MauriceMynah

Luddite (modern usage) a person who CAN operate modern technology but only at the basic level. When faced with explanations as to how things should be operated to any further degree, the Luddite's eyes will glaze over and he will rapidly lose the will to live. This condition will be the same if he is in a pub surrounded by nerds. To cure a Luddite of insomnia any of the following words will do the job. Software, Hardware, Application, Download or 'Operating System' To do any lasting damage to a Luddite an explanation of Mother Boards or Baud Rates could induce coma like symptoms. CAUTION, to a luddite discussions about BIOS could prove fatal.

Dredging may be the answer in some areas, but not necessarily in all. I'm sure there are solutions to any flooding situation but I'd rather the experts spend the time getting the right solution in the right area than just being forced to bow to public demand and dredge irrespectively.

Well, I have now read from Gracie herself that she makes pies out of children, and she buys the kids from supermarkets. This isn't the 'chocolate and choux' eating Gracie I thought I knew!!!

Agreed John Thus the law encourages me to drive to and from the pub as the penalties are the same either way.

My house keys are on the same ring as my car keys So, I drive to my local pub for one beer only. I end up having several, too many to drive with. I ask the landlord if I may leave my car there and collect it early the following morning. I start walking home, keys in my pocket. Have I broken the law? .............. OR............. I walk to the pub because I'm being good. I have 6 pints of Uncle Grunwolds olde flattener. I now stagger (though not to the extent of being disorderly) back to my home where my car is parked. Have I broken the law?

Interesting! In the case as reported there is no mention of any incident nor any mention of erratic or dangerous behaviour. It sounds like the man was just stopped and breathalised as the police might do any other motorist whom they have reason to stop. If the limit for mobility scooters is the same as that for driving a motor vehicle, then that should be well publisized at least to the owner of said scooter. Perhaps Iain will inform us if that is the case. In Timbo's example there is obviously a case to answer but in the newspapers report, no such recklessness is referred to. If the law imposes that same limit it's going to be a bit hard on those who need such scooters, drink responsibily and want to go to the pub, given that someone failing the breathalizer is nof necessarily drunk. I have for some years now worried about the law vs freedom and the where such lines should be drawn. It is a grey area and a minefield.

True, but don't forget the easter weekend will be shorter this year. Don't get caught out.

I'm waiting for the Christmas card that has Santa with a speech bubble saying "LoL Lol lol" Edited to add "ROTFLMAO" might be good too!

If FRT stands for "Fire and Rescue Team, shouldn't that read "the fart from Sprowston"? Otherwise one is saying "team" twice.!

Oh Billy's all right, it's his mates Aaron, Ronnie and Mikey that I worry about.

"Job" "Living" "Lifestyle" ... this is just symantics. Anyone who's been there will know already what is involved, and those thinking about it for the first time need to do a lot of homework to seperate the facts from the myths.

Tee hee Senator, I beat you to it on that one,,last Thursday The definition of "the work place" has been a sticky wicket from day one. If for example I was a gardener, would I be allowed to smoke in somebody's garden? We all know the final objective of the government (irrespective of party) which is to weaken the tobbacco industry to the point where smoking can become illegal, and whilst I can sympathise with those who would fight for that at any cost I find myself wondering if we really want this to happen given the precedent that would set. There are other things we do that potentially put other people at risk. those too would have to come under scrutiny. As is so often said, be careful what you wish for.

Oh JanetAnn, You're just going to lurrrrve me! I brew my own tipple. Used Vegetable oil, delicately mixed with a dash of methanol alcohol, served on a bed of potasium hydroxide until the coctail has transesterificated into the finest biodiesel. Now! Doesn't that make your rocker cover salivate?

The only fish I know of that tastes vaguely of cucumber is the Garfish, though there may be others!

Oh Poppy, if only we could! Better not get me started eh.

I certainly woudn't disagree with what you say Steve, I bad landlord can kill a pub very quickly, also, no bad publican will admit his own failings when he can so easily blame prices, smoking bans and the size of herrings. We have read on here that there are many reasons for the demise of the traditional pub. I have put most of the blame on the smoking ban, and although there have been many who have supported this ban I've read no reason as to why it had to be a government ban and not a landlords ban. I have read that many here can now go to a pub where in the past they couldn't because of the smell, I am yet to read why there should not be smoking allowed pubs as well as smoking banned pubs. I would suggest that not only is there room for both, it would increase the takings of both. but above all it should be down to the landlord as to which of these options he takes.

Yeah, I'd have thought he'd have got his wife to do it!

Can anyone give me a hand patching up Hadrian's wall, It sounds like the little chappies are getting out again.

I remember last year, I voiced the same opinion about "Dry January" saying that the publicans needed it like a hole in the head! Thanks NN for bringing it up again. As for the Scots... Well at least it proves they can get something right !!....even if it's not spelling Ian correctly

I'm not sure why poeople seem to think that people who are celebraties should be skilled in other fields. They have concentrated on their chosen path to success at the expense of their personal lives. OK some have managed to maintain some social graces, but others have not. Had they done so they might not have been so good at their speciality. Nigel Mansell, Steve Davis and Wayne Rooney for example are all fine exponents of their sports, but even with my interest in F1, I wouldn't have any one of them round for a dinner party. Andy Murry did something spectacular, and is being feted for it. Well Done.

Surely there must be some recored of the sender.held by the original carrier. I sense a scam too.

Mmmmmmm.... Bondage.....!

Thank you Q, you took the words from my mouth!

We could of course go with the youngsters on Predictive text and use the word the IT has predicted to replace the word we wanted. That would be pretty book. (Book is the predictivce text for cool. )

I like the Red Cross's style. " Just leave us 1% of your estate in your will " Yeah right, like hell I will! I seem to be with the majority here, Air ambulance, 'RNLI and Caister' and just a bit to Dogs Trust. Any left over I leave to that well known charity KMMAAGHBC. For the very few uninitiated amongst us that is... Keep Mauriuce Mynah Afloat And Get His Boat Cleaned.