Malanka

OK People that's just below the belt.... Or should I say water line. Right that's Doug off our Christmas card list straight away. I have been trying NOT to look at images like that just so I don't get agitated and anxious, what does he do ? He sends me a most amazingly beautiful picture and to cap it all its taken from a floating Broom too (Remember I used to have one of those) . JanetAnne then compounded the heinous fellony posting another picture and then even more pictures emerge of wounded and suffereng boats all requiring boat doctoring and some containing scenes of MAJOR SURGERY. Some decorum people, at least advanced warning of content unsuitable for all viewers. Or some scenes may contain images of extreem surgery or something. I can't believe Malanka is actually floating until I have seen her with my own eyes. Roll on Friday night.... My revenge will be long in the planning and subtle in its implememnation but mark my words its coming Dog..OOops Doug... Say Hi to Hele and the pooches for us, Boris will be with us next week. Martin.

NO way Matt we will stop say hello and let the dogs tire each other out and we consume strawberry Pimms with ice whilst we watch your kids tire each other out. Then we can go to the pub .... We can discuss the price to pay for that fender after a few Pimms I may get a better price that way ...LOL Or I can simply cry on your shoulder at the cost of the boat doctor. Come to think of it let's do both... See you afloat Martin and Fiona

Just to reply that some old woodies actually steer quite well backwards due to the location and size of the rudder, finding the "balance point" is something of an art and don't let go or some fingers or a wrist may suffer the consequences. To the OP an excellent post with an elegant and simple explanation, love the diagramatical skills not scribbles at all. For a boat that weighs in at over ten tons Malanka is quite a maneuvrable old lady. Turning in almost her own length is fun and surprises loads of folks when they see it. (only to the left of course .. he he) When I was in my early twenties I cut my wooden boat teeth on Silver Jubillees and Juliettes, on one ocasion we reversed out the whole length of Horsey Staithe. Something we hadn't planned on and had no idea how to do at the time. With lines from the stern to both banks we needn't have bothered the prop kick or bias or walk was minimal she just chugged and steered and it was fun in the end... Mastering Malanka's prop walk is another thing all together. If you don't keep on top of it and then add too much throttle to correct you could easily have someone off the back and into the water the stern jumps so much. Which reminds me I must go get some new actuators for the life jackets the current ones are two years old now. Amazing how my mind wanders, I'm supposed to be finalising stuff for work as I'm going on holiday, what am I doing, typing here and thinking about next week. Get a grip man. M

Millie is a lovely well behaved lady from Coventry, it's only when the right hand pedal (metal with holes in it) comes near the carpet and the Greek Gods partying in the exhaust are unleashed that the cacophany is ...lol quite loud. Anyway enough car stuff this is a boat thread. Update.. We are coming, its a plan, the trains are booked, Friday meetings cancelled or moved, middle offspring being uploaded to Mumbai Thursday. Two remaining offspring and Boris the boat dog eagerly anticipating the off on Friday. There will now follow three days of frantic list making, undie, sock and T shirt washing and general let's not take too many clothes this time talks. The Where's my shorts is sorted this time as I took two pairs to SD and bought another whilst I was there, so beware people, Martins legs will be out, out, out. Weather is looking good for us too with not too hot, followed by chance of shower, which this being Norfolk we all know is a load of Betty Swallox and simply taking each day as it comes and looking out of the window works for me. I have a plan which involves buying new chrome polish (grrr) for the inevitable pre Beccles activities (she has to look her best you know) new deck shoes as the old ones are dying on my feet. Deciding to leave Musto at home looks wise at the moment but things change. We have a new fridge and domestic power arrangement this year, so fridge will be ice making and so cocktails may be served as part of the Malankan hostility for those that catch up with us. Barry and Tim will explain. We sourced some Pina Colada mix in the US he he. We will have various boyfriends and girlfriends coming with us at different times this next two weeks so it should prove to be a hoot. Have not yet printed the "You hit my boat I damage your face" T shirt yet but we are going to Womack..lol In celebration of Malanka's long stay at the boat doctors this year we may "Dress" her as we head down the Ant. Please honk if you see us. I will write a Malanka tale, full of its usual stuff for those that like that kind of thing. I will even bring the ships log that a kind Dolphin lady bought for her. So as I write this it's three sleeps wooo hooo. Malanka almost crewed up and almost ready to go. Sorry Griff mate, couldn't resist it's been sooo long. M

Ok all, just returned from sunny Southern California and had an update. Last Monday Malanka was due to have some swimming lessons whilst sitting in the straps. I am also happy to report that the new canopies and seats are now being installed and we plan ( such a tentative word) to be afloat next week. If anyone sees us if we do in fact make it forgive us if we are weaving all over the place as that will be due to sheer joy of floating. have to pack son number one off to Mumbai at the weekend ( Uni course thing for six weeks) then its full pedal to the metal all the way across Europe and on to Stalham. Fiona and daughter and son number two off to Koblenz in Germany today to see our new puppy. ( captain Montgomery) I get to go to work with horrendous jet lag. will let you know what the plans are and if we do actually make it. If we do get to float I will spend some time polishing all the chrome bits (all 32 of them) I know how many as one pays by item for them to be chromed....Did it once now polish is cheaper. Bye for now.

