Broad Ambition - Underway on the H2O

[ScrumpyCheddar]

Happy Birthday Griff at least the sun is shining for you have a good one ..

 

Mike & Tan

[Gracie]

Happy Birthday Griff, have a lovely day

Grace

[BrundallNavy]

Many happy returns from the crew of Nipper. Have a drink on me.

Doug.

[BroadAmbition]

How lucky was that? Moorings full but still managed to get alongside sort off. B'day dinner tonight in t pub. It's still proper hot. Cracking day. Staff (well some of em) just came out into garden singing happy B'day with a pint if Wherry!  I need to come here again 

Griff

[riyadhcrew]

I reckon you are at the Bridge Inn. Enjoy Griff.

[Bound2Please]

Have a goodun Griff

Charlie

[ranworthbreeze]

Hi Griff,

A birthday on a boat, sunshine and the promise of a beer or two and a bite to eat, assuming someone else is standing your tab it could no better

Regards

Alan

[BroadAmbition]

Spent what was left of the afternoon in the beer garden with MrsG and Macie dog then had a great B'day dinner with Jason/Sonia.  Was slightly miffed at the end of our evening to discover that scoundrel Hatch had made off sneakily paying the whole bill, I'll have to get him back for that one.

Wednesday morning had a bit of a lazy start, eventually meandering off to Malthouse Broad, was lucky to get a slot up the side.  Now it was proper warm by 1000, by midday it was getting to that rare situation where we just had to put up 'B.A's canopy to get some shade.  Spent the lunchtime inside the pub rather than outside as it was v.hot and Macie dog needed the shade.  MrsG had the Ploughman's, I had the Cromer crab salad - both excellent, the pub was v.busy too.

Eventually made tracks back to Stalham, stopped off en-route at LBBy for pump out and diesel, I was in luck, our card for the pump out was full which meant a free one, diesel is currently charged at £1:00 per litre for those that need to know.  It was still proper hot so we decided to moor at Paddy's Lane at Barton Turf to clean through 'B.A' in the shade were there would be some breeze on offer.  It was a good move as at 'B.A's home berth it was nigh on unbearable, shade yes but like being in an oven that was not fan assisted.  (I heard on the news this morning that Wednesday was the hottest day of the year - It certainly felt like it)

At 1930 we departed for home.  Oh nearly forgot, due to being against the tide for most of the days we were out, I managed to use 75 Ltrs of diesel, that must be near a record for 'B.A' over a six day run out.

So ended my B'day time afloat combined with the Beccles Carnival and the Wooden Boat Show.  Cracking time afloat all round, met up with many old friends, made some new ones, 'B.A' was faultless the wx was on our side too.  Now it's Bro's turn with his crew from this evening.  Next time afloat for me will be in September as part of HMS Illustrious Comms Dept annual reunion thing 'B.A' along with two Jewels from H.W's over one of those extended weekend trips - that promises to be a riotous assembly and me/Bro' will have to keep a grip on them I reckon

Griff

[BroadAmbition]

'B.A' currently at Ranworth Staithe, soon departing for the New Inn at Horning for overnight (Mooring and table booked).  They are reporting that it is another scorcher, not so uncomfortable whilst underway  as there is a breeze on offer but when alongside, looks like the canopy will be erected to give some relief

Griff

[BroadAmbition]

Riotous Assembly

'B.A' crewed up Thursday night 22nd Sept with myself and Bro' onboard.  Friday morning one of our crew from HMS Illustrious Comms department arrived onboard.  Attend to a few items, pre-sailing preps as per the norm then sail at 1030 for Potter Heigham - change into shorts n T-shjirt as soon as we got out of the shed, it was a proper nice day.  We got 'B.A' berthed alongside in Wood's yard on the grassed area adjacent to both the Jewel of Lights that were making up our flotilla until Monday.

The rest of the crews all arrived on time. The crew - Yes, all of them ex-RN and members of HMS Illustrious communications department.

