of the local wildlife calling 'Get orf my land'! I need to wave the hand I haven't nailed to the deck at passing hire boats, pay 20% extra in Tesco at Stalham than I would for the same product in Tesco at home. I need to sit behind a tractor on the A17, be surprised at how cheap the fuel is outside Gainsborough, and have the beagles barf in the back of the car. I need to drink beer and bottled water until I can reconnect the water system on the boat and then get my fill of organisms living in the boats water tanks. Smell river water, wood and diesel. See grebes. Watch for the otter. Take time out to watch the sunrise, the sunset, listen to the banter and jibes of friends. Just like ET what I need is to...'GO HOME' to Norfolk! So look out Jon, Doug and Matt I will be arriving this Thursday!

All this talk of grass, free broads and tripping...anyone would think we were all old bearded hippies, if we weren't all beaded hippies already. Who is the free broad btw?

I have to admit that I go a bit Foggy Dewhurst with the old coin purse when it comes to donation boxes. Particularly the sort that come with a notice of the 'recommended donation'. Having said that, there's one donation box I always make a contribution to and that's the one at Barton Turf. Bins, water, and the place is spotlessly clean and beautiful.

Quite a good piece there by the Mustard TV people its the first time I've seen footage of effects at Potter Heigham. Establishing and concluding shots at Ludham but most of the piece at Potter. I think this is an opportunity for the BA and everyone else with a stake to get involved in some 'real conservation work' for a change instead of the continual backbiting between parties. I would welcome the BA diverting cash from its tourism promotion, re-branding and self aggrandizement budget to coordinate some extensive research into this problem.