Malanka

Fiona just quipped that 4% would be great and which fender would you like ? M

I agree with that. I call it the entitlement attitude. m

OK All, Bit of a double post but silly me forgot I had started this thread for the maintenenace section of Malanka never ending story. Malanka is currently having her nether regions dealt with in the shed at Moonfleet (Moonfleet for next few weeks anyway) She hasn't been out of the water for a couple of seasons and it is essential to prevent the spread of rot. So she is up and out and being sorted out. Kind of Rhyms I think... Poetic or what.... So far some replacement boards are required some up by the bow, the official description was, "I put my fist through it and now there's a big hole". There are more rotten boards near the starboard stern area. This latter one doesn't surprise me as this is where the really bad rot was in the decks before we had the whole lot replaced two years ago. (which is why she is covered in new Trackmark too) The prop shaft bearings are seeing some replacement action and some remediation to the galley and wheelhouse windows. The hull boards of last big job are now dry and the gaps are being filled in traditional style (I'm a purist) along with some shed dings and a lick of paint. Anything more crops up and I will of course update the list. The lovely people at Jeckells have made the new burgundy canopies and ivory seats and they are to be fitted while the old lady is in the shed being seen to. If folks want to see an old woody out of the water then if Phil agrees i'm sure you could pop over and say hi and see what she looks like without clothes so to speak. Also a good opportunity to see the quality of the work Phils guys do as well. One of the things that always surprises me when I see Malanka out of the water is that she is huge, well at least to me she is.

Malanka's original power unit was a V6 petrol, she had bilge fans the works. Prefer the safety of the diesel I must confess having had a boat fire (long story) its diesel for me every time. What's wrong with Wick Astley anyway. My era he is and I'm never going to give up, or run around, or leave ... oops sorry.... M

Thanks Robin, appreciate the thoughts for my mum. We were going to have some new soundproofing and wheelhouse boards replaced too but with the uncertainty about we decided not to at this point. We won't be aboard anywhere near as much this season as last but it will be nice to see the guys on BA when we do. We are at the Beccles shindig with Griff boy and Loreen so that should be fun. I am also very much looking forwartd to the burgundy canopies too. We have had roll down blinds (burgundy of course) fitted in them so we can close the windows and sit in relative peace without being watched quite so much. The stern well canopy has zipped sides too with windows in the sides which will be new. We can have enclosed, windows, or zipped open which leaves just the top remaining which will make the stern well a sun trap when we want or private little cubby when we want too. Big ups to the lovely folks at Jeckells for their work. I am looking forward to seeing the photos but more so to actually feeling them ... M

Griff mate, Maybe you should open up the boat fixing business and give up the tiling...? I know a guy who has a boat that needs maintenance...He he

Fiona was with my Mother in Broomfield in Chelmsford when this happened we were waiting for my mum to be transfered from emergency short stay assessment to the elderly care ward when shazam the computer system went down. They had to wait three hours for a porter to be dispatched. Having walked that journey myself its a walk and a half pushing a heavy hospital bed. By the way when did hospital beds get so high tech ? Last time I was in (thankfully 24 yrs ago) it was bump bars and five pillows now is gadgets for this gizmos for that (back up, feet up, bum up down etc). Amazing.

We love Dilham main issue is every time we have been there it's full (must be good then) and turning the old lady plus tender is potentially entertaining, last summer the brambles tried to capture the ensign but we fought back and kept our dignity. Plodded off back to Weyford briefly considered staying there, but eventually ended up going all the way back down river to Gays Staithe where we had a wonderful barbeque dinner with wine and sun and s ... oops nearly..

