Wussername Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 Difficult times. Awful. On so many levels. My wife and I seem to lurch from lockdown to lockdown. We are elderly, sprightly, But isolated. Vulnerable or so they tell me. No chance if you get it. Gulp! So we don't go anywhere. I live in the middle of the Norfolk Broads, Ranworth, Reedham on me wall, Womack, Wroxham, Ludham, minutes away. The government have written to me, Broadland District Council have written to me. Personal letters headed Private and Confidential, and to my wife. DO NOT MAKE AN UNECESSARY JOURNEY. YOU ARE AT RISK.............VULNERABLE Not even to see our Grandchildren, that is the most difficult part. Our life has changed. I do not have to go to Stress Co any more (Tesco). A very nice man delivers it. Love to go to Poundland. Smoke and mirrors, but I loved it. But no more. Morrisons after gym at Riverside Norwich but sadly no more. I do miss their pies. However, we are drinking more, at home. Alone. No longer social drinking, no longer that glass of Sauvignon Blanc on Barton, Ranworth (Mallthouse) or indeed Bargate. My wife and I feel alone. Not abandoned but isolated. Another glass my dear.. hic! 4 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranworthbreeze Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 As you say not seeing or seeing them on the doorstep for a short while is all we can hope for in these troubled times. It was my eldest sons Birthday on the 29th October, we stood by his door and passed his presents over the threshold and talked for a short while, before going home to get back into the warmth. I think we are all reeling in these exceptional times. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAVIDH Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 I feel for those who are told to isolate, but don't have a husband or wife at home. What a miserable existence that must be. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CambridgeCabby Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 Thankfully you have each other , so many elderly and vulnerable are totally alone , like my mother , I still travel to see her three times a week but a wave through the window with shopping put on her doorstep is far short of comfort for her , she misses her grandchildren and great grandchildren whom she normally sees weekly . I hope you both keep safe and well and are able to enjoy your enviable surroundings again very soon . 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turnoar Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 Sight at a distance is better than nothing, if your family can pass by in the course of recreation and speak or wave from the end of the path it keeps you in touch with family and civilisation. Otherwise do use online virtual apps if possible, not my personal preference but the only option sometimes and important to keep in touch. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracie Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 This awful virus has so much to answer for. It kills, leaves people feeling isolated and alone, robs us of being with loved ones and more people suffering with mental health problems. Just so bloody awful. I felt sad when I read your post I hope you and Mrs Wusser get to see your Grandchildren soon. As well as my family it's people like yourselves that I wear a mask, keep my distance and wash my hands regularly for in the hope we beat this thing and can get back to some sort of normal. You have your forum friends, some of them are a bit crackers but that's a good trait to have being a member of this place You take care and stay safe x 10 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyMorgan Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 My wife and I have a good friend, not only has she lost her husband but also her two cats. She's now so alone and dreading her first Christmas by herself, even though she has an invite to share the day with us. The present lock-down won't end just because Boris says so. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finny Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 1 hour ago, Wussername said: Difficult times. Awful. On so many levels. My wife and I seem to lurch from lockdown to lockdown. We are elderly, sprightly, But isolated. Vulnerable or so they tell me. No chance if you get it. Gulp! So we don't go anywhere. I live in the middle of the Norfolk Broads, Ranworth, Reedham on me wall, Womack, Wroxham, Ludham, minutes away. The government have written to me, Broadland District Council have written to me. Personal letters headed Private and Confidential, and to my wife. DO NOT MAKE AN UNECESSARY JOURNEY. YOU ARE AT RISK.............VULNERABLE Not even to see our Grandchildren, that is the most difficult part. Our life has changed. I do not have to go to Stress Co any more (Tesco). A very nice man delivers it. Love to go to Poundland. Smoke and mirrors, but I loved it. But no more. Morrisons after gym at Riverside Norwich but sadly no more. I do miss their pies. However, we are drinking more, at home. Alone. No longer social drinking, no longer that glass of Sauvignon Blanc on Barton, Ranworth (Mallthouse) or indeed Bargate. My wife and I feel alone. Not abandoned but isolated. Another glass my dear.. hic! Being a father and Grandfather i feel you pain ,we meet up locally and have a social distance stroll with the family and grandkids usually through the park ......it aint naturally right but it sure does give us a lift ,with regards shopping we have moved it to saturdays after 6pm and usually find the place almost empty ... ...its more a case of learning to ride the storm anyway