Best Speeding Excuse Ever

[Hylander]

This says it all!      I did post a photo of a rather elderly lady but for some reason it will not post, so use your imagination......

 

 

 

BEST SPEEDING EXCUSE EVER

 

This may be us someday!

 

 

 

 

When asked by a young patrol officer, "Do you know you were speeding?"

This elderly woman gave the young officer an ear to ear smile and stated:-

 "Yes, but .... I had to get there before I forgot where I was going."

The officer put his ticket book away and bid her good day

 

 

Makes perfectly good sense to me!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Happy]

I have got a horrible  feeling that I may have been clocked leaving Beccles yesterday when coming home from the boat, I do hope not as I do stick to the limits, but if I was speeding Imight use this as an excuse! Regards Alan   

[MauriceMynah]

I was "snapped" when coming up to the boat at the end of last month. Letter of intention to prosecute has come and I've little choice but to hold my hand up. Mea Culpa and all that!

 

I had wondered about writing a letter explaining the reason I was speeding to see if it would help...

 

Dear Sir,

 

I admit I was speeding but it wasn't my fault. At the time of the offense I was on the phone arguing with my sister. She was saying I shouldn't be driving because drinking six pints of beer was too much. I pointed out that as the car's brakes didn't work, the police would have a hard job stopping me anyway. This didn't stop my sister from arguing that the brakes were largely irrelevant because the tyres were down to the steel anyway.

 

I ask you! Is it any wonder I was speeding?

 

Yours etc.etc.

 

 

I reckon that should help.

[BroadScot]

Just admit it MM yer a "criminal" Guilty as charged m'lud.  

 

Iain

[NeilB]

I was pulled over for speeding a few years ago, the policman said it was near the end of his shift so if I had a good exucse he would let me off with a warning.

 

I apologised and explained my wife had recently run away with a policeman, I thought he was bringing her back !! 

[grendel]

my late uncle used to be a traffic cop and managed to catch the same guy 3 times in one day, when asked why on the last time he explaind that having been stopped twice already he was running late to all his appointments and his office had told him to catch up (my uncle let him off the last ticket)

Grendel

[Baitrunner]

So has anyone been "spoken to" by the Broads "police"?

 

I do remember seeing them a few years ago at the St Olaves end of the New Cut testing their speed gun and giving a rather unhappy crew of a hire boat what looked like a ticket (if they do such things).

 

Now I may have been spoken to by them once!   But it wasn't my fault.

[MauriceMynah]

I've had a lollypop waved at me once, but that was on the southern waters and I was punching the tide. I reckon it was for excessive wash rather than my speed over ground!

[ranworthbreeze]

Many years ago I was working for the Irish Post office subcontract commisioning dual 1/2 mega watt diesel generators run in tandum.

 

Our Irish agent was caught speeding but got away with it because he stated that at the time of the radar check in fact he was breaking heavily so was therefore not speeding, maybe Irish logic but he got away with it.

 

Regards

Alan

[JawsOrca]

So has anyone been "spoken to" by the Broads "police"?

 

I do remember seeing them a few years ago at the St Olaves end of the New Cut testing their speed gun and giving a rather unhappy crew of a hire boat what looked like a ticket (if they do such things).

 

Now I may have been spoken to by them once!   But it wasn't my fault.

 

We got stopped the first time we had a hire boat.. some other hireboat had just overtook us and cut us up so we proceeded to get out overtake it  (then quickly worked out why he cut us up).. the charming BA officer just told us not to do it again.. we asked how he notice (before speed guns).. he said the hire boat we was on was a semi planning hull and we was semi planning at the time!! (Good old silver melody!).. (disclaimer: we do not speed any more - My parents boat is too slow...)..

[ranworthbreeze]

Hi Alan.

 

Tan is the person that speeds in our family, she was clocked up from Acle doing about 8.50mph in a 6.00mph section sadly she had not taken into account the 2.60mph running tide. We never mention it that often  

 

She was let off with a warning.

 

So you may find that your parents boat may be capable of speeding.

 

Regards

Alan

[JawsOrca]

Hi Alan.

 

Tan is the person that speeds in our family, she was clocked up from Acle doing about 8.50mph in a 6.00mph section sadly she had not taken into account the 2.60mph running tide. We never mention it that often  

 

She was let off with a warning.

 

So you may find that your parents boat may be capable of speeding.

 

Regards

Alan

 

Oh whoops! doe's it really run that quick through there? that's surprising... I do wonder how my parents manage to get through yarmouth so quickly though whereas it me forever .. perhaps my parents have already worked this out too! tut tut

[Gracie]

We did get a little told off for speeding on our hen party boat, not me at the helm but a first time boating girl friend.....after my explanation that she was a complete novice and if I'm honest a bit of flirting and batting of eyelids   he sent us on our merry way and told us to enjoy the rest of our holiday, we blew kisses and waved as he cruised off and we got a kiss blown back, very, very nice man Lol

 

Grace

[Poppy]

I was in court today and the judge asked, "How do you plead?"

I replied, "Usually on my knees when I want a leg over with my wife. But I'm here for speeding so just ******* fine me , all right?."

[riyadhcrew]

I left Reedham on an ebbing tide in April and the boat (Fair Monarch) was on tick-over. Going under the railway bridge, I had to give it a few more revs to get some control from the rudder. Mr. BA in his boat flagged me just before the New Cut and told me to slow down. I explained the situation to him and he said he understood and to be carefull. Good man I thought.

[Baitrunner]

I did get a holla from the BA man at Reedham just after I got my current boat.

 

Was punching the tide and although I could see I was pushing a fair wake behind me was keen to get through the bridge before it closed.

 

After much bemoaning to the wife at the audacity of the BA man to tell me to slow down when I was only doing the 5mph speed limit (as per the GPS). An hour later I realised it was set to Knots and not MPH!!     

 

As I said knot my fault 

[BroadScot]

I am beginning to wonder, should I Mod you lot for Speeding!!!      Common criminals, what will others think?

 

Iain

[Baitrunner]

Rough old lot darn sarf Iain - then again anyone below the "wall" is a soft southerner to you     

[MauriceMynah]

 Iain, You could try reintroducing transportation, at least it's warm down under!

[ranworthbreeze]

Hi Iain,

Being as you are in the chair so too speak, I would keelhaul the lot of them

 

Regards

Alan

[BroadScot]

Mark,

 

My dear old father in law use to say, turn GB upside down and let them suvern softies sample a proper winter down there lol    

 

Iain.

[Baitrunner]

Ha ha - does that mean we get the oil then Iain?      

 

We would all have to visit the Southern Lochs for our holidays as well

[BroadScot]

MM, and Mark,

 

I fail to know how anyone can speed down south. The M25 is a car park the A17 a tractor road and the M1 i've been stuck outside St Albans for hours!

 

Alan,

 

Nah a bit nippy for em this time of year. Good idea for a Spring Meet though

 

Iain.

[BroadScot]

 

 

Ha ha - does that mean we get the oil then Iain?          

Nope,you get that already, just the minus 20c Braemar and Aviemore temperatures      Thats what is called cold, not the minus 2c and an half n inch of snow that brings London to a grinding halt!

 

Iain

[Baitrunner]

Iain, that's why we get a bit giddy when confronted with an open river and a following tide - Just cant hold back on those throttles and oh to watch that needle spin up to 7-8MPH - reckless :  :  :