I had gone to some lengths when agreeing to their request of organising this weekend to 'Educate' all crew members as to how to carry on and conduct themselves whilst within the Broads in all aspects. I had issued each of them written 'instructions / guidance' as to how best achieve this - just used my standard 'Lads Week' itinerary document with a few adjustments

H.W's dinghy tied onto 'B.A's transom and our flotilla set sail for Stokesby Ferry pub.  On arrival after getting 'B.A' berthed I had to move a hire craft down the quay heading (With the skippers permission) to get one of the Jewels alongside, the t'other one double berthed along side them, the moorings were busy, surprising for late on in September, (it turned out to be the same wherever went)

Sundowners onboard a Jewel for 16 of us, then into the pub for drinks and dinner, a few more drinks, pass the parcel and a few more drinks.

'Pass the Parcel'  Apparently this a tradition at their once a year reunions they hold.  The gist of it is, a large circle is formed then it begins.  As each wrapping is removed there is a gift inside.  The guy that wrapped the parcels knows what gift is next and who is most suited to receive it.  'Music' (Term music used very lightly) is supplied by all participants in the form of 'Diddley diddley Dee' to the them tune for 'Captain Pugwash' with the main man shouting 'Stop' according to his secret list.  It went very well with the pubs clientèle paying attention as they would do.  The thing is that if the item received is an item of clothing then the receiver has to change into it there and then.  Fortunately there were a few t-shirts but no underwear of any description, having said that some items were definitely not for public viewing especially Ladies / young ones!  By the end of the evening we had got away with it and mightily relieved I was too.  Worse, much worse was to come tomorrow though!

Griff

[tjg1677]

That was sheer class griff, bit like a banyan but in a pub !

Oh the days of a good run ashore!!!  can't wait to hear the rest - bravo zulu.

Trev

[BroadAmbition]

Saturday 24th

I was awake - no surprise there then, what was surprising was, as I lay there I appeared to not to be feeling canine rough or have a headache which was a minor miracle considering how much ale was supped yesterday from 1200 to lights out.  I was just thinking to mysen, I'll visit the two Jewels, sort out sailing times and destination then I'll get B'fast for 'B.A's crew on the go.  Then I heard that familiar sound in the not too far distance, a sound that instantly took me back years to my last sea going draft.  It was a Bosuns Call - shrilling out 'Call the Hands' just what the families of surrounding boats thought of this high pitched whistling invading their space I dreaded to think, at least it was nearly 0800 so not piped at the standard naval time of 0645.

The two Jewel crews opted to go the tea rooms for B'fast, ours was had onboard.  At 0950 many orders from both Jewels could be heard along the following lines:-   Hands to Harbour Stations  /  Single up  /  Let go Fwd  /  Let go Aft  /  All clear Fwd  /  All Clear Aft  /  Upper deck secured for sea  /  Procedure Bravo  /  Broad Ambition  -  As both Jewels came gliding past us, their crews stood to attention, faced to Stbd, saluted as the Bosuns call once more made itself heard with 'The Still'  only I was ready, we replied with 'The Still followed by the 'Carry On' they replied with the 'Carry On'.  Official salutes / greetings completed we were now in formation four with 'B.A' flying flag Golf bound for Malthouse Broad and Ranworth Staithe.

It was another glorious summers morning only in late September.  Shorts and t-shirts were once again the order of the day. the The Jewels were in front of 'B.A' we kept in touch using the PMR radios as inter-ship comms whilst underway.  Having passed Acle moorings (Thank God, Neptune was smiling on me)  I was just wondering where 'Bomber' was, I didn't have to wonder for much longer, he appeared out of his cabin wearing a genuine lime green 'Mankini' , black socks n trainers and nowt else other than a wicked smile.

Now before I go any further - Bomber is in his mid fifties, bald, overweight, more tattoos than your average matelot, a tom cruise model he is most definitely not.  Both me and Howard (And Willy) were somewhat gobsmacked, it got worse too (I did say it would) onto 'B.A's foc'sle he marched, copt hold of the Thames pageant staff and struck a pose in full view of every boat coming the other way, families, wives, girlfriends, those that are confused and on the wrong bus, the lot.  It was cringeworthy.  Me and Howard were now arguing as to which one of us was going to hide in the dinghy, Howard was on the helm - He was staying there, there was no way I was taking over from him (and being photographed) as he was loudly demanding.  Of course the two Jewel crews were just loving this weren't they? Many photo's, filming, sailor type remarks etc.  There was just no shifting Bomber either, there he stood right up to Thurne mouth,  Never has 'B.A' ever adorned such a figure head before in all her 50 years

I took to using 'B.A's brass megaphone explaining to passing craft that he was not with us and that he had been found on a deserted bank and we had to rescue him.  Fortunately the crews of the boats that I knew not,  seemed to take it in good spirits, with many waving and all laughing that I could see.  I have been monitoring FB and various forums and other than a closed HMS Illustrious FB group have not seen any photographic evidence of this momentous occasion and hope I never do either!"  (I have my own photographic evidence but that's for the Illustrious Lads).

