The broads is rubbish because.....

[riyadhcrew]

RIGHT THEN... RUBISH - YOU CALL IT - RUBISH - RUBISH - LET'S GET THIS INTO GEAR

Ow about leavin home at 9.30 of an evenin wiv your meat pies closin an fightin your way frew di twaffic for an hour to an airport to stand in line wiv 50 fousan brown peeps twyin to check in for flights.

20kg max an some of these peeps ave 6 plastic rapped boxes an 4 cases - oh ma god.......

We get checked in an we wait for 2 hours befor they say "boarding please" - they don't have to say please cause we wonna go. No booze on this plane 'cause it's out of Saudi.

On da big bird an off we go to chicken - or I fink it's Turkey. Land in Istabull an I say to er indoors - Av I got time for a beer an a fag????

Now comes a run through transit wif a "shoes an belt off jobby" - so the machine dont go beep beep - an down to the next gate.

On the big bird an away we go. Next stop is Gatport Airwick - or summat like that. Beer in hand an 2 Scotch for the girls (they look younger than they are - really)

Land at Gatwick - or should I say - hit the ground hard and oft to the pleasures of immigration. The peeps there must be hand picked from birth to be so bl**dy stupid.

Wite den - wees ere.

Get to the car hire desk an 'e says "you're not in the system". I say you've got 1 minute to find me - or I'll be up your a*se so fast - you won't know it till I reach your eyes. It's amazin wat a little push can do an I never touched his computer.

Car loaded an oft we go. M25 is a car park - but I'm on a Saudi licence - so horn blowing an foot in the carpet an away we go.

3 hours later - in the boatyard an get fings loaded onboard.

Out comes the young lad to do the "show round and trial. " Ave you been on a boat before - 'e says?". Long before you filled your first nappie - I says. Pointed end and flat end - left and right - go - stop and that was it. Sign 'ere and enjoy.

NOW COMES THE SERIOUS BIT

Cast off and head for the river. Left hand has a beer in it and the ash tray is on my right with a fag in my right hand.

There are no planes or cars or stupid bu**ers onboard an my smile is from ear to ear.

NOW TELL ME THE BROADS ARE RUBBISH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

[Gracie]

Oh Eric, I needed a bit of cheering up today, that post did the trick...... I am crying with laughter, thank you so much for posting When you put it like that, I wouldn't dare say the Broads are rubbish again, my bottom's fine as it is thank you very much lol

 

Grace

[HemsbyPie]

I was out Sunday, was blooming awful...

[Polly]

Totally rubbish 'cos we are not there.

I am busy today making a new dinghy cover as therapy.....

Edited August 19, 2015 by Polly

[ExMemberBobdog]

I'm just going to hop into my car and nip over to Barton Turf, uncover my halfdecker and go for a sail on Barton Broad on this sunny Wednesday afternoon - just to check if it's still as rubbish on the Broads as it was on Sunday.

[BroadScot]

Yes Steve, I am still carrying the mark of the May episode! It caught my eye before I booked it! It also caught many other places too!

 

Iain

[ExMemberBobdog]

Yup, it was as I feared; blue skies with a few big puffy white clouds, winds about force 4 (horribly perfect for sailing) and 22 degrees on the thermometer.  About half a dozen sailies of various sizes tacking down and running up Barton Broad, and a regular, but not overly busy, stream of motor cruisers and dayboats chugging through the main channel.  Bl**dy awful - I may have to go back tomorrow to see if it's any better.

[BroadScot]

Yup, it was as I feared; blue skies with a few big puffy white clouds, winds about force 4 (horribly perfect for sailing) and 22 degrees on the thermometer.  About half a dozen sailies of various sizes tacking down and running up Barton Broad, and a regular, but not overly busy, stream of motor cruisers and dayboats chugging through the main channel.  Bl**dy awful - I may have to go back tomorrow to see if it's any better.

Yes BobDog just go back tomorrow and pull the plug on Barton, its obvious to me your bored out yer skull. Take up tiddly winks, less stressful!

Iain

[TheQ]

Riyadhcrew, I think you Missed out a bit about the traffic in Riyadh, the eight cars in front of you on a 3 lane high way at the lights, when you're only one row of cars behind the white line. The one on the right turning left, the ones on the left turning right. no indications when changing lanes they just "lean on you". Oh and the horns start when the lights start to change on the crossing traffic before your lights change.

Comparing to that over here and the broads is Maffe Mushkila

[riyadhcrew]

Q,

You've been here before.  Still the same.

[jillR]

well im discussed with the Norfolk broads ...

there is so much sunsine my water butts keep drying up.

there  are  sunsets that are a distraction from driving.

they cant even afford descent tiles for their roof.

and let the buildings go to rack and ruin.

[jillR]

p.s.

they cant even cut their hedges in a straight line.

 

[NonTecky]

don't forget the dangers of  Breydon Water!

[Wonderwall]

That silence and calmness on a broads morning. What's all that about? 

All you can hear is the odd duck or cuckoo. The flop of a jumping fish and the silent flight of a heron going for breakfast.

it drives me mad. And all that waving , smiling and general happiness.

its just not normal 

[JennyMorgan]

Heaven only knows why stag & hen parties come here, all that peace and contentment  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

[JennyMorgan]

Deffo the pits . . . . . .

[quo vadis]

Hope I never have to go there