We have refered to that shoop as La-Tharms for many years, as does Charlie Dolphin. It reminds Fiona and myself of the "Emporium" in Maldon where we lived before moving to Germany in 2003. The Emporium and La-Tharms are shops where you "pop in" to buy some super glue (other adhesive products are available) and end up leaving with a dining room table and six chairs (yes we did that), fire damaged stock out the back still in its box. La-Tharms is also useful when one wants to buy a plastic Heron as one does from time to time, mainly to deter the flying fish thieves from eating our fish in the pond (after we had moved to Belgium). Latterly La-Tharms has been a stop off just to peruse the endless shelves of sometimes useless "stuff" available in three colours and four sizes which you didn't conceive could possibly exist prior to entering the establishment. Normally I stand outside with the mighty Boris and answer the same question 50 times from Northern Origin pensioners out for the day. " you don't see many of those about these days" do you ? Well yes actually we do, we have two of them have owned Airedales for 25 years and love the little devils (ok not so little). If my daughter overhears me she comments universally with "why do you speak with a Northern Accent dad". "Cos I'm from the north hun" I reply, this never satisfies her and all the many hours practicing communications theory to get the mesage across goes out the window along with " you shout when you're on the phone in the car too dad". So I just give up.. La-Tharms is a source of some cushions for Malanka and the odd pillow here and there. Various other arty crafty stuff that Fiona comes back with too. No super glue of course but such is life. Can't wait to see you all too. When is RT due to get her bottom wet by the way? Very excited here as we pick up our new car at 5.0 pm today (new to us that is)

Why do great things like this happen when we are at 35000 ft on the way back from East Coast USA... Its just not fair. Hope whatever "it" is turns out brillinatly Liz. Hopefully we will see you shortly after the 15th if the boat is fully OK by then.

If you think about it. Boat canopies are still made from the materials tents used to be made from years ago for all the reasons above. When very small and up for an adventure I remember sleeping in a ridge tent in the garden made from heavy duty canvas where you could roll up the sides and stuff like that. Over it was a much thinnner fly sheet made of waterproof materials. Colours were khaki for the fly sheet and Khaki for the tent and orange for the end pieces where you put all the baggage.. Yes it was surplus, all the equipment for it used to fit into an old Army kit bag and the primus was kept in a metal cylinder and everything else was in a wooden box that used to at one point hold two mortar shells. That's what happens when your dad was of the wartime generation. He had a reserved occupation (toolmaker) for four years then they let him join the signals where he served in the far east and India. He spent quite some time as military courier and his stories of travelling the whole length of India and what he had in his Bren gun Ammo pouches are controversial these days but nothing too special in that time. Honest provost marshal would I lie. M

This is what is known as an extended quotation and as such is what used to be called a logical fallacy. I think it is the agenda of the RSPCA inspector that should be investigated. She used the word could which does not mean was. She then goes on to say if which does not mean was and then explains what the penalties if the could and the if are actually true without a single piece of supporting evidence that they are or are not true. Thats called agenda driven propaganda and it's a tragedy that the once respected RSPCA can have allowed itself to sink so low. We should of course feel remorse for the euthanised Swan however descending to the level of Herr Goebels who first made use of these techniques in the popular press ( does the EDP count ? ) to make a rather dubious point without a shred of evidence is rather crass and should be seen for the crude manipulation it is. seeing as water is in fact incompressible how on earth can one " run over " a swan it's a ludicrous notion. ok rant over.. M

The nice part is that the older one gets everything counts and the education part just keeps happening just not in institutions. University of life is the best there is. M

I ran out of space in the unemployment form when I was young in the 80s Did I get a job . Errr nope so many Ologies too many to shake a stick at and still it's tough to get s job lol ... continuous education from 1966 through to 1985 that's a loooooong time. Learned quite a bit though ...

Speaking with two degrees under my belt I wholeheartedly agree lol M

Or should that be shovel it Timbo...? Never having trodden the tortuous path to a higher tertiary degree I can olnly go on heresay.

He has a Cambridge PhD which as we all know means Pile it high then Dump it. Eh Timbo mate.... At least that makes him a propper Doctor..lol (Old joke wearing thin I know)

Guys / Gals if you want to maintain a lower temperature. DONT OPEN THE WINDOWS...... If the air outside in the shade 6 ft off the ground is 30 degrees then the sunny air coming in your windows will be a darn sight warmer. Do what the swiss and Germans do they either have shutters or blinds or curtains which they close during the hot sunny periods during the day. Our house here is a confortable 5-6 degrees lower inside than the air outside. We either shut the shutters if we have them or curtains on those rooms we don't have shutters closed. As soon as you open the windows you lose immediately. Don't forget the feeling of moving air being cooler is just an artefact caused by the properties of water i.e Sweat. evaporating from the skin using heat from the skin to vaporise and disappear. In high humidity places this doesn't work of course. The temperature must be over 84 before we (humans) start having active cooling issues as that's the accomodation temperature where your body has to start using energy to cool down. Which is why A&E and high dependency wards and neonatal units are all at that temp or warmer. Most important for everyone is to stay out of direct sunlight when it's this hot and drink loads to maintain hydration. The elderly don't always know they are dehydrated and can suffer sun stroke or heat prostration very quickly. I have 34 degrees outside and ceiling fan going in my office, external blinds down and windows shut. Still warm but cooler than my colleagues who like their windows open. I must admit that at home the 30 mm tripple glazing does help quite a bit. I'm just glad we don't have to pay for it as we rent the house. Owning a woodie also means I'm quite pleased not to be floating in this heat.

