stumpy

A couple of weeks ago I was on my way back from Ipswich, about 14 miles from home, when I was pulled up by a traffic car. "You're a fair way from home sir, mind telling me why you're out?" " Just delivered 8 sets of scrubs my wife made to the distribution centre officer." " Tell her to keep up the good work, I'll put a tag on your record so you won't be bothered again " As Mr. Punch said " That's the way to do it!"

I still occasionally use Lonley's reply to being asked how he liked his tea...."Interfered with, Mr. Callan"

I've seen much scarier sights than that on POW Rd. on a Saturday night!

I'm sure I remember a pub somewhere on the A149 with a 6 cylinder Jaguar engine in the bar fireplace with the exhaust running up the chimney. For a quid in the lifeboat the landlord would fire it up - much better than any juke box!

I third that - a mate settled on Gozo in Marsalforn four years ago, we had a cracking three weeks there last year and were planning the same again this year. Fingers crossed!

I saw on Facebook a few days back that the stall selling bird food by Wroxham bridge has been reinstated - well meaning but maybe not good for social distancing.

Back when I had a proper job I was a lab rat in a bugs lab testing, amongst other things, sh1t samples for things like salmonella and E-coli. The cleaning jollop of choice was 10/1 hypochlorite aka diluted bleach. I also got through 30-odd pairs of latex gloves.

Rob at Sutton Staithe does Flogas - it's where we get ours from.

Done

Many years ago the Felixstowe - Zeebrugge ferries were unable to sail for 24 hours when a suit thought it would be good to have huge Duracell battery display in Duty Free complete with a 5' high cut out furry chicken. Cue walk off by most of the crew. As the Customs boarding Officer I was tasked with removing said item and certifying it destroyed before sailings could start again! Somewhere there's a snap of me striding down the quay with it under my arm. Oh how we laughed, luckily our management were mostly ex RN and 'got' it

Re: Emergency ward 10, my dear old Mum was an old-school sister tutor - I can still hear her shouting at the telly whenever a hospital soap was on. I think the volume got up to 11 for 'Angels'.

I think I remember a blackboard at Ranworth for urgent messages to holidaymakers "Mr Bloggs on Saucy Sal phone Aunt Ethel - Urgent" . Always worried my dear old Mum.

I'm sure I remember a mountain rescue team in Beccles, they used to climb the pavement near the Bear and Bells with all the gear when they weren't dwile flonking - late 60s.

Floydraser - Patio Magic is great stuff! I spray with a 1:5 dilution on the green bits,especially round the rubbing strakes and edges of the canopy and leave to dry on every Spring. Did No Worries a couple of weeks ago which looks like the only maintenance she'll get for a while.

We have a Bounty 27 aft cockpit (follow on from Maurice's Elysian) and he speaks wisely. The only place you'll not find a good 6' headroom is in the shower/bog. The "double" in the saloon is barely 4' wide, if we have guests they put up in a nearby b&b and we dayboat them about.

Yellow and black (L) for under quarantine, plain yellow (Q) " my vessel is free from disease and I request free pratique". If no Q flag a knot in the ensign can (used to) have the same meaning. I spent 15 years being first up the gangway in search of a boarding tot. ( wink emoji)

Every pub should have a senior gentleman, puffing on a pipe of counter shag with a pint of mild in front and an unidentifiable dog under his settle, available to give his opinion on absolutely anything!

No Worries is ex Fencraft, what we thought was a sheet of perspex to keep wet coats of the back of the hanging locker turned out to be a sandwiched map - the one with a foaming pint pot marking the pubs. It now hangs behind the lifebelt in the cockpit for guests who do the 'are we there yet' speech.

Just saying, but in the inward Customs car hall if the interior of a car reeked of air freshener it usually meant someone had been smoking dope in there and it was time to get busy.

Wooden bog seats are all very well until they develop a split which closes when weight is put on it! I can still smell the little hurricane lamp that hung under the cistern in winter too.

I think I'll pop out and buy a bolt of yellow fabric - I foresee a demand for 'Q' flags.

The Stracey Arms was always entertaining when it was a bikers pub - often had a ride up with other miscreants from Ipswich.

I understand its an Enterprise house, doubt they'll leave it empty and not earning for long. A couple of mates took on an EI pub in Ipswic and started trading last September - they only signed on the final dotted line of a 5 year lease a couple of weeks ago.

Another vote from us for Danish Oil, as many coats as you can, flatted between each with 0000 wire wool looks and lasts well, only needing a quick touch up every year or so. I was put on to it a gnarly old French polisher who did our work social club bar 20 odd years ago.

I've always thought it a good crossing if I have to pick seaweed off the coachroof afterwards - Kathy's view is somewhat different !