Why Are There No-drive-through Mc D's On The Broads?

[JennyMorgan]

According to this report the Broads are probably too flat. Have you ever encountered any hills as you gently cruise between Stalham and Wroxham? A drive though at Ludham Bridge would seem to be an attractive and obvious proposition but the rivers of Norfolk are deceptively flat. A drive through Adnams off-licence would be good!

https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/new-anti-obesity-law-forces-mcdonalds-kfc-and-burger-king-to-open-on-hills/?utm_source=mailpoet&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=mailpoet+tooth+fairy

[RumPunch]

If it's illegal to serve a drunk alcohol, why isn't it illegal to serve the obese a burger ?

[NorfolkNog]

5 minutes ago, RumPunch said:

If it's illegal to serve a drunk alcohol, why isn't it illegal to serve the obese a burger ?

Good point!!

[Meantime]

Putting all jokes to one side for the minute, in all forms of addiction the cure is normally removing temptation and abstinence. McDonalds have made a living out of getting people hooked on fast food for decades, those happy meals with the little toy are all about encouraging a lifetime of patronage from people hooked on their food. Eric Schlosser has written a very enlightening book called Fast Food Nation which is well worth reading, especially if you want to give up Maccy D's KFC etc.

An alcoholic is never cured, they are just a recovering alcoholic for as long as they have avoided a alcoholic drink. The same goes for the gambling addict, or the drug addict.

How do you avoid food if that is your particular form of addiction? You need some food to survive. A bit like an alcoholic being told he must avoid alcohol, but must drink one pint of beer per day to survive! or the gambler being told he must only bet twice per day!

 

[vanessan]

14 minutes ago, EastCoastIPA said:

How do you avoid food if that is your particular form of addiction?

You can’t, you just eat as sensibly as you possibly can. Unfortunately, many of the the folk addicted to fast food generally can’t cook or have an aversion to it. (Only my opinion of course.) With so many chefs and food writers around these days, it’s very easy to replicate the fast food chain menus but in a far more healthy way. It’s fun too. Good luck to Boris in his attempt to tackle obesity!

[RumPunch]

I wouldn't say I was addicted to takeaways and fast food, but pre lockdown I was seldom home till very late and relied on them, or came to anyway.

Since lockdown I have shed a stone as a direct result...…..

[OldBerkshireBoy]

It is a spoof report folks.

[JennyMorgan]

44 minutes ago, RumPunch said:

If it's illegal to serve a drunk alcohol, why isn't it illegal to serve the obese a burger ?

I often wonder!

[JennyMorgan]

16 minutes ago, OldBerkshireBoy said:

It is a spoof report folks.

I would never have guessed! However, many a wise word written in jest! 

I still think a drive though, drive under at Ludham Bridge, could be an absolute gold mine. Phone through your order one mile from the bridge. Of course there would be suitable and customary McD signage for several miles along the river bank either side of the bridge. You wouldn't need to stop, as you pass under the bridge your order would be dumped on the cabin top via a chute, perhaps even aimed directly at open, slavering mouths.

[Wonderwall]

21 minutes ago, OldBerkshireBoy said:

It is a spoof report folks.

You had to spoil it 

 

 

[OldBerkshireBoy]

18 minutes ago, Wonderwall said:

You had to spoil it 

 

 

Which way is the naughty step? 

[ChrisB]

31 minutes ago, JennyMorgan said:

I would never have guessed! However, many a wise word written in jest! 

I still think a drive though, drive under at Ludham Bridge, could be an absolute gold mine. Phone through your order one mile from the bridge. Of course there would be suitable and customary McD signage for several miles along the river bank either side of the bridge. You wouldn't need to stop, as you pass under the bridge your order would be dumped on the cabin top via a chute, perhaps even aimed directly at open, slavering mouths.

You know that I have advocated a deck chair on Ludham Bridge in a good stiff breeze as the best free entertainment in Norfolk for many years.

I think it is a wonderful idea Peter, if not a "Cruise through" a McD on the quay would suffice to add to the show.

Think of the chaos and added value on Fridays and Saturday as a hundred Richos race down The Ant to be first in line for a "Big One" only to meet Herbies and Barneys coming the other way.

And anyway it will stop the Grocks accusations of backyard protectionism when the reed beds and rivers are choked with Styrofoam cups and Burger Boxes like the rest of the country.

[ChrisB]

I am wondering if a "Cruise Thru" (note I have now got the correct spelling for through) KFC might be better for the environment as the chewed bones could be lobbed on the bank and moorings for the rats, foxes and mink to stop them eating things smaller than themselves.

[grendel]

if its any consolation i have some great footage of a hubby nearly dragging his wife into the briney in a day boat, she had the rope and was ashore, he decided to go around for a second attempt (right in front of me and right in front of the bridge, she hung on to the rope and wisely decided to let go, he hadnt even looked to see me coming, just took off into the middle of the river, there was someone coming through the bridge as well.

[Helian]

This reminds me of when the Heathrow 3rd runway was headlines a year or so ago and the local press suggested the rerouted M25 could go under or OVER the end of the new runway..... I kid you not. Visions of jets aiming for a tunnel / under a bridge....

Sent from the Norfolk Broads Network mobile app

[Meantime]

As long as it was at the start of the runway it would be fine. Be more like a rocket launcher. They could probably get away with a shorter runway! 

[JennyMorgan]

9 hours ago, ChrisB said:

I am wondering if a "Cruise Thru" (note I have now got the correct spelling for through) KFC might be better for the environment as the chewed bones could be lobbed on the bank and moorings for the rats, foxes and mink to stop them eating things smaller than themselves.