Malanka's huge old BMC diesel sounds lovely on tickover. Pity is if we wanted to heat up the water on ticlover (just continuing the tradition) we would be there for hours.... Tickolver (this is fun) for us is about 700rpm and the engine is so big its quite melodic in a diesel smelly old engine kind of way. We love Irstead we just don't like the narrow nature of the river at that point. M

OK Guys, just a little update and some explanation of the current hiatus in Malanka posting. My (Martin) mum has been taken a bit poorly (thats northern speak for she is in Hospital). She has various things wrong / non functioning so no details required. She is 85 and a little frail so we are hoping and crossing everything that she gets to come out again in a non horzontal way. To another old lady (boat) topics. Malanka is currently in the shed at Moonfleet (Moonfleet for next few weeks anyway) having her check up. She hasn't had one for a couple of seasons and it was about due. So far some replacement boards are required one (some) up by the bow and another (some) near the starboard stern area. This latter one doesn't surprise me as this is where the really bad rot was in the decks before we had the whole lot replaced two years ago. The prop shaft bearings are seeing some replacement action too and some remediation to the galley and wheelhouse windows. The hull boards of last big job are now dry and the gaps are being filled in traditional style (I'm a purist) along with some shed dings and a lick of paint. Anything more crops up and I will of course update the list. The lovely people at Jeckells have made the new burgundy canopies and ivory seats and they are to be fitted while the old lady is in the shed being seen to. If folks want to see an old woody out of the water then if Phil agrees i'm sure you could pop over and say hi and see what she looks like without clothes so to speak. Also a good opportunity to see the quality of the work Phils guys do as well. One of the things that always surprises me when I see Malanka out of the water is that she is huge, well at least to me she is. We are looking forward to our first trip out which with the Nana thing and school and unlversity ending times will not be early this year. Which is good because at the moment she is on dry land with her bottom out. Best wishes for this weekends shenanigans (oops sorry meet up) and don't do anything we wouldn't do. Oh dear I do think that leaves rather too much leeway (note the boaty term there people...) Martin and Fiona

Try the bear and bell in Beccles excellent food and dog friendly too. M

Funny you should mention a vintage Bentley. I can't say which part but Malanka has a part that used to belong to a Vintage Bentley. A previous owner fitted it and told me one day whilst we were moored Coltishal side of Wroxham bridge. We get to find out all sorts of little details like that when previous custodians pop in or stop by. It's a lovely way to learn her history. M

Funnily enough we get waved at by everybody, photographed by almost everybody and gawped at by a few. We always offer to help, once I even offered even tempered advice to the very nice man who was using the screw end of the broom to thud his way down our cabin sides as he moored in Salhouse. I asked if he would object if I bounced my shopping trolley down the side of his vintage Rolls Royce if it were parked in Tesco, the mystified looks I received said it all really. I always try and help and sometimes it is well received other times less so. I must admit to being quite rudely rebuffed by the aforementioned Broom hirers in St Olaves last season. The one time I do wish someone had asked for help was at Acle three seasons ago, a rather large boat hit us five times whilst trying to moor with the wind and with the flow in the pouring rain. His good lady wife after finally completing this manoeuvre wandered over to my rain sodden self and said "don't worry dear that's what insurance is for". It turned out a very experienced round Britain sailor was on board but thought his guest should "get some experience". Not sure if this counts as too posh to give advice or too posh to take some. Didn't do much for my blood pressure either way. M with wind and with tide.

Is he fitted with a ten pm curfew though ? As far as I recall he just about getting started at ten pm. m

I seem to have several modes for driving. Car is a hybrid so I try and maximise mpg to and from work ( 36 km per day) so my foot never touches the Axminster . On holiday it's yahoo let the horses ( 288 of them) out and enjoy... I can't do it for long as my northern brain does the sums for consumption/ distance / time etc. All the time saved by going fast is lost filling up three times rather than twice lol. I kind of figure out when I'm on the A5 in the Ruhr valley that the kids and Fiona aren't happy at 220 kph ( approx 137.28 mph). Fiona's knees are on her chest her eyes are closed and the kids are quiet and have stopped " bantering" as they call taking the Micheal these days. So after 15 minutes of madness it's back to driving like Mr Bean . All strictly legal I must say. There's little as satisfying as passing plod on the autobahn at 120 mph. The hardest thing is to anticipate up front and watch the rear as you get flashed over by a Porsche or a Ferrari or a huge black BMW. Living in Germany was fun and strangely very few people break in town limits as they know if they want to go fast they can go on a de restricted autobahn and waste some time money and fuel. i want a sticker with " if you can read this I feel violated" on the bumper. Tailgating grrrr scourge of the A12... m