If we are going to have a shoe porn topic, may we have a handbag porn topic and after that some sports car porn please. Have to cover the whole spectrum you know.

And its free and therefore heartfelt. It costs nothing to go through life thanking people for what they do. It costs nothing makes people feel wanted and appreciated. I try to do it for everyone who helps me especially nurses medics, firefighters police, army etc. I even thank the folks at the airport scanner who seem to random me very often indeed. it just makes life a joy to be lived and I think that's what life should be. a joy......

Both Timbo and Grendel should be "committed"...LOL, two doctors quick signature fanny's your auntie.. Cant wait to see both you guys.... M

How's this for a whole week: Doesn't compare with golden silk knickers though.. Tuesday: German lesson 90 minutes of sheer joy, docs for lung function test including two X rays. Doc says I need a CT scan... Go to work go home eat sleep get up. Wednesday: go to garage sign lease on new car. Go to work go home eat and sleep get up Thursday:Go for CT scan, one normal one contrast CT, go home eat sleep get up Friday: Discuss with doc results of CT scan, got nodules need another scan in 12 months. Grrrr. Call from Mums carer, she is in hospital been on bedroom floor all night. Go home pack bag drive with Fiona to Calais. Cross channel, drive to Chelsmford book into hotel 2 am. Saturday: go to Broomfield hospital see Nana , she is fine big fuss over nothing, remind her not to pull her emergency cord unless she needs to, drive to Ashford book into hotel eat sleep get up Sunday: Drive to Chunnel link cross channel drive to Bern arrive 7pm. Sleeeeeeeeeeeep get up 2189km in two days... Monday : why am I so tired? go to work go home..... Where's the wine...... We need the boat for some R&R M&F

I can use the word Brave, but that is an inadequate word. I can use the word selfless but that is an inadequate word. I can use the word caring but that is an inadequate word. I can use the word dedicated but that is an inadequate word. When Brave, selfless, caring and dedicated are all inadequate, the only means remaining is a physical response. Go hug a fireman he /she may need it more than we can ever possibly imagine. The young people of today have a word which I think is quite apt. Respect The people of this country are privileged to have such men and women amongst us.

Excellent result. Join the club Mollie. Congratulations all round.....

Are they the pink fluffy ones and why would I dress up as a nurse? My old Kung Fu Intructor used to be a special, most complained about special in the history of the essex force apparently. So the story goes the criminals didn't like the more unusual restraining techinques he was using. Loads of pain with no visible marks left. Those were the days eh.....LOL M

Hi Doug Funnily enough the bottom wasn't that bad actually, just a few planks replacing and they have already been done and the work on the bottom is now completed. If you remember Malanka had big cracks down between the planks on the RHS, these have now been seen to be rotten. The planks above the rubbing strake were new 3 years ago and they are fine, some of the plannking below the strake were new 3 years ago and some of them (not all) have been included in the removal. As you know you can't just remove the rotten ones you have to cut deep to get rid of the infection. Told you the removed plank pictures made us cry and not for the wallet damage. There are ten more of them but I didn't post them all. The updates we get are via pictures which tell their own story without the need for words. I am reconciling myself to no boat for a while by having a new car delivered next friday afternoon. Total indulgence silly thing that will go by the name of Millie (yes we name all our cars). The big lexus (lexie) is going to get sold once the UK insurers of the idiot that hit us last July have paid up and its repaired. Two seats flies in your hair cabriolet to have a bit of fun with, I wont say what it is you'll have to wait to see it later in the summer. Fiona's current car is called Luther by the way. And no matt that fender is not the 4% fender that particular fender is the tiny blue one we have in the font locker under the windlass. M&F

We have a maiden on board for drying. No need to have my smalls on display for the world to see. M

Towels and other washing! Fiona has had Phil fit a heated towel rain into the wet room in the boat so we can dry stuff even in the depths of winter. Pet hate1. Enormous smalls hanging from any part of any boat. We just don't need to know knickers that big even exist. Pet hate 2. Use of keep nets and then laying them out to dry behind the boat so whole area smells like a fish mongers bin. Pet hate 3. Fisher people who fill up the spaces between moored boats then take an age to grumpily move when asked to do so. I fish it doesn't make me grumpy what's that all about. Pet hate 4. Used toilet paper on wild moorings. Use a bag and take it home you animals. This is fun but better stop now and do some work... M