Timbo Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Moths pirouette in the dazzling light of a genuine 60watt lightbulb as a genuine idiot slides from beneath the pages of the Guardian Newspaper he's been using to keep himself warm. He'd tried other broadsheets but even an idiot has standards. After brushing the ice from the mirror he checks his grey-bearded reflection and adjusts his ginger fur hat before heading to the kitchen. As the electric kettle boils he tries to thaw his fingers with the steam before making coffee. 'My suits are English, but my coffee is Italian' he murmurs as the hot coffee starts to thaw at least a couple of brain cells. The ginger hat opens one eye, yawns and scratches. "Ah good morning Dylly the Boat's Beagle! Breakfast?" At the mention of breakfast, the ginger hat uncoils himself from the idiots head and jumps to the floor where he is soon joined by the idiots ginger vest. "Ah! Good morning Toby the Boat's Other Beagle!" In true Looney Tunes fashion, the taking of the morning medication is accompanied by foley of falling anvils of various sizes. The idiot holds up the tenth and final tablet that needs to be taken. It's huge. It probably runs on Android. "I don't know if I'm supposed to swallow it or shove it?" the Idiot wonders. Workmen arrive to fit a new boiler. It's only taken them eight days so far! Heat, glorious heat! The idiot dabs his toes on the radiator to start the thaw while he reads the latest nonsense regarding the marketing of the 'Broads National Park'. Chuckling to himself the idiot picks up the telephone. "Morning! Do you have the figures from the Israeli Parks and Nature Authority re Beit Guvrin National Park tourism impact on archaeology? Thank you." "Thanks for taking a look, how's retirement and the boat?" "Oh it's getting there, can't wait to start work on it again when it's warmer and I can string two words together!" "You need a holiday, come visit a real National Park!" "Don't you start!" I ATEN'T DED Possibly from the neck up, I am, but I'm working hard on not being. Normal service will be resumed very soon! 15 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riyadhcrew Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Very good to hear from you Timbo and look forward to hearing a lot more. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExSurveyor Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Keep at it Timbo, you will get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MauriceMynah Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Timbo said: I ATEN'T DED That's 3 of us now demanding a second opinion. Me and two beagles. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polly Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Good to hear you are still bonkers. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quo vadis Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Nice to hear from you Timbo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyMorgan Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Keep taking the pills. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grendel Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 21 hours ago, Timbo said: The idiot holds up the tenth and final tablet that needs to be taken. It's huge. That would be the dried frog pill, Bursar. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbo Posted February 4, 2018 Author Share Posted February 4, 2018 2 hours ago, grendel said: That would be the dried frog pill, Bursar. Oook! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcher Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 deary deary me 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YnysMon Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Timbo, we’ve missed you! Hope the Beagles are looking after you. Helen (who is currently actually and reallio on Ynys Mon at this moment in time...more on another thread). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockham Admiral Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Wonderful, Tim! Just Wonderful! We've so missed your beautiful grasp of humanity! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deebee29 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Good to hear from you Tim Glad to see that your sanity hasn’t been affected 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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