Having passed Thurne mouth, Bomber now more suitably attired it was a steady cruise to Malthouse Broad, the staithe was full, which I was not really disappointed with as it meant no stern on mooring for two large Jewels with novice crews,  So we elected to mudweight and raft up, plenty of fenders sorted, an evolution carried out with ease, or it would have been if Jewel 1 had not chucked their mudweight in over the bow without having first made sure the end was tied to a cleat - it wasn't so the lot went over the side.  Much hilarity by the rest of the crew, much embarrassment to the anchor party who insisted that he had been 'set up' - I tend to think he had been too but he got caught out all the same.  Fortunately H.W's use floating rope on their mudweights so we retrieved it with the dinghy, no harm done.

Howard was the coxswain for the dinghy, four trips it took him to get all of us ashore. were we encamped in the sunshine outside the pub, well away (As was possible in my relieved eyes) from other patrons for our first DTS,

By the time we left the Maltsters it was about 1430 and half the day was over.  Was that the days embarrassments over with? could we get to lights out with any further incidents? - A resounding 'NO' of course, but you just knew I was going to say that didn't you?

Griff

[Broads01]

I'm enjoying this Griff, keep it coming.

[BroadScot]

Talk about the Navy Lark !   Thought for a second I would require the quarentine button !!! Much safer, and less embarassing in Adeje with MrsG.... Griff! 

Iain

[tjg1677]

Yes, please keep it coming, its fantastic, just one thing, very minor point, the jewels forgot special sea dutymen and hootrotdcotudcasdas 

[BroadAmbition]

They did do the the special sea duty men bit, as for HOO etc, well there were six crew, two for the berthing lines, two fendering, one on the helm and one lookout so there was no one left to COTUD!

Griff

[SwanR]

Great write up Griff. Read some of this to my hubby who was chuckling away as he is ex-services himself.

[tjg1677]

10 hours ago, BroadAmbition said:

They did do the the special sea duty men bit, as for HOO etc, well there were six crew, two for the berthing lines, two fendering, one on the helm and one lookout so there was no one left to COTUD!

Griff

Lolololol.       enough said!!!!      

[LondonRascal]

Seems that these Navy chaps may grown older but are not so keen on growing up. What a great story and more to come - quality stuff this, makes some Stag Parties seem tame in comparison lol.

[BroadAmbition]

Saturday 24th Cont . . . .

Howard was duty coxswain on the liberty boat (Dinghy then).  My immediate concern was getting all crew back onboard all 3 craft safely.  Whilst non of us was legless, all of us would have failed a breathalyser test by a Norfolk mile.  There was the answer to the conundrum, the Ranworth day trip boat was alongside, a quick word and he agreed to take 12 of us back to  our boats, 12 was the maximum he was allowed to take, which left four of us in t dinghy.  Our next destination was Horning.  I advised the Jewels that they should be able to berth at Ferry marina foc whilst we would find a spot outside the Pub, (the berth opposite the pub are now closed of course)

So all 3 x craft weighed mudweights with the now normal naval commands ringing out.  Then there he was   -  'Skin' stood proudly on the aft coach house roof of a Jewel adorned in that nightmare lime green mankini, There was only two positive points on this development, 1)  He didn't look quite a bad as Bomber and 2) He was not onboard 'B.A' !  The trip to Horning was uneventful and at sometime during the transit 'Skin' made himself more presentable.  Both Jewels berthed without incident in Ferry yard whilst we managed to get the first alongside berth just upriver of the doors of the Ferry Inn, we could get immediately outside the doors as it was not 1700 and that area is reserved for the day boats.  The mooring fee was a tenner which is not refundable against meals etc

By around 1930 all crews are in the Pub in one area by one of the bay windows.  The pub was heaving and I was somewhat concerned by the loud and 'matelot' language that could be clearly heard.  Sure enough it wasn't too long before one of the staff politely but firmly stated that the language had to be reigned in at least until 2100.