we have Gracie to keep us on out toes finny 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 I seem to be having trouble finding the words I need these last few days but the bottom line is that we are a community here and now is a good time to remember our shared interests and passion and to feel that we are among friends. There is nearly always someone online in the forum and I'm certain every one of us has a sympathetic ear ready for any member who just wants a chat. 9 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracie Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ray said: I seem to be having trouble finding the words I need these last few days but the bottom line is that we are a community here and now is a good time to remember our shared interests and passion and to feel that we are among friends. There is nearly always someone online in the forum and I'm certain every one of us has a sympathetic ear ready for any member who just wants a chat. Wow So very true, so very right and so beautifully written x 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisB Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 I am on my own. My eldest son is in Bucks, my youngest in Melbourne. This year we had planned a family Christmas, either in Norfolk or Australia but that is not to be. Our last family Christmas was just before Judith's cancer re-appeared in 2015. My eldest and I did manage a week in September, walking in Pembrokeshire. Before that I had not seen him since the previous Christmas. We had to cancel our planned week for his 45th. Also cancelled was my 2500 mile trip through France and Northern Spain. On the 23rd November it will be the 4th anniversary of Judith's passing, in January she would have been 70, in May it would have been our 50th wedding anniversary. However I do consider myself a lot luckier than very many. I have a warm, comfortable roof over my head, I have no money worries and I live in a lovely area on the Norfolk Coast with nice country views from the house, my track down to the house is part of The Paston Way, so I don't need to get the car out for some great country walking. I never had a drink all the time that I nursed Judith. I have lived 71 years and have had my ups and downs, especially in business and have seen alot:- BUT NOTHING prepares you for watching your soul mate of 50 years 18 days and your wife of 46 years being carried from the home you shared, bought for your retirement, in a Body Bag. When they had left I opened a bottle of XO and phoned my sons. I would have a drink, but by January 2017, 6 weeks or so after being widowed, I realised that I did not want to drink alone because there is no incentive to screw the cap on! I only have a drink on holiday now. So I take these lockdowns in my stride, I live with loneliness anyway, it is part of life because when you are a couple, one day, one of you will be on their own. I have accepted that I will never get over losing Judith and I must just make the best of things. 1 3 8 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 You describe your loss and the sad aftermath with great dignity and bravery Chris, I can't imagine coping half so well. I hope something of this year's Christmas can be salvaged and if not then hopefully plans can be made for family get together as soon after as possible. 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisB Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 I would add that my eldest phones every evening and I speak to Australia twice a week. So I am more fortunate than many. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracie Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 I am lost for words. All the very best sent your way Chris. My heart goes out to you x 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turnoar Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 Chris, no substitute for your losses but I can wing my cycling recreation out your way if you want socially distanced contact with the real world. Notwithstanding that pm me and virtual options I’ll probably be able to cater for. These are horrible times for shore. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisB Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 That is very kind of you. Let us all see what December brings. One of my pleasures is Clay Shooting, hopefully that will start up in December. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAVIDH Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 As you say Chris, nothing prepares you for that moment when you're left alone. My despair was so deep when Doreen died, I was non-plussed as to how nobody had warned me such pain existed. People lose partners and loved ones every day, and as i walked around Leeds City Centre, I looked at the faces because some of them must have been experiencing the pain of loss, even though they weren't showing it. It's life's biggest charade. Just soldier on, in the hope that it will get better in time. But it doesn't. It stays there, though it's joined by other more positive feelings of life. The awful thought is that half of all couples are going to be left this way. And I ask again, why is it nobody warns you the pain is great, and to make every last second together count. In another thread we were asked what we would spend the money on, should we have a really big win. I wrote, but didn't send, because I thought it too sentimental, that I couldn't think of anything which would make my life materially better, so I would hire a team of scientists, in the hope they would come up with a time machine, to take me back five years, so I could spend time with Doreen again, while she was healthy and happy. I also added that Chris could have second go with it. Then Alan, and anyone else who's lost somebody. 