What's In A Name?

[Timbo]

I'm not talking about boat names here. I'm talking about the names of the future generation. It might just be this particular part of Lincolnshire where parents have lumbered their offspring with heinous monikers? According to the census before last we have a child in the town named Chlamydia, reported on Radio 4. At my Granddaughter's school there is a girl called Latte. Today I was introduced to four of the kids from a family of eight. 'They all 'ave rate classy names!' their mother told me. 'This is Armani, this is Joop and this is Lauren her twin brother's ova thee're he's Ralph'. Of course me being me...I couldn't resist asking 'is your husband a bit of a Brut', but of course my comment fell to the ground quicker than a Chelsea forward in the penalty area.

I can't help asking 'what the hell is wrong with people?'. I kid ye not an acquaintance of mine with the surname Farquhar called his first born Tarquin. He was most dischuffed when I threatened to call the authorities.

[Guest]

I have an enduring memory of the name of one poor lad at my secondary school back in the early 1960's.

His parents had saddled him with the "Wayne Romeo".

[Wonderwall]

Chantelle is the faviroute of the ned up this way. Unfortunately Chantelle is usually in the shops with her pyjamas on.

And in the roughest voice imaginable, Darcy gets roared to get her backside over here!!!,

[Gracie]

What I really don't understand is why celebrities call their children such bizarre names like, Apple Blossom and Sunday Rose, that little girl is not going to be called Sunday Roast much, is she? My Dad has always had a passion for Boats, when my Mum was carrying me she had cravings for Bananas, It pains me to have to tell you this but my real name is Banana Boat  

Grace

[JennyMorgan]

41 minutes ago, Wonderwall said:

Chantelle is the faviroute of the ned up this way. Unfortunately Chantelle is usually in the shops with her pyjamas on.

And in the roughest voice imaginable, Darcy gets roared to get her backside over here!!!,

If a Sottish 'Ned' is the same as an English 'Chav' then having her pyjamas on is a distinct improvement over her more usual QD onesie.

[ExSurveyor]

I went to primary school in the late sixties with a girl called Porshe. 

A distant family member with the surname Mann called their son Arthur,  

My grandson is called Knight, although that seems to have grown on everyone after the initial surprise. 

Whilst out surveying in a less popular area of a town I did hear a mother screaming at her little daughter,  Comanche,  git outta da gutter and come over ere wiff Elk rose. 

 

[Timbo]

A rather wonderful lady in the village that I grew up in had difficulty pronouncing words beginning with or containing the letter 'R', instead substituting 'W' in a similar style to Pontious Pilate in the Life of Brian. Her kids names? Wonald, Wussel and Wichard. Her husband? Bwian of course.

[grendel]

When I was younger, we had a girl in class whose parents must have had a sense off humour, her name Theresa her surname Green.

[SteveO]

I used to work with a lady called Randi Bitsch, who was a working group secretary at the Danish Standards Institute. Her parents clearly did not speak colloquial English.

Steve

[SteveO]

On 28/03/2016 at 7:48 AM, Timbo said:

A rather wonderful lady in the village that I grew up in had difficulty pronouncing words beginning with or containing the letter 'R', instead substituting 'W' in a similar style to Pontious Pilate in the Life of Brian. Her kids names? Wonald, Wussel and Wichard. Her husband? Bwian of course.

They weren't called Woss by any chance, were they?

Steve

[VetChugger]

Nobody ever believes me when I tell them I used to work with a fella blessed with the name of Arthur Plank!

 

I swear its true!

[BroadScot]

I played cricket against aTarquin Fortesque. Went to Fettes College, I believe!

Iain

[TheQ]

I would point out that Porsche is named after Ferdinand Porsche and Mercedes was named after the Daughter of  Emil Jellinek  an early designer /founder of Mecedes.

Me, I got a name that appears to be that of  a Battle in Eritrea, followed by a surname as being used as a second Christian name. When just about every other boy was Matthew Mark Luke or John.

Not Good....

I did work with some one called Paul O'Donnel

Which sounds alright but everyone called him POD

[hazelgirl]

My colleague at work her maiden name was Rachael White, at school she was constantly asked if she was a secret lemonade drinker lol 

[Gracie]

I wanted to name one of my sons Gotham, so when he woke several times during the night I could wake my other half up and say "Gotham needs you", I thought seeing as he used to be a massive Batman fan, it might have worked but he wasn't having any of it, can't think why  

Grace

[Baitrunner]

On 3/26/2016 at 11:16 PM, Gracie said:

 my real name is Banana Boat  

Grace

Grace is that not "Grace McBanana Boaty Face". Sorry this is going to go on for a long time!!

Worked with a yank called Richard Seamen - yep he was known as Dick and didn't understand the humour!!

Girl at School called Paulette , surname Nuss - at registration time it was always initial then surname - work it out.

Also, lad called Martin, surname Martin! That's a bit like Neville Neville.

And not to mention Michael Hunt!!!

I would also share the middle names my niece gave to her first born, but cant remember them all. All I remember is in the mix were Alan Shearer (how Shearer is ever a christian name) - I would like to point out you can choose your friends, but not your family!!!!

Still the wife often calls me **** or some other funny name which I always respond to

[BroadScot]

4 minutes ago, Baitrunner said:

Still the wife often calls me **** or some other funny name which I always respond to

Would that be ..... Haw You! 

Iain

[webntweb]

I worked with a guy called Jerry Chambers.

Not sure if his first name was spelt with a J or G, but that didn't matter to the less kind of his workmates.

Roy

[JennyMorgan]

Bloke used to live near me by the name of James Riddle. His wife has insisted that he change their surname to Riddell, can't think why! Don't know why Jimmy tolerated that though. 

[LizG]

Where I work the worst that comes to mind is a youngster called Beau Bender . to my mind that is just cruel

[grendel]

I used to work with a Martin Hore, when he got married he took his wifes surname, as she refused to become a Hore.

[ranworthbreeze]

We always used to listen to the radio on Sunday, The Navy Lark & Jimmy Clitheroe.

These lines always make me laugh.

There was one line which still has me chuckling, when Jimmy and his father were talking to Susan’s slow-witted boyfriend, Alfie Hall. They must be meeting him for the first time, and you have to imagine this in a Lancashire accent.
“What’s your name son?”
“Alf Hall,” came the reply.
“Don’t worry lad, we’ll pick you up again!” says Jimmy.

Regards

Alan

 

 

 

[SteveO]

There used to be someone called Robert Sole at work. He had to be very careful how he wrote his name.

Steve

[BroadScot]

49 minutes ago, SteveO said:

There used to be someone called Robert Sole at work. He had to be very careful how he wrote his name.

Steve

Was that incase he put his  foot In it? 

[Timbo]

5 hours ago, grendel said:

I used to work with a Martin Hore, when he got married he took his wifes surname, as she refused to become a Hore.

We used to have a Richard Hore at school. Oddly Richard's nickname was Eimer. His sister was in the year above us and given the nickname Sheeza.