2030 and it's pass the parcel time again, 'Diddley Diddley Dee' captain pugwash rang out loud and clear, which attracted a crowd of onlookers once again.  Every time the order 'Stop' was announced as the 'lucky' bloke removed a layer of paper the rest of them (us then) would go 'Whhhooooooo' whilst the prize was revealed.  15 blokes all over 50 going 'Whhhhoooo' in anticipation, I ask you!  The gifts were good quality stuff too with a few items of clothing that had to be donned immediatley but thankfully this time only a couple of the prizes were somewhat risqué.

 

Then it started:-

I'd been dreading this happening in a social gathering with civvies around us but what could I do?   -   sometime after 2100 - A Naval 'Sing Song'  Now then, I guarantee you won't find these Navy songs on youtube, or anywhere else for that matter - (believe me I've looked) the closest one I did find was the 'Lobster song' but that is tame on youtube compared to the real RN version.    'Lady of Gosport'      'RM/RN Fornication'   'Father Abraham' (With actions)      Sweet Chariot (With actions),     'The Oomegooley Tribe'     'Dockyard Bimble'     'Naval Stores'    etc etc, they just kept on coming.  Well I have to confess here and now, both me an Bro' joined in, well I just couldn't resist it, most of them I knew but thought I had forgotten.  There were by now only two couples adjacent to our merry 'band' by the windows I was thinking they are either   1) Going to depart sharpish or  2) Complain to the management.  As it turned out they did neither. what they did do was proper laugh their nappers off, the wives were using tissues from crying with laughter, I was proper relieved.  Mind you who can't laugh at a line in one of the verses of 'Lady of Gosport' which refers to the 'Lady' at a colonels formal dinner dance in a ball-gown sliding down the bannister with no underwear on (I've tamed down that description and then some)

During a break I popped outside and was somewhat disappointed to discover that there were a fair number of clientèle sat there, with the windows open by 'Our Lot' they could be heard as clear as a bell.  Again no one complained so I can only assume they enjoyed the performance too.  I did consider going round the tables and apologising but they were too many of them, besides by now I was none to steady on my port and stbd stand ups and I would have identified myself as one of the miscreants!

2300 and I've had enough, well to be honest I probably had enough ale by about 2030 but what the eck, it's not everyday these sort of get-togethers happen.  I'm onboard 'B.A' so was Howard.  Sometime after midnight when we are drinking water / coffee trying to ward off the dreaded morning after feeling before we had turned in,  'B.A' was cast adrift from her berth. Fortunately Howard noticed it quick enough for me to leap ashore and make fast the berthing ropes, this time bringing them back onboard - pointless really as there were not any rings, just posts at our berth.  That could have ruined our night good an proper, the tide was flowing out at a good 2mph, 8 x ton of 'B.A' doing 2mph hitting something solid is going to make a mess not to mention give folk a good fright.  Still no harm done. (In the morning we got a good idea of the miscreants - none of our lot thank goodness)

So sometime way after the witching hour I was turned in.  Just one more full day to go and then normality would return.  Could I get all of us back to the yards on Monday morning without further incidents? - Of course not!!!  then I was asleep, well more like comatose to be honest.

Griff

[tjg1677]

Abserloooootely brilliant griff, please please keep em coming. That one had all the makings of a good channel night!!

There is no doubt that you are a master dit teller and we are not worthy      

[riyadhcrew]

All fixed Griff. Enjoying the tale.

[BroadScot]

Ah the Lobster song ! Takes me back to Captain's nights at my cricket club !!!  Keep it coming Griff, or else!!!!!

Iain

[Liberty]

A rousing chorus of the Lobster song, closely followed by the Engineers' song always goes down well on rugby tours too 

We have a fair repertoire of ditties to make the ladies blush, often sung at full voice on the coach!! 

[BroadScot]

The late Bill Simpson (Dr Findlay's Casebook fame) taught me Dr Svetboxer  Happy days !