1 3 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 It's a pain so deep and personal that it's hard to imagine being in that awful situation. Just like Chris you have eloquently shown us a glimpse of what you bear. In fact you are giving us the warning that you wish you had... Thank you and take care. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyMorgan Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 Chris mentions that the Paston Way runs past his front door, in my case its the Angles Way. With the first, and now the second Lockdown, I have met numerous new faces who have taken to walking or cycling the footpath. I've made several new doggy friends too! It is a good world when complete strangers warmly return greetings and offer to help if needed. If nothing else this accursed pandemic has given good folk more time for their fellow beings. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisB Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 On that note Peter, I would say that getting out for a walk is very therapeutic. I know it is bandied about and fashionable but whenever I have faced adversity a country walk, the wilder and more remote the better has certainly been a great help and aided my thinking. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracie Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 10 hours ago, DAVIDH said: As you say Chris, nothing prepares you for that moment when you're left alone. My despair was so deep when Doreen died, I was non-plussed as to how nobody had warned me such pain existed. People lose partners and loved ones every day, and as i walked around Leeds City Centre, I looked at the faces because some of them must have been experiencing the pain of loss, even though they weren't showing it. It's life's biggest charade. Just soldier on, in the hope that it will get better in time. But it doesn't. It stays there, though it's joined by other more positive feelings of life. The awful thought is that half of all couples are going to be left this way. And I ask again, why is it nobody warns you the pain is great, and to make every last second together count. In another thread we were asked what we would spend the money on, should we have a really big win. I wrote, but didn't send, because I thought it too sentimental, that I couldn't think of anything which would make my life materially better, so I would hire a team of scientists, in the hope they would come up with a time machine, to take me back five years, so I could spend time with Doreen again, while she was healthy and happy. I also added that Chris could have second go with it. Then Alan, and anyone else who's lost somebody. David you should have sent that post on my big win thread, no matter how sentimental it was. You're among friends here. The proof of that is in this very thread that Old Wusser started last night Bless your heart, you take care and stay safe x 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyMorgan Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Lack of mobility is a growing problem for yours truly. At one time I thought nothing of a thirty mile bike ride or a ten mile hike but those days are regretfully behind me. I still go for a couple of miles slow stroll but cycling is no longer an option. No one warned us that our bodies would eventually fail us, as has happened to both Lynn & I over the last couple of years. That has come as a bit of a shocker, understatement of the month! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 48 minutes ago, Gracie said: David you should have sent that post on my big win thread, no matter how sentimental it was. You're among friends here Absolutely, well said Gracie. The friendship side of NBN is one of it's most valuable and important aspects, it reflects the whole spirit of the Broads and Boating. This is a good time to remember that the discussions are all underpinned by the idea that we are all people that it's good to talk to. I'm personally regretting getting into one or two discussions that should have been left at "agree to disagree" 3 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said: That has come as a bit of a shocker, understatement of the month I feel your pain... Literally 🍺 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YnysMon Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 This thread has certainly reminded me of my blessings. Like some others I’ve been finding this lockdown a bit more challenging than the spring lockdown. At least it was easier to get out and about then. The thing that is currently worrying us. We have been finding it increasingly difficult to get in contact with my father in law who lives in Anglesey. He doesn’t tend to wear his hearing aids at home so doesn’t hear and answer the phone. We have his neighbour’s phone number but don’t feel we can pester the poor woman each time we can’t contact him. When we get too concerned we have taken to writing to ask that he phone us. We then ask him to phone us regularly, only he’s getting forgetful and doesn’t. Graham wants to go and bring him down to stay with us, but of course that’s against the current ‘rules’. All very worrying and frustrating. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExSurveyor Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Exceptions are allowed for caring duties and obviously if someone's safety is in doubt. Might be worth a call to his local authority to seek advice. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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