Talking of lobbing made me think of a solution for Ludham, Potter and Wroxham Bridges. A scaled up trebuchet that could lob a fully laden holiday cruiser over rather than under a bridge could be a real bonus attraction for boat hirers. Save a trip to Gt Yarmouth to visit the Pleasure Beach. 

[Cockatoo]

16 hours ago, JennyMorgan said:

I would never have guessed! However, many a wise word written in jest! 

I still think a drive though, drive under at Ludham Bridge, could be an absolute gold mine. Phone through your order one mile from the bridge. Of course there would be suitable and customary McD signage for several miles along the river bank either side of the bridge. You wouldn't need to stop, as you pass under the bridge your order would be dumped on the cabin top via a chute, perhaps even aimed directly at open, slavering mouths.

A bit like fish and chips at Potter during the Three Rivers :)

[Paul]

As Capt. Mainwaring might say, I think you're heading in to the realms of fantasy now, although wait, hold on a minute. I can see it taking shape as I type. Ludham would be no good, Womack, that would be ideal. 

You have that nice straight section just before you get to Hunter's where windows one and two could be located. 'Window' one is actually an intercom machine of course into which you speak to place your order which is then confirmed by an operator at the other end whose voice is so distorted by the machine that in addition to the constant drone of your BMC 1.5 you'll have no idea whether you've just ordered a big mac and fries or put twenty quid on the nose of the favourite in the 4.15 at Kempton Park, but that all adds to the realism. 

Window 2 is where you pay, or more accurately where you correct your order and pay as you now realise that as little as you could understand the operator speaking to you on that intercom, he or she could likewise not hear a word you were saying. Below the window there is always a little perspex box for you to drop in your loose change for Ronnie Mc D's chosen charities, perhaps to make this more regionally appropriate we could use this loose change box to fund the Acle Debacle? 

Window three is where you collect your food, or at least what passes for it, and would be opposite window two on the other side of the dyke so you can cruise on around the island then back towards the main river collecting your assemblage of bags, boxes and cardboard cups as you pass. Perhaps we could employ a net system with a drawstring mechanism on the bottom so that the operator can swing this out over the river as you pass and release the string just when you least expect it upending a large latte directly into your lap and your double cheeseburger into the foot well, again maintaining the realism. This cruise around the island will allow sufficient time for some spotty faced youth to over cook your burger, sorry, In Mc D's speak "patty", add the gherkin you ordered to be omitted and for the lettuce to go limp, squash the whole thing down so it resembles something you thought you'd thrown away yesterday and of course, most importantly for the fries to go cold as warm fries would never do. 

You could then swing around in the main river and repeat the process when you realise they have completely forgotten the large banana milk shake you ordered and paid for, the toy in the kid's happy meal is exactly the same as the one they gave you yesterday and the four cartons of "tangy barbecue" dipping sauce you asked for to accompany your twenty McNuggets is actually tartar sauce because they have run out of barbecue and the person who packed your meal is not aware that Chicken and tartar sauce is about as good a match as a bath tub and a hair dryer. 

Finally we can install large litter bins on the corner of the main river at which people could aim their waste as they pass by, inevitably missing so that big mac boxes, fillet of fish wrappers and Mc Coke cups can percolate their way around the local area, carried by wind and tide to the four corners of broadland, after all there's nothing like free advertising. 

I think we're on to a winner. 

[ChrisB]

And a slick of mayonnaise on the water could help keep blue green algae at bay, whilst the bones from KFC wings and legs and unwanted burger because the porkers eyes are bigger than their already ample stomachs lobbed overboard would solve the problem of "groundbait pollution" everyone wins!

[Vaughan]

I am a great lover of good satire, since it draws our attention to the real truth behind the hype and gives us a good laugh at the same time!    

Trouble is, good satire is often too close to the real truth, for comfort . . . . .

[MotorBoater]

10 minutes ago, Vaughan said:

I am a great lover of good satire, since it draws our attention to the real truth behind the hype and gives us a good laugh at the same time!    

Trouble is, good satire is often too close to the real truth, for comfort . . . . .

I am reminded of an episode locally where Ronald attempted to open in a small town near me and were stoutly resisted by the local citizens - for 20 plus years. They never give up and you have no idea what is going on behind the scenes.

Eventually a pub closed and as it already had a food license Ronald snapped it up, along with it's huge carpark, and there was at last nothing the residents could do.

Jokes now are all very well but you might be crying into your Latte at some point !

I realise footfall is important but Ronald versus RSPB at Berney might make for an interesting battle !   

[Paul]

9 minutes ago, MotorBoater said:

I am reminded of an episode locally where Ronald attempted to open in a small town near me and were stoutly resisted by the local citizens - for 20 plus years.

not unlike the seaside town close to where my sister used to live, which for many years resisted a Costa fearing it would damage the existing local tea rooms. Under similar circumstances the potential franchisee purchased an existing cafe and in quick order a Costa was opened. 

Despite all the protests, guess where the locals get their caffeine hit now?

[ranworthbreeze]

24 minutes ago, Paul said:

not unlike the seaside town close to where my sister used to live, which for many years resisted a Costa fearing it would damage the existing local tea rooms. Under similar circumstances the potential franchisee purchased an existing cafe and in quick order a Costa was opened. 

Despite all the protests, guess where the locals get their caffeine hit now?

Hi Paul by preference neither Costa or McDonald's would get any business from me.

Regards

Alan

[Paul]

I can understand McDonalds, but why not Costa?

We have McDonalds occasionally mostly for the kids, not too often though, but I'm partial to my Costa