Ellie Smells!

[Timbo]

"I've had an idea!" said Ellie.
"That's nice dear!" I carried on flicking through the latest pages of 'Have Trowel will Travel' the periodical for the archaeologist who feels the words 'can you just' and 'chores' looming on the horizon.
I carried on reading, engrossed as I was in an article on the social-political agenda of early medieval thimble makers and the role of the thimble in the modern liberal society...I kid you not!
"Have you charged the camera batteries?"
"Yes dear." Apparently the thimble can be seen more as an object of social revolution than a protective apparatus.
"I've put some dresses and stilettos in your bedroom!"
"That's nice." The movement of the thimble across Europe..."What? Why? I'm not wearing..."
"Not you idiot, for the girls."
"Erm...perhaps you'd better start again and I'll listen this time...er...sweetie?"

Apparently Carolina Herrera created a fragrance in 2016 called 'Good Girl' that comes in a bottle shaped like a ladies shoe which had it's UK release last weekend and Ellie was going to review it with the help of two of her friends from work. This is why I found myself spending a Sunday afternoon filming stiletto shoes and young ladies! Of course I did my very best to look 'put upon' for missing  out  on catching up on my reading, I'd hate to start a precedent, I mean, she'll want me to do 'gardening' next if I seem too eager! 

Here's the end result of a chaotic, fun filled afternoon. I've not laughed so hard in a long while! I couldn't tell you what the perfume smells like, well not without watching the review!

 

[Polly]

Very enjoyable thanks Tim

[ExSurveyor]

Timbo,  its a tough job,  but someone has to do it

[Londonlad1985]

Well I wouldn't have watched a perfume review before joining the NBN. Excelent introduction Timbo very esoteric for a Thursday bus ride. 

[Wildfuzz]

All I get is the whiffs from the station locker room and cannabis from the drug store, I am in the wrong job, or location!

[Timbo]

8 hours ago, psychicsurveyor said:

Timbo,  its a tough job,  but someone has to do it

I look upon it as a solemn duty!

 

2 hours ago, Londonlad1985 said:

Well I wouldn't have watched a perfume review before joining the NBN. Excelent introduction Timbo very esoteric for a Thursday bus ride. 

Ah you see...a bit like the Navy, join the NBN and see the world. But for some real fun on the Thursday bus ride, pop out on the Wednesday and get a tester of Aventus by Creed. Apply to pulse points and to clothing...not too much...then carry on as normal to the bus. Get on the bus but watch the faces of the passengers as they try and track down where the wonderful smell is coming from and edge closer to it, all the while knowing it is you my boy, that smell like a god! It is at this point in my case, when they track down the source of the ambrosia, that I relish the flicker of disappointment on their faces that instead of a strapping young buck with Hollywood looks and rippling muscles...it's some daft old codger with a face like a walnut that smells divine. Priceless!
 

2 hours ago, Wildfuzz said:

All I get is the whiffs from the station locker room and cannabis from the drug store, I am in the wrong job, or location!

In that case young sir, I recommend grabbing a bottle of Jack by Richard E Grant. "lime, marijuana, mandarin, vetiver, pepper, cloves and gardenias". The top notes will send the sniffer dogs into a frenzy and the base notes will leave them waggling their ears at a loss to where the stash went!

[Vaughan]

I liked the beagle . . . . . 

My father said there was a perfume still available in the War - called "Fleur de NAAFI".

[grendel]

3 minutes ago, Vaughan said:

I liked the beagle . . . . . 

My father said there was a perfume still available in the War - called "Fleur de NAAFI".

did it smell of cabbages?

[grendel]

14 minutes ago, Timbo said:

I look upon it as a solemn duty!

Tim, I suppose that it would still be a solemn duty to transport said young ladies down to Royal Tudor for some action poses on the broads for a week- or two.

you do realise though that word is going to get round amongst Ellies workmates that you have a full film studio in your bedroom for making videos - I just hope they dont put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5

[Londonlad1985]

20 minutes ago, Timbo said:

Ah you see...a bit like the Navy, join the NBN and see the world. But for some real fun on the Thursday bus ride, pop out on the Wednesday and get a tester of Aventus by Creed. Apply to pulse points and to clothing...not too much...then carry on as normal to the bus. Get on the bus but watch the faces of the passengers as they try and track down where the wonderful smell is coming from and edge closer to it, all the while knowing it is you my boy, that smell like a god! It is at this point in my case, when they track down the source of the ambrosia, that I relish the flicker of disappointment on their faces that instead of a strapping young buck with Hollywood looks and rippling muscles...it's some daft old codger with a face like a walnut that smells divine. Priceless!

