It was an ancient mariner a Yorkshire man was he,
He said to wife on one fine day let's have a C-in-C.
I think we'll go on bumpy stuff, it's sure to be a thrill.
The wife she looked right doubtful, but she said, ' Alright I will'.
Now there was loads of others all keen to go as well,
But no one thought their happy plan was set to give 'em hell.
Complaints was here, complaints was there,
Complaints was all around,
Whoever thought his little plan
Would set off so much sound?
He polished boat up nicely especially the horn,
And planned to go to Yarmouth one bright and sunny morn.
To make sure all went safely, like, when they had got to sea,
He asked for a torpedo boat, a nice big MTB
Complaints was here, complaints was there,
Complaints was all around,
Whoever thought his little plan
Would set off so much sound?
But little did our sailor know that fate had took a hand,
Oh, he could get to Mutford, but he couldn't get to land.
The lock was barred against him fast, it were a funny do,
Fact is, he wasn't happy, and neither was the crew.
Complaints was here, complaints was there,
Complaints was all around,
Whoever thought his little plan
Would set off so much sound?
I doubt our trusty matelot will leave next time to chance,
He pretty good at thinking up solutions in advance.
If gates are locked the next time, he'll know just what to do,
'Cos both tubes will be loaded in good old 102!