I remember starting work daaan saarf in 1986, Essex jokes sort of replaced blonde jokes(Fiona is a blonde) . Remember DINK's, bonking, Filofaxes, getting on your bike ( Norman tebbit) stripy shirts and white collars and cuffs. Personal pager devices and the first mobile which looked like a brick. Ahh those were the days. After that I started to work in Harold Hill and then Dagenham. Essex jokes were just as prevelent there as in slough. Fun times M

Fiona just reminded me that we also have traditional cow bells tinkling all day and night throughout the summer too. They are just over the road and Boris thinks they are big dogs and ignores them . The Swiss really do like bells. Strange in a country with a ten pm noise curfew. M

Happy Easter to everyone . Fiona and I are listening to the bells of the local church ringing out their celebration of the resurrection. One tea down another about to be made which means I have to go and make it. We sent Helena back to Uni Friday and Christian is staying next week as Fiona and I head off for a wedding anniversary trip to Toronto and Niagara. Malanka is waiting for Phil and his boys to get at it and do stuff. No boating whilst she is in the workshop. The bells are traditional ones that do quarter half and three quarter hours all night. It's quite nice to wake to the dawn chorus every day and hear the bells too. I knew there had to be a benefit to having CET. M

I am sure Geoffrey is well past the point of caring what the neighbours see. Anyone with a voice like his is blessed and so as far as Fiona and I are concerned the man is an Angel. We look forward this season to exchanging tips with the man himself. It's a privilege to call him a friend... Geoffrey, put your kit on and start cooking man. Can't you see we miss you you daft dollop. Martin. X

It's all about autogenic and allogenic succession to get technical. Professional consultations available at stupidly ridiculous prices, after all this is the boating world. m

Guess what ? Two professional microbiologists on board and we just fill tanks ( after flushing due to droppage and sun action) then we " drink it". Lol We have had new tanks but never sterilise the tanks ... warning folks that can cause more issues than just leaving them .... M

My first was on the boat hired by my oldest friends ( 53 yrs and counting ) parents. Was from bridge craft and it was a dog kennel boat, all yellow and plastic. I was 14 and it was magical, in those days (1976) it was a thing if you saw a heron it was ooohhh loook a heron . Not like today where they are everywhere. One other thing in those days it was at the height of the topless sunbathing thing that still carries on in some places and Johns dad would yell "t*ts" and us boys would rush topside to see some lady boobs . This was the summer of 1976 which was amazing . Wimbledon, boobs and boating did it get better than this for a 14 yr old . Driving the boat was good too lol . Fiona disowns this post. In 1976 she had a broken wrist and spent the summer in her neighbours pool. Boating didn't enter her life until I dragged her to the broads in 1991. Hooked ever since .... ( thank the gods) Martin

Thank you

Hi Guys Trolling through some photos so you can see the current status of the old lady I came across this one.

Fiona and I will be out at the same time as you for the show and the week after. We're just figuring out the logistics of getting to the shed for the Thursday night. The journey to stalham via the Chunnel is about 14 hours. It's also a long drive ( we will have a new car then too) the journey to hook of holland is 9 plus a sleep and 90 mins from Harwich. I have major check check up at the docs weds afternoon too. So we'll probably do the Chunnel and beat off the migrants with a big stick and hope for the best. It also would enable us to miss all the Basel and Zurich commuter traffic which is horrendous. We will of course put it all into the tale. M