I'll let you know how I get on! 

[Timbo]

5 minutes ago, grendel said:

did it smell of cabbages?

Don't be daft Peter...the Beagle has his own fragrance of course! From the House of Butch & Bessie he wears Butch Leather a scent for dogs. Top notes of fresh vetiver and a base of leather!

4 minutes ago, grendel said:

Tim, I suppose that it would still be a solemn duty to transport said young ladies down to Royal Tudor for some action poses on the broads for a week- or two.

you do realise though that word is going to get round amongst Ellies workmates that you have a full film studio in your bedroom for making videos - I just hope they dont put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5

Ah word has already got round and I'm being made offers...to photograph weddings and Christenings!

[grendel]

just offer to photograph the honeymoon part of the wedding and - well that probably covers the pre christening too, the offers will soon stop - or at least you will enjoy yourself.

[Timbo]

With threads on smells abounding on the NBN...did you know it's International Fragrance Day today the 21st March? What fragrances will everyone be wearing to make them feel good today? I'm still deciding between Creed Himalaya or Creed Virgin Island Water...made from genuine virgin islands!

Here's Ellie's Top Five Go To Fragrances from her collection to celebrate International Fragrance Day! 

 

[Timbo]

How brave are you? Timbo in Speedos brave?

Licensed to kill...dressed to ill? Sometimes my other half has some strange ideas!

[FairTmiddlin]

going by your outro Ellie Smells is sponsored by "Strong Cheese"

 

[Timbo]

4 hours ago, FairTmiddlin said:

going by your outro Ellie Smells is sponsored by "Strong Cheese"

 

Ooh in a way...
Ben Gunn Productions is a nod to the encouragement, interest and lengthy correspondence from and with my future father in law. Over the past ten years or so we have corresponded by email on a daily basis, sometimes two or three emails a day, on subjects from current news and politics to history and my attempts at learning various skills like woodwork. Advice, running jokes, mental and written shorthand are so common that Ellie is unable to decipher what we are talking about. Although she rings her Mum and Dad every other day and we visit at least once a week she will often ask 'Hows Dad?' or 'what's Dad really got to say?' on a subject. Correspondence from me is always signed NSG for Neddy Seagoon and her Dad is always BG for Ben Gunn. 

As you will know from Treasure Island poor Ben Gunn dreams of cheese.
"Marooned three years agone," he continued, "and lived on goats since then, and berries and oysters. Wherever a man is, says I, a man can do for himself. But, mate, my heart is sore for Christian diet. You mightn't happen to have a piece of cheese about you, now? No? Well, many's the long night I've dreamed of cheese—toasted, mostly—and woke up again, and here I were."
Our little  'in-joke', so 'in' no one but us finds it amusing, means that every now and then we take a detour to the deli at Doddington Hall on our way to visit the father in law to pick up a selection of cheeses. Should we arrive without bringing cheese, this will bring about pleas for cheese from Ben Gunn.

Ooh now, a nice bit of Lincolnshire Poacher on some fresh bread and chutney...

[FairTmiddlin]

2 hours ago, Timbo said:

"Marooned three years agone," he continued, "and lived on goats since then, and berries and oysters. Wherever a man is, says I, a man can do for himself. But, mate, my heart is sore for Christian diet. You mightn't happen to have a piece of cheese about you, now? No? Well, many's the long night I've dreamed of cheese—toasted, mostly—and woke up again, and here I were."
 

I had almosy forgotten about that piece of TI, but, as soon as I saw the first few words, it tripped off my tongue like an old friends name.

Thanks for the explanation Tim

 

[Timbo]

The perfect fragrances for boating enthusiasts. Especially us 'skint ones'. AT just £34 for a 75ml bottle, the Azzaro Solarissimo range are summer aquatic fragrances bursting with hints of the Mediterranean, boats and water.

Although it does state 'FOR MEN' on the bottle...Ellie tells me they are Unisex fragrances. She told me this just when I thought I was going to add three fragrances to my collection...but instead had to fight to get two of them. So, ladies and gentlemen...a bit of a bargain to be had as these fragrances smell just as good as some of those running into the hundreds of pounds...leaving more money for wood for the boat!

 

[unclemike]

£34 quid a bottle, would need to last a year to compete with the pound shop offerings

[Timbo]

 

4 hours ago, chameleon said:

£34 quid a bottle, would need to last a year to compete with the pound shop offerings

Pound shop fragrance? Compete with a...a...pound...shop...fragrance?  Oh dear...I think you need to have a chat with Ellie young man. As soon as possible...

Now here's how it's done my very good friend. Now, this is not Ellie's shop, just my personal fragrance collection.

From the bottom to the top and left to right we have various decants in little bottles such as Armani, there's the new Ralph Lauren Blue Ultra in a 100 ml bottle, then we have Jean Paul Gaultier, Dior Sauvage. Then some 'cheapies' in the middle which are Bentley Azure for Summer and Bentley Intense for winter. Then there's Azzaro's the Merettimo and the Favignana, next to these is the Zadig and Voltaire For Him, the Mugler Pure Havanne and the Mugler Pure Malt and then finally the Azzaro Wanted. Now, these are all 'throw on' fragrances. 

Next shelf up we have Dolce & Gabanna Light Blue, Light Blue Intense, Intenso, The One EDT and The One EDP. Then we have the Gucci Guilty and its flankers (limited edition variations on the original fragrance), from Gucci we move to Armani again so there's the Code, Stronger With You, Aqua Di Gio and Aqua di Gio Profumo. Then we start to get expensive with the Tom Ford Grey Vetiver, Tom Ford Extreme, Tom Ford  Noir and Tom Ford Noir Anthracite. 

The next shelf up and it's getting a wee bit expensive. This shelf is dedicated to Creed fragrances (by appointment to the Royal family since 1760 but make fragrances for nobility and the rich and famous). Creed fragrances are the best of the best. Click the link but make sure you have anaesthetic ready for your wallet! So in no particular order, there is the Aventus, Silver Mountain Water, Himalaya, Erolfa, Green Irish Tweed (my signature scent so I have a couple of backups of this), Royal Mayfair, Royal Oud, Viking, Original Vetiver and Virgin Island Water. I also have a bottle of Amouage Jubilation XXV on there, created by the Sultan of Oman this is an oil based fragrance.

The top shelf is the everyday fragrances so there's the Valentino Uomo (I always keep a spare of this as it's my main winter fragrance), there's the Prada L' Homme, the Chanel Bleu de Chanel EDP, EDT and Aftershave, there's the Chanel Allure Homme Sport, the Terre de Hermez and then we have the Viktor and Rolf Spicebomb and Spicebomb Extreme and then there's the Dior Homme and the Dior Homme Intense (with backups).

Finally on the very top shelf, untouched is Uncle Albert's Complete Aramis Collection still in its leather gift box unopened and untouched as the poor old boy never got a chance to unwrap his Christmas present. The old boy did like his 'Phoo Phoo' as he called it.

Of course, I do have the added advantage of a perfumier for my other half and in my case 'aftershave for Christmas' is both what I ask for and what I get. And oh boy do I look forward to those gold embossed Creed gift boxes! Strange hobby for a bloke I know but...it could be worse. It could be toy trains!   Or boats. Imagine if I bought a wooden boat? Oh yeah! 


 

[finny]

No Old Spice ?

Finny

[ExSurveyor]

1 hour ago, finny said:

No Old Spice ?

Finny

How very yesterday,  Brute 33 is the way to impress

 

[YnysMon]

Wowser! What a lot of smells!

[Timbo]

7 hours ago, YnysMon said:

Wowser! What a lot of smells!

A possibility of more today Helen as I'm driving Ellie and her assistant Kiri up to York this morning for a meeting with Creed! 

10 hours ago, finny said:

No Old Spice ?

Finny

Old Spice is making a comeback in the States although there's a cuffuffle brewing about its ingredients of hydrogenised castor oil and acetic acid.
 

9 hours ago, psychicsurveyor said:

How very yesterday,  Brute 33 is the way to impress

 

I do have an old bottle of Brute 33 from the 80's in a cupboard on RT. It's really good at preventing mozzies when fishing!

 

[Wildfuzz]

Hey I am an Old Spice fan, got a couple of bottles on the go from the local drug store, it gets more comments than me posh aftershave to (positive ones that is) and in my desk drawer is a bottle of Brut! they are back in vogue.... but it is Norfolk!